out there. Justin had once shown him where he and Chris had carved their initials in the bark when they were kids. When Dan had looked wistful, wishing that he had that sort of history somewhere, Justin had gone and gotten a knife and carved DW right there beside the other two. Dan wonders if the subdivision developers will cut the tree down.
Chris is still talking. “They maybe made a mistake in not telling you everything they got from the doctors. I think they were trying to spare you, or something… I don’t know. Maybe they just thought if nobody knew it wouldn’t be true. But there’s been no higher brain function since his first seizure, months ago. He’s gone, Dan.”
Dan can’t answer, can’t talk past the lump in his throat. There’s a weird ringing in his ears, and his body is flashing hot and then cold. He’s listening to Chris, but it’s like they’re far away from each other, or Chris is speaking a language Dan used to know but has forgotten. He pushes himself off the step and straightens up, then starts walking back to the barn.
“Where you going, Dan?” Chris calls after him, but Dan doesn’t really hear him.
Dan has no plan, no real destination, but he knows he doesn’t want to have anything to do with what’s happening in that house. He’s got no legal rights to anything, he knows that, knows there’s nothing he can really do. He can’t even say for sure what Justin would want. The three people back at the house have known Justin a lot longer than he has, and he knows that they do love Justin, despite Dan’s accusations to the contrary. If they think Justin would want to give up, maybe they’re right. Dan just can’t understand how they can give up. Maybe Justin would want to quit, but that just means that it’s their job to be strong for him, to lend him their will power until he’s back to himself.
When Dan gets to the barn, he manages to make it upstairs without seeing Robyn, and he starts packing his few belongings into bags and some boxes he’s able to find. He’s not sure where he’s going. Ordinarily he would have run straight to Chris’s, but that doesn’t work anymore. But it doesn’t matter, really. The barn is going, and the horses are going, and Justin… Justin is going. So Dan is going as well. He just doesn’t really know where.
Chapter 6
D AN ends up arranging to stay with Robyn. He hadn’t planned it, but she’d seen him packing his stuff into the truck, and hadn’t even asked for an explanation. She’d just asked if he was going to Chris’s, and when he’d said no, she’d asked where he was going. When he’d turned his face away instead of answering her, she’d taken out her keys and snapped one off the ring.
Dan pulls out of himself long enough to realize that Robyn is going to get some bad news pretty soon too. She’ll be upset about her job but also about Justin. They’d all worked together at the farm for years. He decides to take the key but not make himself at home. If it seems like she wants some time alone, he can always leave.
He starts to drive into town, toward Robyn’s apartment, and then makes a sharp turn and heads for the highway instead. The drive to Willowbrook passes too quickly, and Dan soon finds himself walking through the familiar hallways and pausing at the same old door. He wonders how many more times he’ll be making this trip. Wonders if maybe Justin’s parents will change their minds, if they have to watch Justin dying a slow death. How could any parent stand by and let that happen?
Dan braces himself as usual and then pushes the door open. He doesn’t bother to even try to smile; it would be dishonest to pretend that he’s not upset.
“Hey, baby, it’s me.” Dan pulls the chair from against the wall and sets it next to Justin’s bed. He leans forward, resting his forearms on the bed, and takes one of Justin’s hands in his. He speaks almost reluctantly. “Things aren’t going so well, man. Your
Chris is still talking. “They maybe made a mistake in not telling you everything they got from the doctors. I think they were trying to spare you, or something… I don’t know. Maybe they just thought if nobody knew it wouldn’t be true. But there’s been no higher brain function since his first seizure, months ago. He’s gone, Dan.”
Dan can’t answer, can’t talk past the lump in his throat. There’s a weird ringing in his ears, and his body is flashing hot and then cold. He’s listening to Chris, but it’s like they’re far away from each other, or Chris is speaking a language Dan used to know but has forgotten. He pushes himself off the step and straightens up, then starts walking back to the barn.
“Where you going, Dan?” Chris calls after him, but Dan doesn’t really hear him.
Dan has no plan, no real destination, but he knows he doesn’t want to have anything to do with what’s happening in that house. He’s got no legal rights to anything, he knows that, knows there’s nothing he can really do. He can’t even say for sure what Justin would want. The three people back at the house have known Justin a lot longer than he has, and he knows that they do love Justin, despite Dan’s accusations to the contrary. If they think Justin would want to give up, maybe they’re right. Dan just can’t understand how they can give up. Maybe Justin would want to quit, but that just means that it’s their job to be strong for him, to lend him their will power until he’s back to himself.
When Dan gets to the barn, he manages to make it upstairs without seeing Robyn, and he starts packing his few belongings into bags and some boxes he’s able to find. He’s not sure where he’s going. Ordinarily he would have run straight to Chris’s, but that doesn’t work anymore. But it doesn’t matter, really. The barn is going, and the horses are going, and Justin… Justin is going. So Dan is going as well. He just doesn’t really know where.
Chapter 6
D AN ends up arranging to stay with Robyn. He hadn’t planned it, but she’d seen him packing his stuff into the truck, and hadn’t even asked for an explanation. She’d just asked if he was going to Chris’s, and when he’d said no, she’d asked where he was going. When he’d turned his face away instead of answering her, she’d taken out her keys and snapped one off the ring.
Dan pulls out of himself long enough to realize that Robyn is going to get some bad news pretty soon too. She’ll be upset about her job but also about Justin. They’d all worked together at the farm for years. He decides to take the key but not make himself at home. If it seems like she wants some time alone, he can always leave.
He starts to drive into town, toward Robyn’s apartment, and then makes a sharp turn and heads for the highway instead. The drive to Willowbrook passes too quickly, and Dan soon finds himself walking through the familiar hallways and pausing at the same old door. He wonders how many more times he’ll be making this trip. Wonders if maybe Justin’s parents will change their minds, if they have to watch Justin dying a slow death. How could any parent stand by and let that happen?
Dan braces himself as usual and then pushes the door open. He doesn’t bother to even try to smile; it would be dishonest to pretend that he’s not upset.
“Hey, baby, it’s me.” Dan pulls the chair from against the wall and sets it next to Justin’s bed. He leans forward, resting his forearms on the bed, and takes one of Justin’s hands in his. He speaks almost reluctantly. “Things aren’t going so well, man. Your
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