Joe Bruzzese by Parents' Guide to the Middle School Years Page A

meaningful conversation with an adult authority figure. Feel content in the knowledge that you had a hand in coaching your child to the point of initiating a conversation. That said, it’s perfectly acceptable to send the teacher an email or leave a short voicemail expressing your gratitude for the time he or she spent talking with your child. If there was anything notable in the conversation, you can bet the teacher will either call or respond to your email with the pertinent details.
Building a relationship with middle school teachers
    It can be hard for you to start standing on the sidelines as your child begins to assume responsibility for talking with teachers. Throughout elementary school, it’s usually the parents and teachers who communicate about a child’s academic progress. Teacher conferences typically include only parents. In those years, you may also have welcomed the occasional impromptu conversation with a teacher when you dropped your child off at school or when you volunteered as a classroom helper. But when your childstarts middle school, although you are still a valued partner in the education process, this changes; your role shifts from primary advocate for your child to more of a supporting role, as your child starts becoming his own advocate.
    Understanding how and when to talk with teachers can open the door to supportive relationships—and sometimes, even new adult friendships—that will benefit both you and your child.
    COACHING TIP
    Most teachers see an average of 150 students pass through their classroom each day. Multiply 150 students by a teacher’s tenure at the school and you have a person with considerable middle school experience. If you suspect that your child has a concern or question that he may be reluctant to share with a teacher, consider calling or emailing the teacher to gently suggest an impromptu conversation with your child at school. Teachers can be a wonderful source of wisdom for a child, particularly when that child is tuning out a parent’s words .
    One good way to identify the best times to talk with your child’s teachers is to know a few of the
least
opportune times. For example, the two minutes before the class begins is one of the least available times for teachers and carries the added negative of extreme embarrassment for your child. It’s also taboo to seek out teachers at school on the weekend, when they need a quiet break from the routine of the work week to catch up on classroom organizing, paperwork, and the like. This taboo extends to phone calls over the weekend and public places like the grocery store, shopping mall, and sports venues. Although teachers may be difficult to contact face-to-face during standard working hours, parents actually have a greater opportunity to connect with teachers and school personnel than in the past through—you guessed it—email and telephone calls.
    Don’t wait until Back to School Night to introduce yourself. Get off to a good start by following these four tips for productive parent-teacher relationships:
    Make contact early. Sift through the pile of papers that your child brings home the first week of school. Look for contact information for each of your child’s teachers. Create a contact list with any information you can find. With your contact list in hand, start making calls or sending emails. The ideal time for this is during the second or third week of school, as week one is hectic for everyone. Generally by week two classes are more in sync, and teachers will have time to respond to your messages. Finally, post the list in a visible location for future reference.
    Focus on the positive. After reading through the class syllabi, choose something positive to comment on in your initial conversation or email with teachers. “The outline of class assignments in the syllabus is very helpful. Thank you for taking the time to lay out the scope of the year” is a powerful