they were at all fazed by the strangers in their garden they didn’t show it, tripping each other up as usual around Anna’s feet.
‘QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK’
With an apologetic look at Matt and Oscar, Anna turned to soothe the ducks.
“Yes I know it’s late and I’m very sorry. It’s not my fault though, there were some, er, unusual circumstances which were completely beyond my control.”
‘QUACK QUACK’
“I’d rather not get into it right now. Besides, as you can see we have visitors, and I don’t think it’s polite to argue in front of them, do you?”
‘QUACK’
“Thank you.”
She turned back to Matt and Oscar, whose turn it was to stand there open mouthed. Matt recovered first, shaking his head a little and giving her the sort of smile someone might give a person when they weren’t sure whether all their marbles were present and accounted for.
“So,” he said, drawing out the o slowly, “you keep ducks.”
Beside him, Oscar finally managed to shut his mouth. He tugged at his father’s jersey.
“ Dad ?” he said.
“Well I wouldn’t say I keep them,” Anna frowned. “That’s an odd choice of word.”
“Odd?”
“ Dad!”
“ Yes, odd.”
“You’re saying keep is an odd choice of word?”
“In that context, yes.”
“Well in that case I apologise. I’ve never met anyone who owned ducks before. I wasn’t aware there was a wrong and right term of reference.”
“ Dad, was she –”
“I mean, you wouldn’t say to someone, ‘I see you keep cats, or a dog,’ would you? Seriously, have you ever heard anyone say ‘I see you keep a parrot’?”
“Well no. Not like that - ,” he admitted.
“ Dad! Was she just talking to the ducks?”
“Exactly,” Anna said, “they’re normal pets, just like anything else. A more correct term would have been to point out that I ‘have’ ducks.”
“I’m sorry, but are we really standing here arguing over the unintentional misuse of a word?”
“ Like they were people?”
“I just thought I should inform you of the correct term in case you ever meet anyone else who ‘has’ pet ducks.”
“Now see,” said Matt, “I’ve always wondered; should that be ‘who’, or ‘whom’?”
He was mocking her, Anna knew.
“I give up,” Oscar muttered. “If no one else thinks it’s crazy then who am I to care?” He stooped down to look at the ducks closer. They tilted their heads and studied him back.
Matt and Anna reached an impasse and simply stared at each other, eyes narrowed.
Matt was the one to break it. “You know,” he told Anna, “you and Kirsten would get along nicely. She’s labouring under the mistaken impression I need to be constantly improved as well.”
“Kirsten?”
“The soul sucking black hole that devours the contents of my wallet.”
“He means my mother,” elaborated Oscar.
“ Your mother! Of course you have a mother, why wouldn’t you,” Anna exclaimed, unsure why she hadn’t before now stopped to consider the woman who completed the set-up.
Oscar looked at her like a couple of marbles had just fallen out of one ear. “Doesn’t everyone?”
“Yes of course.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a little bit weird?” Oscar asked her.
“Oscar!” Matt grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him against him. “Apologise to Anna please.”
“No it’s quite alright,” Anna said. “Children speak without filters, it’s refreshing. Right, let’s see about getting you some food Oscar, yes and you ,” she added when the ducks puffed up their chests indignantly. “Back door in five. Won’t Kirsten be wondering where you are?” she directed this last question to Matt as she turned her key in the door and let them into her home.
“Nope. We’re divorced. It’s my week with Oscar.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. Its better this way, believe me. She’ll be off spending my money on something ridiculously luxurious.”
“You sound
‘QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK’
With an apologetic look at Matt and Oscar, Anna turned to soothe the ducks.
“Yes I know it’s late and I’m very sorry. It’s not my fault though, there were some, er, unusual circumstances which were completely beyond my control.”
‘QUACK QUACK’
“I’d rather not get into it right now. Besides, as you can see we have visitors, and I don’t think it’s polite to argue in front of them, do you?”
‘QUACK’
“Thank you.”
She turned back to Matt and Oscar, whose turn it was to stand there open mouthed. Matt recovered first, shaking his head a little and giving her the sort of smile someone might give a person when they weren’t sure whether all their marbles were present and accounted for.
“So,” he said, drawing out the o slowly, “you keep ducks.”
Beside him, Oscar finally managed to shut his mouth. He tugged at his father’s jersey.
“ Dad ?” he said.
“Well I wouldn’t say I keep them,” Anna frowned. “That’s an odd choice of word.”
“Odd?”
“ Dad!”
“ Yes, odd.”
“You’re saying keep is an odd choice of word?”
“In that context, yes.”
“Well in that case I apologise. I’ve never met anyone who owned ducks before. I wasn’t aware there was a wrong and right term of reference.”
“ Dad, was she –”
“I mean, you wouldn’t say to someone, ‘I see you keep cats, or a dog,’ would you? Seriously, have you ever heard anyone say ‘I see you keep a parrot’?”
“Well no. Not like that - ,” he admitted.
“ Dad! Was she just talking to the ducks?”
“Exactly,” Anna said, “they’re normal pets, just like anything else. A more correct term would have been to point out that I ‘have’ ducks.”
“I’m sorry, but are we really standing here arguing over the unintentional misuse of a word?”
“ Like they were people?”
“I just thought I should inform you of the correct term in case you ever meet anyone else who ‘has’ pet ducks.”
“Now see,” said Matt, “I’ve always wondered; should that be ‘who’, or ‘whom’?”
He was mocking her, Anna knew.
“I give up,” Oscar muttered. “If no one else thinks it’s crazy then who am I to care?” He stooped down to look at the ducks closer. They tilted their heads and studied him back.
Matt and Anna reached an impasse and simply stared at each other, eyes narrowed.
Matt was the one to break it. “You know,” he told Anna, “you and Kirsten would get along nicely. She’s labouring under the mistaken impression I need to be constantly improved as well.”
“Kirsten?”
“The soul sucking black hole that devours the contents of my wallet.”
“He means my mother,” elaborated Oscar.
“ Your mother! Of course you have a mother, why wouldn’t you,” Anna exclaimed, unsure why she hadn’t before now stopped to consider the woman who completed the set-up.
Oscar looked at her like a couple of marbles had just fallen out of one ear. “Doesn’t everyone?”
“Yes of course.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a little bit weird?” Oscar asked her.
“Oscar!” Matt grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him against him. “Apologise to Anna please.”
“No it’s quite alright,” Anna said. “Children speak without filters, it’s refreshing. Right, let’s see about getting you some food Oscar, yes and you ,” she added when the ducks puffed up their chests indignantly. “Back door in five. Won’t Kirsten be wondering where you are?” she directed this last question to Matt as she turned her key in the door and let them into her home.
“Nope. We’re divorced. It’s my week with Oscar.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. Its better this way, believe me. She’ll be off spending my money on something ridiculously luxurious.”
“You sound
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