stamp,’ he said. ‘It has been franked but I cannot read that or the postmark.’ He frowned over it. ‘It might be a Z on the postmark, but the rest is too smudged to read.’
‘What countries start with Z?’ I knew so little about Africa.
‘Zaire, Zambia, Zimbabwe.’ Daniel stood up, handing the letter back to me. ‘Wait. She has written something here and then crossed it out.’
Together, we stared at the crossed-out writing. ‘I can make out sorry ,’ I said at last.
‘And I think the rest is I can’t think why I and that is it.’ Daniel looked at me. ‘She is sorry about something.’
I felt light and almost happy. ‘She’s sorry she ran off and left me with …’ I stopped. I couldn’t very well say ‘the mad relations’ in front of him.
‘I have been wondering why she did,’ Daniel said, taking Maggie’s hand and starting to walk. ‘It has never happened before that a dissident has repented and commended a child not brought up in the Rule to the care of the Fellowship.’
‘Great,’ I said. ‘I would have to be the first.’ And probably the last since I was determined not to be a success story from their point of view.
He smiled. ‘Come on. We had better get back.It will be the discipline room for you again tomorrow, I am afraid.’
I groaned. ‘I’ll leave you another message under your pillow,’ I promised Maggie.
We walked home, swinging her between us. Just before we got to the house, we stopped and walked like good little Pilgrims and I put on the scarf they’d brought with them.
Daniel was right about the discipline room. I wrote Maggie her message and the Os had their eyes shut and their mouths open in big yawns.
I had to learn psalm 27. I learned it in the morning, shouting out, ‘When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.’
One of the twins walked past and I heard her giggle.
Aunt Naomi brought me my three pieces of bread at lunch time. ‘The children and I are going to the Circle of Fellowship this afternoon.’ She put the tray down. ‘You would have enjoyed it, Esther. You would have been able to meet the two girls who will be going to school with you.’
School! Wow and yippee! Escape.
I heard them all leave the house. They went with Uncle Caleb and Daniel after lunch. I listened until I couldn’t hear the car any longer. They had to be brain-dead if they thought I’d stay in the discipline room all afternoon.
The house was quiet when I tip-toed into UncleCaleb’s study. I could hear cicadas screeching outside.
I stood for a long time, looking at the desk, the filing cabinet and shelves. Somewhere in here there might be Mum’s address. There might be the letter she had written to Uncle Caleb. I shook my head crossly. Did I want to find out, or not? I’d never get a chance like this again. I started searching. I opened the top right-hand drawer of the desk. A religious book and religious papers. The second drawer. Letters. I grabbed them, skimmed the top one. The Fellowship wishes to commend your efforts in the great experiment. We have prayed and it has come to us that this is a Godly test case, and that if it is successful then we will bend our efforts to return others to the Fellowship of The Children of the Faith. We pray for you in your travail and ask you to endure the Godlessness of the child in the meantime. Know that the Fellowship remembers you and yours each day in prayer .
Now what the hell did that mean? I looked at the date on the postmark. The day before yesterday. Were they talking about me? Was I the child? And if so, then what was the experiment? Return others to the Fellowship? I stared at the words, concentrating so hard that I didn’t hear the sound of the car. But I did hear the footsteps. I raised my head, my breathing suspended. No! Let me be imagining it!
Then the door opened behind me.
Oh God, I was dead! Better for me if I was — standing there with the
‘What countries start with Z?’ I knew so little about Africa.
‘Zaire, Zambia, Zimbabwe.’ Daniel stood up, handing the letter back to me. ‘Wait. She has written something here and then crossed it out.’
Together, we stared at the crossed-out writing. ‘I can make out sorry ,’ I said at last.
‘And I think the rest is I can’t think why I and that is it.’ Daniel looked at me. ‘She is sorry about something.’
I felt light and almost happy. ‘She’s sorry she ran off and left me with …’ I stopped. I couldn’t very well say ‘the mad relations’ in front of him.
‘I have been wondering why she did,’ Daniel said, taking Maggie’s hand and starting to walk. ‘It has never happened before that a dissident has repented and commended a child not brought up in the Rule to the care of the Fellowship.’
‘Great,’ I said. ‘I would have to be the first.’ And probably the last since I was determined not to be a success story from their point of view.
He smiled. ‘Come on. We had better get back.It will be the discipline room for you again tomorrow, I am afraid.’
I groaned. ‘I’ll leave you another message under your pillow,’ I promised Maggie.
We walked home, swinging her between us. Just before we got to the house, we stopped and walked like good little Pilgrims and I put on the scarf they’d brought with them.
Daniel was right about the discipline room. I wrote Maggie her message and the Os had their eyes shut and their mouths open in big yawns.
I had to learn psalm 27. I learned it in the morning, shouting out, ‘When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.’
One of the twins walked past and I heard her giggle.
Aunt Naomi brought me my three pieces of bread at lunch time. ‘The children and I are going to the Circle of Fellowship this afternoon.’ She put the tray down. ‘You would have enjoyed it, Esther. You would have been able to meet the two girls who will be going to school with you.’
School! Wow and yippee! Escape.
I heard them all leave the house. They went with Uncle Caleb and Daniel after lunch. I listened until I couldn’t hear the car any longer. They had to be brain-dead if they thought I’d stay in the discipline room all afternoon.
The house was quiet when I tip-toed into UncleCaleb’s study. I could hear cicadas screeching outside.
I stood for a long time, looking at the desk, the filing cabinet and shelves. Somewhere in here there might be Mum’s address. There might be the letter she had written to Uncle Caleb. I shook my head crossly. Did I want to find out, or not? I’d never get a chance like this again. I started searching. I opened the top right-hand drawer of the desk. A religious book and religious papers. The second drawer. Letters. I grabbed them, skimmed the top one. The Fellowship wishes to commend your efforts in the great experiment. We have prayed and it has come to us that this is a Godly test case, and that if it is successful then we will bend our efforts to return others to the Fellowship of The Children of the Faith. We pray for you in your travail and ask you to endure the Godlessness of the child in the meantime. Know that the Fellowship remembers you and yours each day in prayer .
Now what the hell did that mean? I looked at the date on the postmark. The day before yesterday. Were they talking about me? Was I the child? And if so, then what was the experiment? Return others to the Fellowship? I stared at the words, concentrating so hard that I didn’t hear the sound of the car. But I did hear the footsteps. I raised my head, my breathing suspended. No! Let me be imagining it!
Then the door opened behind me.
Oh God, I was dead! Better for me if I was — standing there with the
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