How to Lose Your Virginity ...And How Not To by Shawn Wickens Page B
Authors: Shawn Wickens
Tags: Humor, Sex, Health; Fitness & Dieting, Self-Help, Humor & Entertainment, Love; Sex & Marriage, Self-Help & Psychology
Ads: Link
is alluded to in a story in this chapter
I was struck by the number of people who told me that the first time doesn't matter. That it was something you got through and you just moved on. Is this an attitude people are born with? Is it acquired from their environment? Or is it a viewpoint that develops in hindsight as a response to their own disappointing loss of virginity experience?
A recent study by Dana Haynie and Stacy Armour from Ohio State that appears in the March 2008 issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence shows that the average age teenagers in the United States lose their virginity is 16, below the age of consent for most states. Most parents, I’m certain, would agree that men and women begin having sex much younger than they should. And perhaps this blasé, "it’s no big deal", stance that people hold is a result of beginning too young, not looking before you leap, doing it before you are ready - type of experiences.
And there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeing virginity as something to get over with. You have to have that initial time to get the subsequent times which usually get increasingly enjoyable and fulfilling as time goes on. But if one could choose, who wouldn’t rather have a fond memory? The following people, on the other hand, got it over with and moved on.
A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF "WILL & GRACE"
Heather, 34
I was in college and I had been holding out for so long so that’s why I had to do it with a gay guy. It’s not like I set out to have sex with a gay guy, but I was in the theatre department and gay guys were all over the place. I was just so sick of being a virgin. I was 19 and everyone else was laid by then so it was time to get it done.
Me and the gay guy were good friends and I don’t know how far he had gone with other guys but we were both hetero-virgins. I didn’t want to deal with the high expectations of losing it to a boyfriend and having it suck. It’s the first time so it’s going to be awkward anyway and it’s not going to be good no matter who you’re with.
He was a virgin, I was a virgin. It was the middle of the day and we were in my dorm room so we were like, "Hey, let’s do it." It was more hilarious than anything else. We were laughing our asses off, especially because he was gay. But there was no equipment problem so maybe he was bi.
A year later we ended up living together. I was on him a bit, I wanted to do it again but he was like, "No." By then he was full-fledged gay. Maybe his experimental days were over, or maybe our relationship was weird by the time we lived together. Who knows? I’ve yet to meet anyone else who’s had that experience. In fact I just told someone about it the other day and she was like, "Why didn’t you do it with your high school boyfriend?" I didn’t really have a high school boyfriend.
DON’T BE SUCH A PUSSY
Lucia, 22
I’m from Mill’s Landing, North Carolina. My boyfriend drove me home from school and my mother was at work so he kept pressuring me and pressuring me to do it. I didn’t want to but, whatever. We did it in my mom’s bed because she was away and because there wasn’t enough room in my twin bed.
I was disappointed with it and after we were done he cried because he felt bad for making me do something I didn’t want to do. I told him to get the hell out and come back when he could be a man. Sure I didn’t want to have sex, but I wasn’t going to cry about it.
***
He wanted to tittie-fuck, which I had no idea what that was but after he explained it I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. But we did it and it was not enjoyable and the whole time it was happening I was thinking, "This sucks, but I can’t wait to talk about it." So I just told him, "Why don’t you just put it inside of me?"
Taren, 23
New York, NY
***
SHE WASN’T A BASKETBALL FAN, BUT SHE WAS A FAN OF ME
Lance, 31
The Knicks were playing The Heat in the 1997 playoffs. It’s a best of seven game series, the first team to win
I was struck by the number of people who told me that the first time doesn't matter. That it was something you got through and you just moved on. Is this an attitude people are born with? Is it acquired from their environment? Or is it a viewpoint that develops in hindsight as a response to their own disappointing loss of virginity experience?
A recent study by Dana Haynie and Stacy Armour from Ohio State that appears in the March 2008 issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence shows that the average age teenagers in the United States lose their virginity is 16, below the age of consent for most states. Most parents, I’m certain, would agree that men and women begin having sex much younger than they should. And perhaps this blasé, "it’s no big deal", stance that people hold is a result of beginning too young, not looking before you leap, doing it before you are ready - type of experiences.
And there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeing virginity as something to get over with. You have to have that initial time to get the subsequent times which usually get increasingly enjoyable and fulfilling as time goes on. But if one could choose, who wouldn’t rather have a fond memory? The following people, on the other hand, got it over with and moved on.
A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE OF "WILL & GRACE"
Heather, 34
I was in college and I had been holding out for so long so that’s why I had to do it with a gay guy. It’s not like I set out to have sex with a gay guy, but I was in the theatre department and gay guys were all over the place. I was just so sick of being a virgin. I was 19 and everyone else was laid by then so it was time to get it done.
Me and the gay guy were good friends and I don’t know how far he had gone with other guys but we were both hetero-virgins. I didn’t want to deal with the high expectations of losing it to a boyfriend and having it suck. It’s the first time so it’s going to be awkward anyway and it’s not going to be good no matter who you’re with.
He was a virgin, I was a virgin. It was the middle of the day and we were in my dorm room so we were like, "Hey, let’s do it." It was more hilarious than anything else. We were laughing our asses off, especially because he was gay. But there was no equipment problem so maybe he was bi.
A year later we ended up living together. I was on him a bit, I wanted to do it again but he was like, "No." By then he was full-fledged gay. Maybe his experimental days were over, or maybe our relationship was weird by the time we lived together. Who knows? I’ve yet to meet anyone else who’s had that experience. In fact I just told someone about it the other day and she was like, "Why didn’t you do it with your high school boyfriend?" I didn’t really have a high school boyfriend.
DON’T BE SUCH A PUSSY
Lucia, 22
I’m from Mill’s Landing, North Carolina. My boyfriend drove me home from school and my mother was at work so he kept pressuring me and pressuring me to do it. I didn’t want to but, whatever. We did it in my mom’s bed because she was away and because there wasn’t enough room in my twin bed.
I was disappointed with it and after we were done he cried because he felt bad for making me do something I didn’t want to do. I told him to get the hell out and come back when he could be a man. Sure I didn’t want to have sex, but I wasn’t going to cry about it.
***
He wanted to tittie-fuck, which I had no idea what that was but after he explained it I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. But we did it and it was not enjoyable and the whole time it was happening I was thinking, "This sucks, but I can’t wait to talk about it." So I just told him, "Why don’t you just put it inside of me?"
Taren, 23
New York, NY
***
SHE WASN’T A BASKETBALL FAN, BUT SHE WAS A FAN OF ME
Lance, 31
The Knicks were playing The Heat in the 1997 playoffs. It’s a best of seven game series, the first team to win
Similar Books
