King of the Worlds by M. Thomas Gammarino

IEF, in collaboration with PASA (Planetary Aeronautics and Space Administration), was charged with assigning exonyms where necessary. In the beginning they hewed to tradition and drew on the treasure trove of mythology, but as that quickly became exhausted, they tended toward pop culture instead—there were now planets called Radiohead, Trainspotting, and Infinite Jest, for instance (not to mention, a bit later, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet). Occasionally they drew from the well of geopolitics too: Since national boundaries were rapidly shifting and dissolving amid the emergent paradigm, it seemed fitting to pay homage to vanishing states by enshrining their names on the new celestial maps; and because China’s surprise—and surprising—siege of Taiwan was underway even as the naming committee was meeting to discuss the name of the planet Dylan would eventually move to, all delegates, even the Chinese one, voted in favor of “New Taiwan” (and cognates in other Terran languages). To be sure, outside of its name, New Taiwan was about as Taiwanese as the West Indies were Indian; witness the fact that (owing largely to its highly esteemed American School) some 78 percent of the planet’s Terran exopats were currently of American stock, whatever that might now mean.
    The native name of the planet, incidentally, was Ulmarjveul’tankuñbampok’ , which was not, strictly speaking, unpronounceable for humans, though it came pretty darned close. Like the English word “earth,” it doubled as a general term for soil.
    Dear Mr. Greenyears,
    Do you remember me? We met during the premiere of ET II in Taipei. I know you met lots of girls that day, but you may remember that I asked you to sign my arm, where I had scars? I used to cut myself when I was younger. I was very depressed. But when I saw your movie I thought you were so beautiful that you gave me hope for a better life. Have you ever gotten out of a swimming pool at night and stared at a light and it has a rainbow around it? You were like that to me. You had a glow around you. You were not like ordinary people. I just wanted to tell you that I think you saved my life. Thank you.
    Sincerely,
    Mei-Ling Chen
    Now this was just not what he’d expected at all. It was as if he’d come to get some candy and would be leaving with a rack of lamb. He vaguely remembered getting this letter the first time around, maybe even signing a worrying wrist in Taipei. Of course, back then at the height of his fame, all of that must have paled in his young, virile, and already repressed mind against the more full-frontal booty calls. Now, though, he found himself moved almost to tears. It didn’t make a bit of sense to him that he had putatively saved this girl’s life, but if it was true that his acting had made a difference back on Earth, then this was some comfort. He cringed to think he had never written back to her before (as far as he could remember, he had never written back to any of them) and so, better late than never, he omni’d his reply:
    Dear Mei-Ling Chen,
    My name is Dylan Greenyears. Perhaps you remember me? I was a fairly well known actor in the middle-nineties. Well, I was just looking through some old mail and I came across a letter you once wrote me. I apologize if I never replied before, and I realize it’s a bit strange for me to be replying two decades later, but I just wanted to let you know that your words moved me greatly. I live far away these days, but I would gladly come to wherever you are if you’d let me take you to lunch sometime. In any case, I hope you are doing well, and that you are happy.
    Sincerely,
    Dylan Greenyears
    He hadn’t written that name in a long time.
    He read over the message, which struck him as just right, neither withholding nor revealing too much. He recognized, of course, that it was also kind of insane. By now she’d be about, what, thirty-five? Somewhere in