beer, gesturing to see if I need a refill. I nod my consent and grab the bottle from him.
Taking a sip from my fresh beer, I swallow it down and search for the words that will make the shambles that is my life make sense to John.
“Of course I have. If I could go back and do things over, I would have told Sam I wanted to be with her when she came for me. I can’t go back though. Brooke was pregnant and my selfishness caused her to lose the baby. I’m the reason why she is so over emotional. She’s harboring insecurities about the way I treated her before and she’s still broken up about the baby. It’s only been six or seven months since the miscarriage. I think she just needs some more time to heal, and I’m going to hold her hand while she does it. Marrying her is not necessarily what I want, but it is what she wants and I think she needs to have that show of commitment right now.” I finish with a sigh and down the rest of my beer. I feel the need to start numbing myself again from the daunting prospect of my future.
“Well you’re more of a man than I am then. I would have cut bait a long time ago. As soon as she started acting unstable, I would have ran the other way – even after the miscarriage. I get that you feel a sense of duty to her, but no one would judge you for walking away. You deserve to be happy. I don’t see her making you happy and think of it this way, you obviously aren’t making her happy either,” John states, ever the voice of reason. I have an obligation I need to see through though. There is no option of walking away, not until Brooke is better or she moves on willingly.
“I’m not sure anything will make that woman happy.” I scrub my hands down my face, suddenly exhausted from this conversation. “I have to admit, I’m fucking curious about what’s going on right now while they are shopping. I wonder if the roof has caved in or if they’ve been arrested for trying to kill each other.”
“Give your sister more credit than that. She’d wait until they were in private before she killed anyone!” We both laugh and thankfully, the mood on the deck starts to lift.
“I’m going to go see what the girls are doing. You need anything while I’m inside?” I ask as I push my chair back from the table and stand up.
“Nah, I’m good. I think I’m going to go make a sandwich and head downstairs to see what game I can catch on TV.” John follows suit and heads with me into the house.
“Where is everyone?” I call out as I walk from the kitchen through the living room, finding no little munchkins in there.
“Helloooooo!” Still no noise.
“You can’t hide from me! I’m going to find you!” I continue taunting them as I make my way down the hall. I can hear little giggles coming from behind Grace’s closed door.
“Shhh! I don’t want him to find us!” Grace whisper-shouts at her sister.
“I am being quiet! You’re the one laughing!” Candace tries to quietly argue back.
“No, you’re not!” Grace states loudly back to Candace this time. I bite my lip to hold back my own laughter. I pause outside the bedroom door and quietly put my hand on the doorknob.
“Ready or not! I’m going to get you!” I yell, as I bust through the door. Grace shrieks and runs to the left, while Candace attempts to scramble on the floor to the right.
I grab Candace, while dashing across the room for Grace. We all fall onto the bed laughing. Stuffed bears and Barbie dolls go flying everywhere as we roll around on the bed, their little legs and arms flailing around. The girls struggle to get away while I tickle them as best I can, considering all the squirming they’re doing.
“Stop! Stop! I’m going to pee my pants, Uncle Jacob!” Grace shouts breathlessly and pulls on my hand. And that right there is my cue to stop what I’m doing. I so do not need to take a bath in urine.
Grace runs out into the hall and slams the bathroom door behind her. Candace leans into me and
Taking a sip from my fresh beer, I swallow it down and search for the words that will make the shambles that is my life make sense to John.
“Of course I have. If I could go back and do things over, I would have told Sam I wanted to be with her when she came for me. I can’t go back though. Brooke was pregnant and my selfishness caused her to lose the baby. I’m the reason why she is so over emotional. She’s harboring insecurities about the way I treated her before and she’s still broken up about the baby. It’s only been six or seven months since the miscarriage. I think she just needs some more time to heal, and I’m going to hold her hand while she does it. Marrying her is not necessarily what I want, but it is what she wants and I think she needs to have that show of commitment right now.” I finish with a sigh and down the rest of my beer. I feel the need to start numbing myself again from the daunting prospect of my future.
“Well you’re more of a man than I am then. I would have cut bait a long time ago. As soon as she started acting unstable, I would have ran the other way – even after the miscarriage. I get that you feel a sense of duty to her, but no one would judge you for walking away. You deserve to be happy. I don’t see her making you happy and think of it this way, you obviously aren’t making her happy either,” John states, ever the voice of reason. I have an obligation I need to see through though. There is no option of walking away, not until Brooke is better or she moves on willingly.
“I’m not sure anything will make that woman happy.” I scrub my hands down my face, suddenly exhausted from this conversation. “I have to admit, I’m fucking curious about what’s going on right now while they are shopping. I wonder if the roof has caved in or if they’ve been arrested for trying to kill each other.”
“Give your sister more credit than that. She’d wait until they were in private before she killed anyone!” We both laugh and thankfully, the mood on the deck starts to lift.
“I’m going to go see what the girls are doing. You need anything while I’m inside?” I ask as I push my chair back from the table and stand up.
“Nah, I’m good. I think I’m going to go make a sandwich and head downstairs to see what game I can catch on TV.” John follows suit and heads with me into the house.
“Where is everyone?” I call out as I walk from the kitchen through the living room, finding no little munchkins in there.
“Helloooooo!” Still no noise.
“You can’t hide from me! I’m going to find you!” I continue taunting them as I make my way down the hall. I can hear little giggles coming from behind Grace’s closed door.
“Shhh! I don’t want him to find us!” Grace whisper-shouts at her sister.
“I am being quiet! You’re the one laughing!” Candace tries to quietly argue back.
“No, you’re not!” Grace states loudly back to Candace this time. I bite my lip to hold back my own laughter. I pause outside the bedroom door and quietly put my hand on the doorknob.
“Ready or not! I’m going to get you!” I yell, as I bust through the door. Grace shrieks and runs to the left, while Candace attempts to scramble on the floor to the right.
I grab Candace, while dashing across the room for Grace. We all fall onto the bed laughing. Stuffed bears and Barbie dolls go flying everywhere as we roll around on the bed, their little legs and arms flailing around. The girls struggle to get away while I tickle them as best I can, considering all the squirming they’re doing.
“Stop! Stop! I’m going to pee my pants, Uncle Jacob!” Grace shouts breathlessly and pulls on my hand. And that right there is my cue to stop what I’m doing. I so do not need to take a bath in urine.
Grace runs out into the hall and slams the bathroom door behind her. Candace leans into me and
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