HONEY .
“Hey, that’s not fair,” says Ben. “If we join as Honey they won’t know there’s a guy involved. How am I going to pick up women?”
“Be quiet,” says Geraldine, “too late now,” and so it is. We’ve joined the LA Café, or rather Honey has joined the LA Café.
“What do we do now?” I ask, after we’ve sat there for a couple of minutes staring mutely at the logo. “Why don’t we click on one of those boxes on the side?”
“Okay,” shrugs Geraldine, as she clicks on a picture of three heads together.
Who is Here , it says, as a box flashes up onscreen with a load of names.
Suzie 24
=^..^=Cat
Scott Shearer
Honey
p. 45 Ben the invincible
Todd
Luscious Lisa:-)
Ricky
Tim@London
Brad (Santa Monica)
Geraldine reads the names. “Well, what the hell’s Tim doing at the LA Café if he’s in London?” she says.
“Same thing as us, presumably,” laughs Ben.
“Let’s find out.” She clicks on his name and immediately another box appears on screen. The box is divided into two. The top half has Tim@London over the top, and the bottom, smaller half says Honey .
“Hello, fellow Londoner,” types Geraldine, the words appearing in the small box at the bottom. “What are you doing at the La Café?” She presses RETURN and the words disappear from the bottom box and reappear at the top, ready for Tim@London to read.
“Picking up luscious Californian babes, of course. Why are you here?”
“Just checking it out. Looking for some Californian hunks. Any recommendations?”
“Lol. I’ll have a think.”
Geraldine turns to Ben. “What does Lol mean?”
“Dunno,” he says. “Ask him.”
“What does Lol mean?”
“Laugh out loud. You’re new to this then?”
“First time. Any other tips?”
“Sure. :-) means happy. :-( means unhappy. ;-) means a wink, but also means wink. means grin, means smile, and ROFL means rolling on the floor laughing.”
“Thanks,” types Geraldine. “;-)”
“God, this is amazing.” I am truly flabbergasted. “It’s a whole other language. Can I have a go?”
Geraldine moves the mouse over to me and I move my p. 46 hands quickly over the keyboard. ”So, have you found your Californian dream babe yet?”
“Yup, talking to her at the moment. Suzie, she’s blond, she’s twenty-four, she’s a hardbody and a total babe.”
“How do you know she’s not lying to you?”
“She said she’ll e-mail me her photo.”
“I hope she’s not lying.”
“We’ll soon find out. So where in London are you?”
I turn to the other two and make a face. “We can’t say Kilburn, it’s too naff.”
“Say West Hampstead,” says Geraldine, “it’s the next best thing.”
So I do as she says and type in West Hampstead .
“Wowowow.” Tim@London types back. “I’m in Kilburn!!!”
The three of us start laughing.
“Hi, Honey! So how old are you?” suddenly flashes up on the screen from Todd, and I abandon my conversation with Tim@London.
I type twenty-seven, but Geraldine stops me just as I’m about to press RETURN , to send the words to him.
“Don’t say twenty-seven,” she urges. “You don’t have to tell the truth on this. Tell him you’re nineteen.” So I do, realizing she’s absolutely right. I don’t have to tell the truth on the Internet. About anything.
“Just the right age for me!!!”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-two.”
‘That’s a bit old for me isn’t it?”
“You know what they say about older men . . .”
“Yes. That they should know better than to chat up nineteen-year-olds.” I press RETURN then add a “ :-) ” to show that I ’ m joking. Don ’ t want to annoy him. Not yet, anyway.
“Ouch. Not fair.”
“Sorry. But do fill me in, what do they say about older men?”
“Older, wiser, more experienced. In every department.”
p. 47 Geraldine shrieks with laughter. “Go on,” says Ben, “see if you can get him talking dirty.”
“Oh yes?” I
“Hey, that’s not fair,” says Ben. “If we join as Honey they won’t know there’s a guy involved. How am I going to pick up women?”
“Be quiet,” says Geraldine, “too late now,” and so it is. We’ve joined the LA Café, or rather Honey has joined the LA Café.
“What do we do now?” I ask, after we’ve sat there for a couple of minutes staring mutely at the logo. “Why don’t we click on one of those boxes on the side?”
“Okay,” shrugs Geraldine, as she clicks on a picture of three heads together.
Who is Here , it says, as a box flashes up onscreen with a load of names.
Suzie 24
=^..^=Cat
Scott Shearer
Honey
p. 45 Ben the invincible
Todd
Luscious Lisa:-)
Ricky
Tim@London
Brad (Santa Monica)
Geraldine reads the names. “Well, what the hell’s Tim doing at the LA Café if he’s in London?” she says.
“Same thing as us, presumably,” laughs Ben.
“Let’s find out.” She clicks on his name and immediately another box appears on screen. The box is divided into two. The top half has Tim@London over the top, and the bottom, smaller half says Honey .
“Hello, fellow Londoner,” types Geraldine, the words appearing in the small box at the bottom. “What are you doing at the La Café?” She presses RETURN and the words disappear from the bottom box and reappear at the top, ready for Tim@London to read.
“Picking up luscious Californian babes, of course. Why are you here?”
“Just checking it out. Looking for some Californian hunks. Any recommendations?”
“Lol. I’ll have a think.”
Geraldine turns to Ben. “What does Lol mean?”
“Dunno,” he says. “Ask him.”
“What does Lol mean?”
“Laugh out loud. You’re new to this then?”
“First time. Any other tips?”
“Sure. :-) means happy. :-( means unhappy. ;-) means a wink, but also
“Thanks,” types Geraldine. “;-)”
“God, this is amazing.” I am truly flabbergasted. “It’s a whole other language. Can I have a go?”
Geraldine moves the mouse over to me and I move my p. 46 hands quickly over the keyboard. ”So, have you found your Californian dream babe yet?”
“Yup, talking to her at the moment. Suzie, she’s blond, she’s twenty-four, she’s a hardbody and a total babe.”
“How do you know she’s not lying to you?”
“She said she’ll e-mail me her photo.”
“I hope she’s not lying.”
“We’ll soon find out
I turn to the other two and make a face. “We can’t say Kilburn, it’s too naff.”
“Say West Hampstead,” says Geraldine, “it’s the next best thing.”
So I do as she says and type in West Hampstead .
“Wowowow.” Tim@London types back. “I’m in Kilburn!!!”
The three of us start laughing.
“Hi, Honey! So how old are you?” suddenly flashes up on the screen from Todd, and I abandon my conversation with Tim@London.
I type twenty-seven, but Geraldine stops me just as I’m about to press RETURN , to send the words to him.
“Don’t say twenty-seven,” she urges. “You don’t have to tell the truth on this. Tell him you’re nineteen.” So I do, realizing she’s absolutely right. I don’t have to tell the truth on the Internet. About anything.
“Just the right age for me!!!”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-two.”
‘That’s a bit old for me isn’t it?”
“You know what they say about older men . . .”
“Yes. That they should know better than to chat up nineteen-year-olds.” I press RETURN then add a “ :-) ” to show that I ’ m joking. Don ’ t want to annoy him. Not yet, anyway.
“Ouch. Not fair.”
“Sorry. But do fill me in, what do they say about older men?”
“Older, wiser, more experienced. In every department.”
p. 47 Geraldine shrieks with laughter. “Go on,” says Ben, “see if you can get him talking dirty.”
“Oh yes?” I
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