she OK now?’
‘I was too busy putting your children to bed and learning their routine off by heart while you were downing beers. You should have taken Fiona out for dinner, and pampered her and told her how wonderful she is. She’s got cancer, Mark, in case you forgot while you were choosing between Heineken and Budweiser.’
‘I am well aware of Fiona’s condition. I really don’t think someone who has been back all of five minutes is in any position to tell me about my wife.’
‘I didn’t give everything up to come back here and look after your family so that you can go out and get pissed whenever you feel like it. I thought you were supposed to be busy preparing some world-altering paper,’ I hissed, venting my general frustration on him.
‘Which was exactly what I was talking to the dean about. Really, Kate, there’s no need to turn into a fishwife. I hope you won’t be talking like that in front of the boys. If I hear them cursing I’ll know who to blame.’
‘Well, Mark, that makes two of us, because I hold you responsible for my sister’s happiness and so far you’re doing a pretty crummy job. You might want to remember the “in sickness and in health” vow you made when you married her. Now, get in there and comfort her,’ I said, and stormed off before he could respond.
It was only when I was half-way down the road that I realized I had forgotten to call a taxi. It had started to rain so I called Derek to come and pick me up.
‘I don’t drive.’
‘I thought Dad got you lessons for Christmas.’
‘Yeah, but I flogged them to one of the chicks in work for cash to buy some new equipment.’
‘Jesus, Derek, it’s bucketing down. Is Dad there?’
‘Nope.’
‘Bollox!’ I roared, now at the end of my tether.
‘Tone it down a million. Gonzo’s here. He’s just offered to pick you up.’
I really didn’t feel like being groped all the way home, but the rain was beating down and I was damned if I’d go back and ask Mark for a lift. ‘OK. Tell him to hurry up.’
Five minutes later Gonzo came hurtling up the road.
I squeezed my soaking frame into his Mini.
‘Oh, yes – I love the wet look,’ he said, and placed a hand on my thigh.
‘Gonzo, if you value your life, you’ll keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the steering-wheel. I’m cold, wet and in a very bad mood,’ I said, putting his hand back.
‘Feel free to rid yourself of the wet clothes,’ he said, with a grin.
I lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. What the hell was I doing here?
9
When I had finally extricated myself from Gonzo’s lunges, I went in and poured myself a glass of wine to steady my nerves. Derek was sprawled on the couch watching MTV’s top ten rappers of all time and shouting along to the lyrics. I closed the kitchen door, sat at the table, lit a cigarette and opened my folder. Homework time.
Fiona’s timetable was detailed to say the least. When I had ploughed through all the stimulating games I was supposed to play with the boys – including some maths ones that I wasn’t sure I was up to – I found a handwritten note.
Kate, thanks for coming home. It means a lot to me. I know how hard it was for you and I really appreciate it. I’m only holding it together by a thread, so I can’t say this to you face to face. Anyway, you know me: I’ve always been hopeless about showing my emotions. I know the boys will enjoy spending time with you, but please follow the routine. I want their lives to continue as normal. I don’t want them to know how sick I am. I don’t want them to be scared. I don’t want their childhoods to be snatched away like ours was. See you tomorrow and thanks again. Fiona
This was Fiona all over. She had a heart of gold and always believed that actions spoke louder than words. She’d show you she loved you by doing things for you. Since Mum died, she had found it hard to show her emotions, probably because she had to suppress her grief while comforting
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