Letting Go by Maya Banks

she looked away, embarrassed to be caught checking him out in such an obvious matter.
    But he wasn’t bothered. Indeed, he looked . . . pleased.
    “That’s it, Joss. See me,” he breathed out. “ Finally . See me. Who I am. What I am. And that I want you with my every breath.”
    “How long?” she whispered, remembering his admonishment that perhaps she wouldn’t want the answer to her question. But now she had to know. She had to know how long he’d gone unnoticed by her.
    “Forever?” he said with a casual shrug. He tried to play it off lightly, but she could see the shadows that suddenly entered his eyes. The . . . pain. And the longing. Oh dear God. It couldn’t be true. It simply couldn’t.
    “Forever?” she croaked out. “You mean before . . . When Carson and I were together ?”
    He gave a clipped nod and all the wind left Joss in a sudden whoosh, leaving her sagging on the couch. He made a sudden grab for her, steadying her before she could topple sideways.
    “I didn’t know,” she murmured faintly.
    “Of course not. I didn’t want you to know,” Dash bit out. “I wouldn’t have laid that on you, Joss. What could you have done? You were in love with another man. Married to another man. My best friend. You knowing would have solved nothing and would have put a strain on our relationship. On the three of us.”
    She raised her gaze to him, haunted, she was sure, because what she had to ask next . . .
    “And Carson?” she whispered. “Did he know?”
    Dash hesitated only a moment, as if he were deciding just how blunt to be with her. Then he gave a quick shake of his head, almost as if he were deciding that she should have it all. That maybe he thought she was finally ready to hear what she’d been ignorant of for so long.
    “He knew,” Dash said grimly.
    “Oh my God,” Joss said shakily. “He knew? And you were friends? Dash, I don’t understand any of this!”
    Dash sighed and then gently pulled her forward until she was nestled into his chest. He laid her head against his shoulder and kissed the top of her hair as one hand glided downward, separating and stroking the tresses that had now tumbled down from the clip that had secured them earlier.
    There was so much more in his embrace than the comfort he’d offered for the last three years. She knew it now, but hadn’t known it then. Her entire body was on high alert. Her pulse raced and thudded in her veins. Her breasts tingled and her nipples beaded and tightened against the dress. She hadn’t worn a bra and she knew that Dash could feel the imprint of her nipples through their clothing.
    “Carson understood,” Dash said in a low voice. “And yes, we were friends and we remained friends because he knew I would never betray him and he knew you would never betray him. He knew that I would never act on my attraction. But yes, he knew. And I think it gave him a measure of comfort to know that if anything ever happened to him I’d step in. That I’d be here and that I’d give you everything you could possibly want or need.”
    She pushed off his chest to look him in the eye. “But Dash, that had to have been . . .”
    She trailed off, seeing the fire in his eyes. As if he’d suppressed his need and want for so long and now it was unleashed, vibrant and blazing in his eyes.
    “It was hell,” Dash quietly confirmed. “It was heaven and it was hell. Heaven when I got to spend time with you. When I simply got to look at you or see you smile. It was hell going home at night knowing you were in Carson’s arms and not my own.”
    “I didn’t know,” she choked out. “I didn’t know, Dash!”
    His expression gentled and he put his hand up to stroke her cheek, rubbing downward in a tender caress.
    “I didn’t want you to know, Joss. I was in an impossible position and I never wanted that for you. For Carson. I loved you both and I would have never done anything to destroy your marriage or cause trouble. So I