thought everything would stay the same. He would come home on breaks, and we would pick up where we left off as if he’d been gone for days, not months. I see now how wrong I was. Nothing can stay the same forever. Relationships change over time. Some get better, others dissolve, but none stays the same.
My love for Blake hasn’t wavered. In fact, I think the distance from him this past semester—not speaking to him—has caused my heart to ache for him. It’s crazy to think I may love him more now than I did four months ago when I walked away from him, angrier than I’ve ever been with anyone in my life.
The heart doesn’t care. It wants what it wants. It can be stepped on, beat up, used and tossed aside. It only makes it stronger and want to fight harder. For months, I thought mine had cracked in half. Until I saw Blake step out of that car, I thought I might never be able to love someone again. The truth is, I might not. My heart beats for him, and it may only ever beat for him.
Only time will tell. I’ll wait patiently for him to show up… hopefully, with one hell of an apology.
Five o’clock came and went. No Blake. I watched the clock all night, waiting for him to show his face, but he didn’t. When noon the next day came and I still hadn’t heard from him, a storm started to rage inside me. I couldn’t decide who I was more upset with, him or me.
I was stupid enough to think I would be the first person he would visit, to apologize for something he probably still doesn’t think he did wrong. Maybe he still thinks of me as a kid. Well, he should know better than that. He should have known better in the first place.
This is his fault. I can’t blame myself for his imperfections or the fact he doesn’t have the decency to apologize to someone he claims is his best friend. I should go over there and give him a piece of my mind. That’s what I should do, but I can’t. I tried that once already, and it led to our radio silence the past four months.
Forty-five minutes after I decide not to walk over to his house and give him a piece of my mind, I’m knocking on his front door. The storm is still raging inside me, but I’m secretly praying it calms down the second he pulls me in for a hug. In fact, I’m banking on it. The last thing I want is to start a new fight with him before we’ve resolved the last one.
Judy opens the door, pulling me for one of her hugs before hollering up the stairs to Blake, letting him know I’m here.
“You can go up if you want, Charlotte. He’s in his room.”
I nod and grip the railing for support as I put one foot in front of the other, slowly climbing the stairs. Standing outside his door for a second, I take a deep breath and compose myself. My hands begin to shake as I turn the handle and push against the door. Locked. It’s never locked.
“Blake,” I say as I knock.
I hear people moving around and Blake muttering. “Shit. Here. No, it’s fine. Put this on.” I knock again, confused for half a second before I take a step back. “Just a sec,” I hear him holler as my foot hits the top step of the stairs.
I’m closing the front door behind me when I hear Judy call my name followed by Blake yelling after me. I’m a stupid girl. I never should have gone over there. I was trying to be the bigger person, the adult in our relationship. I shouldn’t have to prove to Blake I’m adult. In the end, I didn’t. I ran away from the situation when I realized there was another person involved.
Alone in my room, I stare up at the ceiling and try to remember the way it felt to be a part of Blake’s life. I list the ways he made me feel special. Closing my eyes, I envision his face, his smile, and the many looks he’s given me over the years. I can almost hear his laugh as I replay all the adventures we’ve been on together.
His excitement radiates off of him, his camera in one hand and the world before him. I can still feel the water splashing on my face as
My love for Blake hasn’t wavered. In fact, I think the distance from him this past semester—not speaking to him—has caused my heart to ache for him. It’s crazy to think I may love him more now than I did four months ago when I walked away from him, angrier than I’ve ever been with anyone in my life.
The heart doesn’t care. It wants what it wants. It can be stepped on, beat up, used and tossed aside. It only makes it stronger and want to fight harder. For months, I thought mine had cracked in half. Until I saw Blake step out of that car, I thought I might never be able to love someone again. The truth is, I might not. My heart beats for him, and it may only ever beat for him.
Only time will tell. I’ll wait patiently for him to show up… hopefully, with one hell of an apology.
Five o’clock came and went. No Blake. I watched the clock all night, waiting for him to show his face, but he didn’t. When noon the next day came and I still hadn’t heard from him, a storm started to rage inside me. I couldn’t decide who I was more upset with, him or me.
I was stupid enough to think I would be the first person he would visit, to apologize for something he probably still doesn’t think he did wrong. Maybe he still thinks of me as a kid. Well, he should know better than that. He should have known better in the first place.
This is his fault. I can’t blame myself for his imperfections or the fact he doesn’t have the decency to apologize to someone he claims is his best friend. I should go over there and give him a piece of my mind. That’s what I should do, but I can’t. I tried that once already, and it led to our radio silence the past four months.
Forty-five minutes after I decide not to walk over to his house and give him a piece of my mind, I’m knocking on his front door. The storm is still raging inside me, but I’m secretly praying it calms down the second he pulls me in for a hug. In fact, I’m banking on it. The last thing I want is to start a new fight with him before we’ve resolved the last one.
Judy opens the door, pulling me for one of her hugs before hollering up the stairs to Blake, letting him know I’m here.
“You can go up if you want, Charlotte. He’s in his room.”
I nod and grip the railing for support as I put one foot in front of the other, slowly climbing the stairs. Standing outside his door for a second, I take a deep breath and compose myself. My hands begin to shake as I turn the handle and push against the door. Locked. It’s never locked.
“Blake,” I say as I knock.
I hear people moving around and Blake muttering. “Shit. Here. No, it’s fine. Put this on.” I knock again, confused for half a second before I take a step back. “Just a sec,” I hear him holler as my foot hits the top step of the stairs.
I’m closing the front door behind me when I hear Judy call my name followed by Blake yelling after me. I’m a stupid girl. I never should have gone over there. I was trying to be the bigger person, the adult in our relationship. I shouldn’t have to prove to Blake I’m adult. In the end, I didn’t. I ran away from the situation when I realized there was another person involved.
Alone in my room, I stare up at the ceiling and try to remember the way it felt to be a part of Blake’s life. I list the ways he made me feel special. Closing my eyes, I envision his face, his smile, and the many looks he’s given me over the years. I can almost hear his laugh as I replay all the adventures we’ve been on together.
His excitement radiates off of him, his camera in one hand and the world before him. I can still feel the water splashing on my face as
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