Lily Alone by Jacqueline Wilson

bone in my hand, closed my eyes, and wished hard.
    Please don’t let Mum go on holiday without us!
    But after dinner she went to her room and started packing her case. Bliss and I lay on her bed, watching her. Baxter drove his fork-lift truck under her bed, crawling around in the dust. Pixie staggered about in Mum’s high heels, getting in the way.
    â€˜I wish I had a decent bikini,’ said Mum. ‘Look, Lil, do you think my posh red bra and pants look a bit like a bikini?’
    â€˜No, they look like a bra and pants.’
    â€˜Oh well, I’ll just have to buy myself a bikini when I’m there. What should I wear for the flight? Should I dress up in the grey dress to look my best – or dress down in jeans and a T-shirt, making out it’s no big deal?’
    â€˜ I don’t know. Why don’t you wear your red bra and pants?’ I said.
    â€˜Ooh! You’ve still got the hump, then. Little Miss Camel, that’s you,’ said Mum. Then she blinked at me earnestly. ‘Please don’t spoil everything, Lily. Just wait till you get a boyfriend. Then you’ll understand.’
    â€˜I’m not ever ever ever getting a boyfriend,’ I said.
    â€˜Well, you can be an old maid then and not have any fun at all,’ said Mum.
    â€˜It’s not fun to go off and leave your kids,’ I mumbled.
    â€˜I’m not leaving you, you nutcase. It’s just for a few days, I keep saying . And Mikey will be looking after you. Shall I ring him now? No, maybe I’ll leave it to the last second, just as I’m going – then he’ll have to come, no arguing.’
    â€˜But, Mum—’
    â€˜And no arguing from you either. I’ve just about had a bellyful. You shut up.’
    So that’s what I did. I was so stupid. I should have argued like crazy. I should have begged and pleaded and cried. I should have frightened Bliss and made her cry too. I should have thrown my arms round Mum. I could have done so many different things to stop her all that Sunday, but I let her carry on packing and have another cup of tea and then do her make-up. She was ready to go, her denim jacket on, her newly washed hair brushed out, bobbing on her shoulders.
    â€˜OK, now I’ll tackle Mikey,’ she said, dialling.
    She listened, then frowned. ‘Oh dammit, it’s his voicemail. Mikey? Listen, Mikey, it’s me, Kate. Hey, you know you were saying you want to see the kids? Well, I’ve fixed it all up for you. You need to come over to my place as soon as you get this message. I’m going abroad for a few days with my new boyfriend – yeah, truly – so it’s your turn to play Daddy for a while. The kids are so excited you’ll be coming – aren’t you, Baxter, mate?’
    Baxter gave a whoop.
    â€˜Hear that? OK, Mikey, don’t let me down, will you? Them kids mean all the world to me. Cheers.’
    She clicked her phone off and looked at us, nibbling her lip.
    â€˜I want to talk to Dad,’ said Baxter.
    â€˜No, love, I was just leaving him a message,’ said Mum. She looked at me. ‘So, can you be in charge of the kids just till Mikey gets here, Lil? Why does he have to have his phone switched off ? Typical! Anyway, you’ll be all right, won’t you, Lily? He’ll come round the minute he gets the message.’
    â€˜Mum—’
    â€˜You’ll be fine, I know you will. And I’ll phone you every day, I promise, just to check you’re OK. And I’ll bring you all a present when I come back. What would you like, Lily? I know, one of them Spanish dancer costumes. A red one, all over ruffles.’
    â€˜I don’t want any present,’ I said – though I’d always loved spanish dancer costumes. I could see the red one with ruffles and I ached to own it.
    â€˜I want a dancer costume – a pink one!’ said Pixie.
    â€˜Can I have blue?’ said Bliss.
    â€˜I