I'm Your Santa by Dianne Castell

weekend, you’ve been so guarded around me, it’s like being with a stranger. I missed the old Beth.”
    After pushing out of her chair, she put her arms around her middle and paced across the small room. She kept her back to him. “I was trying to bring the old Beth back by pretending it hadn’t happened, and there you go, bringing it up again.”
    Levi’s temper went up a notch. “I won’t let you pretend, so forget that.”
    â€œRight.” Taking Levi by surprise, Beth spun around and blasted him. “You won’t let me have any space. You won’t let me deal with the changes.” She punctuated each word with another stomp closer. “And now I’m not allowed to pretend, either? Well, newsflash, Masterson. You don’t control me. I’ll pretend all I want to!” She ended that challenge on a high note.
    Levi, too, left his seat. In a metered pace, he finished closing the distance between them. “You’ve got one hell of an imagination, Beth. I know because I benefited from it for a whole weekend and a day.”
    She gasped.
    â€œBut even your imagination isn’t good enough to pretend nothing has ever happened between us. It’s there, and we both remember it.”
    â€œYou…” She seethed, but apparently she couldn’t think of anything to say. With visible effort, she gathered herself. One deep breath, then another.
    Fascinated, Levi watched her. Her behavior even sparked a memory, one that amused him and left him a little more controlled, too.
    He and Beth had a history; he could build on that.
    Little by little, Beth’s tensed muscles relaxed and she even smiled. Sarcastically. “I’m done talking to you, Levi.”
    Even her acerbic smiles looked beautiful to him. “Is that right?”
    â€œYes. I’m going to take my shower and go to bed.” With that, she grabbed up her overnight case and stormed toward the bathroom. “I’d prefer it if you did the same.”
    â€œWith you?”
    She almost tripped. “No.” Spine stiff, she took a few more breaths. “You may use the shower when I’m done.”
    â€œThanks. I showered right before I found out that you’d skipped town. I’ll just clean up our mess and go to bed.” Maybe in bed he’d have power over his libido. Because right now, he could feel himself getting hard again.
    Maybe it was the thought of Beth naked, under the water.
    Maybe it was just being with her.
    Whatever the case might be, he needed to be a calm, rational man with her, not a lust-craved maniac with a perpetual boner.
    â€œSuit yourself,” Beth said, right before she closed the bathroom door.
    Right. If he did that, they’d both be on the bed, naked and entwined right now. Better that he go with a plan.
    By the time Beth came out of the bathroom, Levi was in the bed, under the covers, and ready to tackle her stubbornness.
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    Other than the bathroom light slanting across the darkened floor, Beth couldn’t see a thing. “Levi?”
    â€œCareful, honey. Your bed is all ready for you. Do you need me to turn on a lamp?”
    â€œNo.” Feeling like a prude, she’d put on her heavy flannel pajamas, the ones that were too big but comfy, the ones that hid every speck of skin and any curves she might possess. “I’m fine, thank you.”
    â€œDo you feel better now after your long shower.”
    Levi’s emphasis couldn’t be missed. But then, she had lingered in the shower for a good hour, thinking over everything the other women had said. Though they’d reassured her on many levels, it was still unsettling how Levi affected her so easily. It seemed that whenever she was alone with him, she wanted to rape him, harangue him, or flee him.
    Why couldn’t she just be herself?
    For a little while there, after she’d first come into the room, the old familiar companionship returned.