door.
Looking
out, I saw no walls and no rug and no ceiling, only lawn and flowers,
and above that a wide black sky with stars, which all of that made me
a little dizzy, there being no glass between me and it.
Then
Slippen very gently pushed me Out.
And I
don't know, it is one thing to look out a window, but when you are
Out, actually Out, that is something very powerful, and how
embarrassing was that, because I could not help it, I went down flat
on my gut, checking out those flowers, and the feeling of the one I
chose was like the silk on that Hermès jacket I could never
seem to get Reserved because Vance was always hogging it, except the
flower was even better, it being very smooth and built in like
layers? With the outside layer being yellow, and inside that a white
thing like a bell, and inside the white bell-like thing were fifteen
(I counted) smaller bell-like red things, and inside each red thing
was an even smaller orange two-dingly-thing combo.
Which
I was like, Dude, who thought this shit up? And though I knew very
well from Religion it was God, still I had never thought so high of
God as I did just then, seeing the kind of stuff He could do when He
put His or Her mind to it.
Also
amazing was, laying there on my gut, I was able to observe very
slowly some grass, on a blade basis! And what I found was, each blade
is its total own blade, they are not all exact copies as I had always
thought when looking at the Rustic Village Apartment lawn from the
much coveted window seat, no, each blade had a special design of
up-and-down lines on it, plus some blades were wider than others, and
some were yellow, with some even having little holes that I guessed
had been put there via bugs chewing them?
By now
as you know I am sometimes a kidder, with Humor always ranked by my
peers as one of my Principal Positives on my Yearly Evaluation, but
being totally serious? If I live one million years I will never
forget all the beautiful things I saw and experienced in that kickass
outside yard.
Isn't
it something? Slippen said. But look, stand up, here is something
even better.
And I
stood up, and here came this bland person in blue scrubs, which my
first thought was, Ouch, why not accentuate that killer bone
structure with some makeup, and also what is up with that dull flat
hair, did you never hear of Bumble & Bumble Plasma Volumizer?
And
then she said my name.
Not my
name of Randy but my real name of Jon.
Which
is how I first got the shock of going, Oh my God, this poor
washed-out gal is my Carolyn.
And
wow was her belly bigger!
Then
she touched my face very tender and said, The suspense of waiting
is over and this year's Taurus far exceeds expectations already high
in this humble farming community.
And I
was like, Carolyn?
And
she was like, The beauty of a reunion by the sea of this mother
and son will not soon again be parted and all one can say is amen and
open another bag of chips, which by spreading on a thin cream on the
face strips away the harsh effect of the destructive years.
Then
she hugged me, which is when I saw the gaping hole in her neck where
her gargadisk had formerly been.
But
tell the truth, even with DermaFilled ® neckhole and
nada makeup and huge baby belly, still she looked so pretty, it was
like someone had put a light inside her and switched it on.
But I
guess it is true what they say at LI 23005, life is full of ironic
surprises, where that lady in a bikini puts on sunscreen and then
there is this nuclear war and she takes a sip of her drink only she
has been like burned to a crisp, because all that time Out not one LI
had come up, as if my mind was stymied or holding its breath, but now
all of the sudden here came all these LIs of Flowers, due to I had
seen those real-life flowers, such as talking daisies for Polaroid
(LI 101119), such as that kid who drops a jar of applesauce but his
anal mom totally melts when he hands her a sunflower (LI 22365), such
as the big word PFIZER that as you
Looking
out, I saw no walls and no rug and no ceiling, only lawn and flowers,
and above that a wide black sky with stars, which all of that made me
a little dizzy, there being no glass between me and it.
Then
Slippen very gently pushed me Out.
And I
don't know, it is one thing to look out a window, but when you are
Out, actually Out, that is something very powerful, and how
embarrassing was that, because I could not help it, I went down flat
on my gut, checking out those flowers, and the feeling of the one I
chose was like the silk on that Hermès jacket I could never
seem to get Reserved because Vance was always hogging it, except the
flower was even better, it being very smooth and built in like
layers? With the outside layer being yellow, and inside that a white
thing like a bell, and inside the white bell-like thing were fifteen
(I counted) smaller bell-like red things, and inside each red thing
was an even smaller orange two-dingly-thing combo.
Which
I was like, Dude, who thought this shit up? And though I knew very
well from Religion it was God, still I had never thought so high of
God as I did just then, seeing the kind of stuff He could do when He
put His or Her mind to it.
Also
amazing was, laying there on my gut, I was able to observe very
slowly some grass, on a blade basis! And what I found was, each blade
is its total own blade, they are not all exact copies as I had always
thought when looking at the Rustic Village Apartment lawn from the
much coveted window seat, no, each blade had a special design of
up-and-down lines on it, plus some blades were wider than others, and
some were yellow, with some even having little holes that I guessed
had been put there via bugs chewing them?
By now
as you know I am sometimes a kidder, with Humor always ranked by my
peers as one of my Principal Positives on my Yearly Evaluation, but
being totally serious? If I live one million years I will never
forget all the beautiful things I saw and experienced in that kickass
outside yard.
Isn't
it something? Slippen said. But look, stand up, here is something
even better.
And I
stood up, and here came this bland person in blue scrubs, which my
first thought was, Ouch, why not accentuate that killer bone
structure with some makeup, and also what is up with that dull flat
hair, did you never hear of Bumble & Bumble Plasma Volumizer?
And
then she said my name.
Not my
name of Randy but my real name of Jon.
Which
is how I first got the shock of going, Oh my God, this poor
washed-out gal is my Carolyn.
And
wow was her belly bigger!
Then
she touched my face very tender and said, The suspense of waiting
is over and this year's Taurus far exceeds expectations already high
in this humble farming community.
And I
was like, Carolyn?
And
she was like, The beauty of a reunion by the sea of this mother
and son will not soon again be parted and all one can say is amen and
open another bag of chips, which by spreading on a thin cream on the
face strips away the harsh effect of the destructive years.
Then
she hugged me, which is when I saw the gaping hole in her neck where
her gargadisk had formerly been.
But
tell the truth, even with DermaFilled ® neckhole and
nada makeup and huge baby belly, still she looked so pretty, it was
like someone had put a light inside her and switched it on.
But I
guess it is true what they say at LI 23005, life is full of ironic
surprises, where that lady in a bikini puts on sunscreen and then
there is this nuclear war and she takes a sip of her drink only she
has been like burned to a crisp, because all that time Out not one LI
had come up, as if my mind was stymied or holding its breath, but now
all of the sudden here came all these LIs of Flowers, due to I had
seen those real-life flowers, such as talking daisies for Polaroid
(LI 101119), such as that kid who drops a jar of applesauce but his
anal mom totally melts when he hands her a sunflower (LI 22365), such
as the big word PFIZER that as you
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