Joe Bruzzese by Parents' Guide to the Middle School Years Page B

statement that tells a teacher you care about your child’s learning and appreciate the time and effort the teacher has invested. Commenting on the inclusion of a teacher’s biography or the promise of challenging course content also creates a positive impression about your commitment to the school year and your child’s learning.
    Connect in person. When Back to School Night finally arrives, make your way through the crowd of anxious parents vying for the teacher’s attention and warmly introduce yourself. Your past efforts at communication will have paved the way for a solid relationship in the year ahead.
    COACHING TIP
    Keep your email or phone call brief. The goal is to introduce yourself with a quick, positive comment about the class and upcoming school year. A lengthy call or email can flag you as another overbearing parent who wants to take control of his or her child’s year in middle school.
    Maintain contact. Continue to build your relationship by sending an email or leaving voice mails every three to four weeks to share something positive (your child’s enjoyment of the class, the interesting selection of readings, and so on). If you ever need to discuss a challenging topic such as academic progress or a peer-related issue, it’s more likely your questions will find a welcoming ear.
    Your initial connection with teachers is meant to lay the foundation for a year-long relationship. Given that children spend a significant number of their waking hours at school, teachers play an essential role in your child’s life. With their support and encouragement, both you and your child will be better able to thrive in the months ahead.
When to get involved
    Through short, ongoing conversations with their teachers, most kids will weather most issues that arise during the school year. However, some conflicts require additional attention and support from both teachers and parents. Relentless taunting from a school bully is one extreme example that warrants a conversation among teacher, child, and parent outside of school hours. Failing grades or a series of missed assignments (a precursor to failing grades) would also necessitate a more formal discussion involving everyone. It can be hard to define the line between what should and shouldn’t prompt a parent-teacher-student conference. Use the following list of situations and suggested actions as a quick guide for differentiating between issues that warrant parent intervention and those better left to a child and teacher to sort out.
    Situation: Your child spent the first week of school ranting about how strict his math teacher was, using the word
unfair to
describe his anticipated homework load. He pleads, “Can I switch to a different class?”
    Suggested action: Do nothing, outside of acknowledging that school can be challenging at times. You can try sharing a personal story about a difficult teacher from your past, though that probably won’t do much to diminish your child’s angst. Don’t assume the problem solver role; your budding middle schooler is capable of taking on this challenge. You can, however, monitor your child’s progress by asking to see graded assignments and tests. If the academic rigor exceeds what you consider to be realistic, then send a brief email to the teacher inquiring about how you can support your child’s ongoing achievement. If his progress remains stagnant or begins to head south of the C range, ask for a formal conference.
    Situation: Midway through the academic quarter, you open the mailbox to find your child’s progress report. Verbal assurances from your child over the past few weeks that everything was “fine” left you unprepared for the less than satisfactory tally of grades you now see.
    Suggested action: Before picking up the phone or heading to the computer to set up a formal inquiry with your child’s teachers, take a few minutes to talk with your child.