back out the tunnel lost in darkness high above our heads.
The princess and her consorts laughed and she shouted, "So, this is how humans defend themselves? And who invited that?"
"I'm just warming up," I called back over my shoulder. "Gotta find my groove. I thought we were friends, princess? Oh, and this is Mithnite. He's a very naughty boy, aren't you, Mithnite?" He said nothing. I think he'd realized maybe it wasn't such a good idea to hurl himself into a black hole without knowing what to expect. I know I was feeling less than groovy about the decision.
"We are not friends," she snapped, as I sped up then dodged when the lumbering, yet infuriatingly fast Dimp swished his axe at me, missed, then almost got Mithnite before I shoved him away.
"Shame. I could have shown you how we treat people we wish to employ, and it's not like this."
"You must show your courage if you are to be of service. No cowards may survive in our world, Black Spark."
"I'll kill him," I warned.
"That's why he's here. Dimp has come to die, but only if you can beat him."
"Fine," I said with a sigh, and stopped. I turned and faced the hellish heavyweight, lifting a finger and waggling it in his direction. "Look here, dude, I don't want to harm you but if you don't stop chasing me then... er... Ah! Yeah, it's a Faz Special." Look, I was out of practice with the cool one-liners, okay?
I don't think he heard me, as rather than cower and retrace his steps, he snorted and charged like a bull in a china shop, the only delicates in the area being one rather soft-centered wizard enforcer and one idiotic Mithnite Soos.
Almost upon me, I saw a rune on his left pectoral snap to bright red and it was as if he turned everything up to eleven. He kind of exploded in size, and yes, I do mean that literally. Now he was as tall as me and if I'd thought he was freaky before then now I thought he was ridiculous.
It was so beyond scary it was out the other side. He was so disfigured, such a balloon of a dwarf, puffed up and inflated like a bodybuilder who'd decided the best way to look good was to inject vast amounts of synthol directly into the muscles.
I couldn't help myself, I began to laugh. Even as my eyes darkened and beautiful magic roared into my body from the temptress that is the Empty. My ink swirled dangerously as hardly controllable forces readied for action, I laughed and couldn't stop.
Unable to understand what was happening, Dimp stopped dead in his tracks, axe of destruction—probably called Deathgiver or something else unimaginative since dwarves aren't very good at original names—raised in the air.
"You look like a donut with a skin disease," I managed to say as I bent double and chuckled until my cheeks hurt.
In hindsight it was probably a little rude, as no doubt he'd spent many centuries training to be such a formidable fighter and user of magic, but I think after everything I'd been through I simply couldn't find a fear bone left in my body.
So while I laughed, lost to the ridiculousness of the situation, he took advantage, the cheeky blighter, and swung down his axe as he growled, "Deathseeker shall taste human blood this day."
See, I told you they're crap with names.
The Joy of Battle
I wasn't sure what the new magic locked inside me was capable of, but hundreds of pounds of sharp steel descending toward my head made now the perfect chance to find out. If I was wrong I was in big doodoo, but here went nothing.
As time slowed and magic enthralled me, I straightened, all mirth vanished, and slapped my hands together above my head at the perfect moment. The axe was caught between my palms that crackled with magic, double their normal size. "Two can play at that game," I hissed, as Dimp's eyes grew wide and angry under weighty brows, one split by a scar that ran down from forehead to cheek. He tugged, then yanked, then heaved, muscles rippling across his torso, but I held on tight to the blade as though it was
The princess and her consorts laughed and she shouted, "So, this is how humans defend themselves? And who invited that?"
"I'm just warming up," I called back over my shoulder. "Gotta find my groove. I thought we were friends, princess? Oh, and this is Mithnite. He's a very naughty boy, aren't you, Mithnite?" He said nothing. I think he'd realized maybe it wasn't such a good idea to hurl himself into a black hole without knowing what to expect. I know I was feeling less than groovy about the decision.
"We are not friends," she snapped, as I sped up then dodged when the lumbering, yet infuriatingly fast Dimp swished his axe at me, missed, then almost got Mithnite before I shoved him away.
"Shame. I could have shown you how we treat people we wish to employ, and it's not like this."
"You must show your courage if you are to be of service. No cowards may survive in our world, Black Spark."
"I'll kill him," I warned.
"That's why he's here. Dimp has come to die, but only if you can beat him."
"Fine," I said with a sigh, and stopped. I turned and faced the hellish heavyweight, lifting a finger and waggling it in his direction. "Look here, dude, I don't want to harm you but if you don't stop chasing me then... er... Ah! Yeah, it's a Faz Special." Look, I was out of practice with the cool one-liners, okay?
I don't think he heard me, as rather than cower and retrace his steps, he snorted and charged like a bull in a china shop, the only delicates in the area being one rather soft-centered wizard enforcer and one idiotic Mithnite Soos.
Almost upon me, I saw a rune on his left pectoral snap to bright red and it was as if he turned everything up to eleven. He kind of exploded in size, and yes, I do mean that literally. Now he was as tall as me and if I'd thought he was freaky before then now I thought he was ridiculous.
It was so beyond scary it was out the other side. He was so disfigured, such a balloon of a dwarf, puffed up and inflated like a bodybuilder who'd decided the best way to look good was to inject vast amounts of synthol directly into the muscles.
I couldn't help myself, I began to laugh. Even as my eyes darkened and beautiful magic roared into my body from the temptress that is the Empty. My ink swirled dangerously as hardly controllable forces readied for action, I laughed and couldn't stop.
Unable to understand what was happening, Dimp stopped dead in his tracks, axe of destruction—probably called Deathgiver or something else unimaginative since dwarves aren't very good at original names—raised in the air.
"You look like a donut with a skin disease," I managed to say as I bent double and chuckled until my cheeks hurt.
In hindsight it was probably a little rude, as no doubt he'd spent many centuries training to be such a formidable fighter and user of magic, but I think after everything I'd been through I simply couldn't find a fear bone left in my body.
So while I laughed, lost to the ridiculousness of the situation, he took advantage, the cheeky blighter, and swung down his axe as he growled, "Deathseeker shall taste human blood this day."
See, I told you they're crap with names.
The Joy of Battle
I wasn't sure what the new magic locked inside me was capable of, but hundreds of pounds of sharp steel descending toward my head made now the perfect chance to find out. If I was wrong I was in big doodoo, but here went nothing.
As time slowed and magic enthralled me, I straightened, all mirth vanished, and slapped my hands together above my head at the perfect moment. The axe was caught between my palms that crackled with magic, double their normal size. "Two can play at that game," I hissed, as Dimp's eyes grew wide and angry under weighty brows, one split by a scar that ran down from forehead to cheek. He tugged, then yanked, then heaved, muscles rippling across his torso, but I held on tight to the blade as though it was
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