Laggan Lard Butts by Eric Walters Page A

So what did you think about the result of today’s play-off game?”
    â€œThat’s right, you had a game today. Who won?”
    â€œMr. McGregor didn’t tell you that when he called?” I asked in amazement.
    â€œNo. What happened?”
    â€œWe won! We beat the first place team!”
    â€œWay to go. So what happens now?” “The way the play-offs are scheduled the first place team, or the team that plays them and wins—like us, gets a spot in the finals. The other teams have to win their first game and then the winners have a second playoff game to get to the finals against us. The final is this Thursday, and it’s a home game for us!”
    â€œThat is incredible. You must be so excited. You have a chance to win the whole thing in front of your home crowd.”
    â€œNot much of a chance.”
    â€œThere are only going to be two teams there, so you have the same chance as them.”
    â€œNot really. Out of six teams that made the play-offs we finished sixth.”
    â€œDidn’t you just tell me that you beat the first place team?” my father asked.
    â€œThey were short a player or two,” I said—although it was more like five or six.
    â€œHow did you do against the other teams during the regular season?”
    â€œWe lost both games.”
    â€œClose losses?”
    â€œIf you consider twenty-five points close, then, some of them barely squeaked by us.”
    My father laughed.
    â€œAll I know is that I’m going to be in the gym cheering your team on.” He paused. “I could even make a sign.”
    â€œThat’s okay,” I said, thinking about what embarrassing thing he might put on a sign. “What are you going to put on the sign?”
    â€œSomething simple...maybe just three words...Go Lard Butts!”

chapter twelve
    â€œAre you nervous?” Tanner asked.
    â€œA bit. You?”
    â€œNothing to be nervous about.”
    I wasn’t sure about that. We were sitting on stage along with two representatives from the five other nominated names. The whole school—every kid, every teacher, even the janitor—were in the gym. Each group had two minutes to speak about their name. Mr. McGregor was going speak about keepingthe name Laird. Nobody had campaigned for it, but, as he’d said in the beginning, people had the right to vote for it. I had to hand it to him. He really didn’t want Lard Butts to be selected, but he kept his word.
    After the speeches the gym would be converted into a polling station. Mr. Davidson had printed official ballots. We had ballot boxes, and the secretary was the polling officer. The janitor and two parents had agreed to count the votes. I was glad it wasn’t Mr. McGregor. I knew he wouldn’t cheat, but the fact that the thought even crossed my mind made me nervous.
    There had been a draw to determine the order of the presentations. We’d drawn last place. Tanner said that was good because we got the final word. I thought it was bad because we got to stay nervous for the whole thing. Everybody else got to speak and then they could sit down and relax.
    Mr. McGregor walked to the microphone at the front of the stage. He raised his hand to signal for silence. Slowly the entire crowd, including the teachers, raised their hands andwent silent. I kept my arms folded across my chest.
    â€œGood morning, students.”
    â€œGood morning, Mr. McGregor!” the crowd bellowed back.
    â€œWe are here today to practice something very important: democracy. One student, one vote, all of us equal, will decide.”
    People started cheering and clapping.
    â€œYour right to vote comes with a responsibility. You must choose wisely. Do not
waste
your vote.”
    I felt my cheeks burning. Was it my imagination or was everybody looking at me and Tanner?
    â€œWe will now start with the first presentation. Please welcome Heather and Brian.”
    The crowd gave a polite