itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.’
‘I am not sewing that,’ I said, through clenched teeth.
I guess it was lucky for me that she decided not to make a fight out of it. Instead, she snapped, ‘Very well. Then you will go to the discipline room tomorrow and commit the chapter to memory.’
It was the worst day I’d spent in there. There was too much time to worry about Mum. I found it hard to breathe in that little room and I longed for windows so I could search for my reflection.
They took me to buy my uniform on a Thursday. Aunt Naomi told me we’d all be going into town for the day. ‘Even Uncle Caleb?’ I asked.
‘All of us,’ she nodded. ‘Now go and wake the children, Esther.’
Abraham and Luke were already awake and playing some game. ‘Time to get dressed,’ I said and went to get the girls up.
‘Today is our town day!’ Rachel sprang up andreached for her clothes.
‘Yeah, well count me out,’ I said, handing Maggie her blouse.
‘But you have to come,’ Rebecca said. ‘We all go. All of us, always.’
‘Look, Bex-baby — there is no way I’m going to walk into town dressed like this.’ There was no way I’d go anywhere I didn’t have to with her parents either, but I didn’t tell her that.
They all stopped what they were doing and stared at me. ‘You must call me Rebecca,’ she said at last.
Rachel said, ‘You will have to come, Esther. If you refuse then Father will make us all pray for you.’
I grabbed Maggie’s pillow and thumped the wall with it. God, I just love this discipline system. Do something wrong and the whole family gets punished. ‘Too bad,’ I said, swapping the pillow for the hairbrush. ‘You can all suffer for ten minutes on your knees and then you can toddle off to town without me.’ I brushed out Maggie’s hair.
‘You do not understand,’ Rebecca said, her voice urgent. ‘If you refuse to go, we will all have to pray about it until you agree to go. And then you will have to spend tomorrow in the discipline room.’
I said nothing and they all stopped what they were doing and stared at me, Maggie looking like she was having trouble breathing.
Bloody bloody hell. ‘All right! I’ll come. It’ll kill me, but I’ll come.’
All nine of us climbed into the big brown vanUncle Caleb had arrived home in the night before.
‘How many cars has this family got?’ I asked Daniel in the most accusing sort of voice I could dredge up.
He smiled — Daniel never laughed — and said, ‘My father owns a car rental business. We do not have a car of our own, we just use one of the business cars.’ All my arguments about living modestly while you owned a dozen cars went flat.
‘Aunt Naomi never drives,’ I said.
‘She cannot. The women never do. It is a man’s job.’
This family! This faith! Trust the men to grab the fun jobs.
All the way into town I stared out the window, biting my lips, determined not to cry, especially not in front of them. We got out of the van. If I live a million years nothing, but nothing, will ever be as embarrassing as walking through town with the whole bloody family and all of us wearing clothes from a hundred years ago.
If I met anyone I knew, I’d die. No, I wouldn’t. I’d rush up to them and beg them to take me home with them. People looked at us. Some laughed, some smiled. A few looked pitying. I wanted to shrivel up and turn into a blob on the footpath.
We marched into a shoe shop. They bought black lace-up shoes for all the kids starting at Daniel and going all the way down to Maggie. The only thing that surprised me was they didn’t buy themfor the baby that hadn’t been born yet.
I saw Maggie gazing longingly at a pretty pair of blue sandals that had little red squirrels painted on them. ‘Uncle Caleb,’ I said trying for a low and Godly voice, ‘could Magdalene try on those sandals? They would be most suitable for this weather.’
In his grey voice
‘I am not sewing that,’ I said, through clenched teeth.
I guess it was lucky for me that she decided not to make a fight out of it. Instead, she snapped, ‘Very well. Then you will go to the discipline room tomorrow and commit the chapter to memory.’
It was the worst day I’d spent in there. There was too much time to worry about Mum. I found it hard to breathe in that little room and I longed for windows so I could search for my reflection.
They took me to buy my uniform on a Thursday. Aunt Naomi told me we’d all be going into town for the day. ‘Even Uncle Caleb?’ I asked.
‘All of us,’ she nodded. ‘Now go and wake the children, Esther.’
Abraham and Luke were already awake and playing some game. ‘Time to get dressed,’ I said and went to get the girls up.
‘Today is our town day!’ Rachel sprang up andreached for her clothes.
‘Yeah, well count me out,’ I said, handing Maggie her blouse.
‘But you have to come,’ Rebecca said. ‘We all go. All of us, always.’
‘Look, Bex-baby — there is no way I’m going to walk into town dressed like this.’ There was no way I’d go anywhere I didn’t have to with her parents either, but I didn’t tell her that.
They all stopped what they were doing and stared at me. ‘You must call me Rebecca,’ she said at last.
Rachel said, ‘You will have to come, Esther. If you refuse then Father will make us all pray for you.’
I grabbed Maggie’s pillow and thumped the wall with it. God, I just love this discipline system. Do something wrong and the whole family gets punished. ‘Too bad,’ I said, swapping the pillow for the hairbrush. ‘You can all suffer for ten minutes on your knees and then you can toddle off to town without me.’ I brushed out Maggie’s hair.
‘You do not understand,’ Rebecca said, her voice urgent. ‘If you refuse to go, we will all have to pray about it until you agree to go. And then you will have to spend tomorrow in the discipline room.’
I said nothing and they all stopped what they were doing and stared at me, Maggie looking like she was having trouble breathing.
Bloody bloody hell. ‘All right! I’ll come. It’ll kill me, but I’ll come.’
All nine of us climbed into the big brown vanUncle Caleb had arrived home in the night before.
‘How many cars has this family got?’ I asked Daniel in the most accusing sort of voice I could dredge up.
He smiled — Daniel never laughed — and said, ‘My father owns a car rental business. We do not have a car of our own, we just use one of the business cars.’ All my arguments about living modestly while you owned a dozen cars went flat.
‘Aunt Naomi never drives,’ I said.
‘She cannot. The women never do. It is a man’s job.’
This family! This faith! Trust the men to grab the fun jobs.
All the way into town I stared out the window, biting my lips, determined not to cry, especially not in front of them. We got out of the van. If I live a million years nothing, but nothing, will ever be as embarrassing as walking through town with the whole bloody family and all of us wearing clothes from a hundred years ago.
If I met anyone I knew, I’d die. No, I wouldn’t. I’d rush up to them and beg them to take me home with them. People looked at us. Some laughed, some smiled. A few looked pitying. I wanted to shrivel up and turn into a blob on the footpath.
We marched into a shoe shop. They bought black lace-up shoes for all the kids starting at Daniel and going all the way down to Maggie. The only thing that surprised me was they didn’t buy themfor the baby that hadn’t been born yet.
I saw Maggie gazing longingly at a pretty pair of blue sandals that had little red squirrels painted on them. ‘Uncle Caleb,’ I said trying for a low and Godly voice, ‘could Magdalene try on those sandals? They would be most suitable for this weather.’
In his grey voice
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