she might try to get away before I could tell her what I felt. “That was the plan, but the plan changed after that first night we spent together.”
Maura shifted but didn’t try to pull away. “What do you mean?”
“I felt things with you that I hadn’t felt in years. You made me come alive again. That’s why I came to your room the next morning to give you that bracelet. I wanted you to know you were special, that our time together meant something to me. You weren’t like all the others, and the only thing that mattered to me was seeing you again.”
“You say all the right things, but how do I know I can believe you?”
“You don’t… yet. I’ve broken the trust. I can’t rebuild that overnight. But maybe if you give me a chance, just to be your friend for now, I can prove that I’m not the selfish bastard you think I am. I want to put you first. I intend to put you first, and I think with time, you’ll realize that.” I wanted to be so much more than her friend, but for now, that was the best place to start rebuilding our relationship.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Fair enough.” I tried not to let my disappointment seep into my voice. Everything worth having was worth working for, and nothing was worth more to me than she was. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight. I’m not going anywhere until we figure this thing out, so you have time to decide how you feel about me.”
“What about your business?”
I smiled. “That’s the beauty of technology and owning a private jet. I can run my business and be where I need to be within a few hours.”
“About that night… the night of the attack.”
“Yes?” I held my breath, almost afraid of what she might say next.
“He kissed me.” Her grip on my forearms tightened. “I hated it. I tried to turn my head, but he forced my mouth open. He even bit me.”
I gently kissed her neck, trying to distract her from the painful memories. “It’s okay, angel. We don’t have to—”
“He tasted like whisky and cigarettes. I always thought that was strange, because you hated whisky and didn’t smoke.”
I felt my heart thumping hard. I wondered if she could feel it too. This was an important moment for us, perhaps a turning point.
“There were so many things that didn’t add up. I don’t know why I didn’t see them then.”
“Because you were being brainwashed into believing what they wanted you to believe, sweetheart. You were traumatized. How could you be expected to make rational decisions when you were still dealing with being raped and brutalized?”
“Then you don’t hate me?” she whispered. “You don’t hate me for believing you were responsible?”
“Angel, I could never hate you.” I love you. “You were the victim in all this.”
“So were you.”
I closed my eyes, relishing the words I never thought I’d hear from her lips. “Thank you for saying that, but I can’t begin to compare what I went through with your experience.”
“You were probably a lot braver than I would have been. I can’t believe you spent all those years in prison for crimes you didn’t commit.”
She trembled, and I reached for the throw at the bottom of the lounger and covered her with it.
“It must have been horrible. I can’t even imagine.”
“It made me who I am.” I kissed her cheek. “Just like loving you made me who I am. There’s no one else like you, Maura. Never has been. Never will be. At least not for me.”
She remained quiet so long, I though she may not respond, but finally she said, “There’s so much for me to process. I spent so many years trying to hate you and hating myself because I couldn’t. Then I met you in New York and fell in love with you only to find out you’d betrayed me in the worst possible way. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“I understand.” I would have felt the same way in her position.
“I have a headache,” she said, closing her eyes as she leaned her
Maura shifted but didn’t try to pull away. “What do you mean?”
“I felt things with you that I hadn’t felt in years. You made me come alive again. That’s why I came to your room the next morning to give you that bracelet. I wanted you to know you were special, that our time together meant something to me. You weren’t like all the others, and the only thing that mattered to me was seeing you again.”
“You say all the right things, but how do I know I can believe you?”
“You don’t… yet. I’ve broken the trust. I can’t rebuild that overnight. But maybe if you give me a chance, just to be your friend for now, I can prove that I’m not the selfish bastard you think I am. I want to put you first. I intend to put you first, and I think with time, you’ll realize that.” I wanted to be so much more than her friend, but for now, that was the best place to start rebuilding our relationship.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Fair enough.” I tried not to let my disappointment seep into my voice. Everything worth having was worth working for, and nothing was worth more to me than she was. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight. I’m not going anywhere until we figure this thing out, so you have time to decide how you feel about me.”
“What about your business?”
I smiled. “That’s the beauty of technology and owning a private jet. I can run my business and be where I need to be within a few hours.”
“About that night… the night of the attack.”
“Yes?” I held my breath, almost afraid of what she might say next.
“He kissed me.” Her grip on my forearms tightened. “I hated it. I tried to turn my head, but he forced my mouth open. He even bit me.”
I gently kissed her neck, trying to distract her from the painful memories. “It’s okay, angel. We don’t have to—”
“He tasted like whisky and cigarettes. I always thought that was strange, because you hated whisky and didn’t smoke.”
I felt my heart thumping hard. I wondered if she could feel it too. This was an important moment for us, perhaps a turning point.
“There were so many things that didn’t add up. I don’t know why I didn’t see them then.”
“Because you were being brainwashed into believing what they wanted you to believe, sweetheart. You were traumatized. How could you be expected to make rational decisions when you were still dealing with being raped and brutalized?”
“Then you don’t hate me?” she whispered. “You don’t hate me for believing you were responsible?”
“Angel, I could never hate you.” I love you. “You were the victim in all this.”
“So were you.”
I closed my eyes, relishing the words I never thought I’d hear from her lips. “Thank you for saying that, but I can’t begin to compare what I went through with your experience.”
“You were probably a lot braver than I would have been. I can’t believe you spent all those years in prison for crimes you didn’t commit.”
She trembled, and I reached for the throw at the bottom of the lounger and covered her with it.
“It must have been horrible. I can’t even imagine.”
“It made me who I am.” I kissed her cheek. “Just like loving you made me who I am. There’s no one else like you, Maura. Never has been. Never will be. At least not for me.”
She remained quiet so long, I though she may not respond, but finally she said, “There’s so much for me to process. I spent so many years trying to hate you and hating myself because I couldn’t. Then I met you in New York and fell in love with you only to find out you’d betrayed me in the worst possible way. I don’t know if I can get past that.”
“I understand.” I would have felt the same way in her position.
“I have a headache,” she said, closing her eyes as she leaned her
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