Hot Zone by Sandy Holden

abruptly, as if he had been about to say more. I didn’t press him. As he realized I was now back to what could be called normal, he stood back up and put out his hand. I took it and let him pull me to my feet. I wondered about him. He had fit himself in with us as if he’d always been here. Good old Tucker. But what did he think of this? If he’d put his arms around me in the old days, I would have worried about giving “signals” and then wondered if he was giving “signals” or if I wanted to cross that line of friendship—the whole attraction thing. I did like Tucker, but it wasn’t sexual, I didn’t think. Maybe attraction just couldn’t happen when so much else was going on.
    He said, “You just take it easy and keep getting better. We’ll all take care of Phil, and the rest we’ll just manage as it comes.” He dropped my hand and smiled a little crookedly at me. I had never been much of a believer in God, but I had to admit that things would have been completely different if Tucker hadn’t stopped that day. I nodded back at him, and we both peeked out at Phil. Meri was feeding her slowly, and Phil was eating a little. But she was still staring blankly, and tears still ran silently down her cheeks.

Chapter 4: I go shopping and tell a story
    I got through the night. I felt shell-shocked and moved about like I was in a dream. A thought would come to me, and I would try to think about it, but before I could examine it, I would be distracted by another thought. I slept, even though that’s pretty much all I’d been doing for days. My headache was still there, but it seemed to be going away slowly, and most of the time I barely noticed it.
    I was getting more and more anxious as time went by and Mom and Dad didn’t call. Finally Tucker volunteered to drive up the way they had gone to my aunt’s cabin and look for them. I told him no, but I was seriously considering it. I wanted to go myself but knew that neither Tucker nor Meri would let me go unless I grabbed the gun and forced the issue. And that was seriously not my style.
    I kept thinking that Mom would call any minute. I had heard from my older brother who lived in Oregon, probably at the behest of his wife, and had assured him I was fine. Dick and I didn’t really get along that well. He was a lot older than I was, and had such a completely different outlook on life I felt like we spoke different languages. He dutifully (again, Tabitha probably reminded him if she didn’t actually dial the phone and put it in his hand) called Mom and Dad about twice a month. Mom would tell me he called, and her mouth would get sort of tight. This meant he had said something that had made her angry or hurt her feelings. Good old Dick. See Dick run. See Dick talk about how much money he makes. See Dick buy another Porsche on credit. See me not be impressed.
    I shouldn’t be such a snot, I suppose. He called, after all. As a matter of fact, whenever my cell service was working (it had become a little unreliable—remember those commercials, “can you hear me now?” Well, it had become, “is it working now?”) Dick had called and so had some other relatives who thought me rather interesting since I was in the “Hot Zone” (that phrase was courtesy of ABC News). They wouldn’t have given me the time of day otherwise, but whatever. Everyone was genuinely concerned about Mom and Dad. No one had heard from either of them. I was starting to wonder if they had died. The problem was that every time I went down that road of possibility, my mind took a detour or made a quick u-turn. It just wouldn’t go there.
    There was a website where you could type in the name of the person you were looking for, and it would send you a message if the person was on the “confirmed deceased” list, the “reported deceased” list or the “confirmed alive” list. I sat down at the computer and tried to fill out the little form, but always “escaped” out before I completed it