you? Did your phone die?”
“Ugh, no I left it at home.” I leaned back on the bed against the headboard, taking meditative breaths to keep from weeping into the phone.
“Oh, alright. What’s going on? How are you doing?”
Loaded question. “I don’t know,” I whispered.
Erin could finally hear the distress in my voice. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Cal and I are fighting,” I said carefully. “I don’t mean to bother you with this, but I wanted to call.”
“Liv, what are you talking about? What happened?”
“Well, I’m not at the house. I left for the night. There are just some things I need to figure out and I had to get out of the house, but Cal doesn’t know where I am.”
“He doesn’t know where you are? What the hell happened?” Erin asked more firmly.
“I really don’t want to worry you. I’m calling because he may come by your house looking for me or he might call. If he calls, don’t answer it, please. If he comes by the house, just call this number and I’ll call him for you. Please, he’s going to be upset and I don’t want him to take it out on you or say something he wouldn’t normally, when he’s got a level head.”
“You’re kind of scaring me here. Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I don’t want to get into it. I’m so exhausted from it and it’s not your problem. I don’t want to bother you with my marital issues. Everything is going to be okay. I just need some time to myself.”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m a little freaked out. I just wish you’d tell me. Despite what you just said, do you want me to come stay with you? We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. We can just lounge around together, order room service, order some movies.”
“No. I just want to be alone. Please, just call me if he tries to reach out to you and I’ll call him.”
“Where are you at?”
“I’m at the Omni downtown. Don’t tell him where I am. I don’t want to make a scene here.”
“You know, none of what you’re saying is comforting me. Did you catch him cheating or something? You can tell me, just to ease my mind.”
I scoffed quietly. “Please, honestly, I didn’t call to talk about this fight. There’s a reason why I’m not telling you. It’s,” I paused. I didn’t even know how to dumb it down. “It’s between Callem and me. Please respect that and know I wouldn’t put myself in a dangerous or volatile situation. I’m safe. Cal would never hurt me, you know that. I just need some time.”
Erin was quiet for a moment, though I could hear her scoffing lightly on the other end. “Alright. Just promise me you’ll call if things get out of hand or if you decide you want me there with you. Seriously.”
“Alright, I promise. Remember, don’t talk to Callem. Just call this number back if he tries to find me through you. Ask for room 831. I’ll be here all night. I’ll call you tomorrow if I don’t talk to you later.”
“Alright. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I hung up the phone just as the sobs started to spew out of me. This would be the end of us. This secret; this lie would destroy everything we had together. It will never be the same. As badly as I had to walk away from him, I didn’t want to. Did that make me selfish or naive, maybe a little of both?
I knew what I had to do. I knew what needed to be done and I dreaded it with all my might. Why did he do this to me? Look what he’s made me do. How could I hate someone so much that I was so deeply in love with? I hated myself for it more than I hated him. No matter how awful the offense, you can’t erase the feelings and the memories you’ve held so close to your heart.
My stomach flip-flopped. I could just imagine him at home, looking for me, wondering
“Ugh, no I left it at home.” I leaned back on the bed against the headboard, taking meditative breaths to keep from weeping into the phone.
“Oh, alright. What’s going on? How are you doing?”
Loaded question. “I don’t know,” I whispered.
Erin could finally hear the distress in my voice. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Cal and I are fighting,” I said carefully. “I don’t mean to bother you with this, but I wanted to call.”
“Liv, what are you talking about? What happened?”
“Well, I’m not at the house. I left for the night. There are just some things I need to figure out and I had to get out of the house, but Cal doesn’t know where I am.”
“He doesn’t know where you are? What the hell happened?” Erin asked more firmly.
“I really don’t want to worry you. I’m calling because he may come by your house looking for me or he might call. If he calls, don’t answer it, please. If he comes by the house, just call this number and I’ll call him for you. Please, he’s going to be upset and I don’t want him to take it out on you or say something he wouldn’t normally, when he’s got a level head.”
“You’re kind of scaring me here. Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I don’t want to get into it. I’m so exhausted from it and it’s not your problem. I don’t want to bother you with my marital issues. Everything is going to be okay. I just need some time to myself.”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m a little freaked out. I just wish you’d tell me. Despite what you just said, do you want me to come stay with you? We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. We can just lounge around together, order room service, order some movies.”
“No. I just want to be alone. Please, just call me if he tries to reach out to you and I’ll call him.”
“Where are you at?”
“I’m at the Omni downtown. Don’t tell him where I am. I don’t want to make a scene here.”
“You know, none of what you’re saying is comforting me. Did you catch him cheating or something? You can tell me, just to ease my mind.”
I scoffed quietly. “Please, honestly, I didn’t call to talk about this fight. There’s a reason why I’m not telling you. It’s,” I paused. I didn’t even know how to dumb it down. “It’s between Callem and me. Please respect that and know I wouldn’t put myself in a dangerous or volatile situation. I’m safe. Cal would never hurt me, you know that. I just need some time.”
Erin was quiet for a moment, though I could hear her scoffing lightly on the other end. “Alright. Just promise me you’ll call if things get out of hand or if you decide you want me there with you. Seriously.”
“Alright, I promise. Remember, don’t talk to Callem. Just call this number back if he tries to find me through you. Ask for room 831. I’ll be here all night. I’ll call you tomorrow if I don’t talk to you later.”
“Alright. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I hung up the phone just as the sobs started to spew out of me. This would be the end of us. This secret; this lie would destroy everything we had together. It will never be the same. As badly as I had to walk away from him, I didn’t want to. Did that make me selfish or naive, maybe a little of both?
I knew what I had to do. I knew what needed to be done and I dreaded it with all my might. Why did he do this to me? Look what he’s made me do. How could I hate someone so much that I was so deeply in love with? I hated myself for it more than I hated him. No matter how awful the offense, you can’t erase the feelings and the memories you’ve held so close to your heart.
My stomach flip-flopped. I could just imagine him at home, looking for me, wondering
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