THE THING! WE ALMOST DIED!
14 Homeward Bound
First of all it was just an almost-noise. It went like this: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I put all those little lines there because it was like the noise of silent walking and I think that line looks like silent footsteps, don’t you? You have to imagine them going pad pad pad pad, along the ground like that, only silently. That’s why I called it an almost-noise.
I think we must have heard it in our inner brain. Except of course Hoolie hasn’t got an inner brain because he’s a baboon and they don’t use their brains. I know that’s true, because if they did they wouldn’t go round making car aerials go TWANG!
We sat up in the tree, dead still, and with meholding on with my tongue and tail and legs and everything. I could feel myself slip-slipping, sliding off the branch — AND THEN IT CAME OUT OF THE SHADOWS!
It was that thing in the newspaper! It went slinking along right under our tree and THEN IT STOPPED! RIGHT BENEATH ME! AND I WAS SLIP-SLIDING! Hoolie held on to my ears and Cat tried to stop my bum sliding off the branch and I thought: We are all going to DIE!
I wondered what Red Bottom Dog would do and I knew she wouldn’t be scared, so I pretended I wasn’t, even though I was. I pretended I wasn’t quivering with fear, even though I was. And I pretended I wasn’t slipping off the branch, even though I was. And I pretended Hoolie was holding my ears to be helpful and not because he thought they might be as much fun as windscreen wipers, which I’m sure he was definitely thinking, because he’s mad and trying to build a car and he’s a baboon that can’t drive.
The Beast stopped right underneath and lifted his head and sniff sniff sniffed, like that. And I smelt that smell again, the strange faraway smelland now I knew what it was. It was the smell of long grass, hot sun and great herds of antelope, and the cheetah creep-creeping up on them, with his long swishing tail and sharp teeth.
Now his yellow eyes narrowed and he looked all around. And then he did a great big wee all over the tree trunk! He did! Honestly! He growled quietly, a low rumble — rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. After that he did a bit more sniffing and then he went off again, like this: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (More silent padding.)
And we were still up the tree and we’d been holding our breath for days! So we had to let it out and take a big, deep breath. Phew! We had seen THE BEAST and we had survived. Red Bottom Dog saved the day! Then Hoolie let go of my ears and I fell out of the tree again. CRASH! OW! MORE PAIN!
As I lay on the ground I thought: Actually, come to think of it, Red Bottom Dog wasn’t much use up that tree at all. I’m going to stick with Dazzy DonutDog after all. I think donuts are much better than red bottoms, don’t you?
Hoolie asked if we’d noticed The Beast had two tails.
Cat said its teeth were like daggers.
I said my ears hurt, and gave Hoolie a sharp look, but he just grinned.
We set off and found a road. I was really pleased because, although I hadn’t told anyone, I had a secret plan. I’d been thinking about it for some time. This is how my plan went. We find a van with the back doors open. We get inside. It takes us back to where I came from. Wasn’t that a good idea? I thought it was, and you know what? We saw a van, with the doors open. It was parked outside a house. And another thing — when I looked inside, it was full of pies and sausage rolls! In fact, it was the same van, because I could smell where I’d been sick.
‘I was sick in here!’ I told the others. ‘Jump in!’
‘I’m not sitting where you threw up,’ Catcomplained.
‘Just get in,’ I said.
Hoolie didn’t mind where he sat. He was far too busy admiring himself in the wing mirror he’d just pulled off the side. Then he found the pies and began to eat one.
‘Don’t eat too much, or you’ll be sick like I was,’ I warned.
‘Oh, pishy-poo
14 Homeward Bound
First of all it was just an almost-noise. It went like this: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I put all those little lines there because it was like the noise of silent walking and I think that line looks like silent footsteps, don’t you? You have to imagine them going pad pad pad pad, along the ground like that, only silently. That’s why I called it an almost-noise.
I think we must have heard it in our inner brain. Except of course Hoolie hasn’t got an inner brain because he’s a baboon and they don’t use their brains. I know that’s true, because if they did they wouldn’t go round making car aerials go TWANG!
We sat up in the tree, dead still, and with meholding on with my tongue and tail and legs and everything. I could feel myself slip-slipping, sliding off the branch — AND THEN IT CAME OUT OF THE SHADOWS!
It was that thing in the newspaper! It went slinking along right under our tree and THEN IT STOPPED! RIGHT BENEATH ME! AND I WAS SLIP-SLIDING! Hoolie held on to my ears and Cat tried to stop my bum sliding off the branch and I thought: We are all going to DIE!
I wondered what Red Bottom Dog would do and I knew she wouldn’t be scared, so I pretended I wasn’t, even though I was. I pretended I wasn’t quivering with fear, even though I was. And I pretended I wasn’t slipping off the branch, even though I was. And I pretended Hoolie was holding my ears to be helpful and not because he thought they might be as much fun as windscreen wipers, which I’m sure he was definitely thinking, because he’s mad and trying to build a car and he’s a baboon that can’t drive.
The Beast stopped right underneath and lifted his head and sniff sniff sniffed, like that. And I smelt that smell again, the strange faraway smelland now I knew what it was. It was the smell of long grass, hot sun and great herds of antelope, and the cheetah creep-creeping up on them, with his long swishing tail and sharp teeth.
Now his yellow eyes narrowed and he looked all around. And then he did a great big wee all over the tree trunk! He did! Honestly! He growled quietly, a low rumble — rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. After that he did a bit more sniffing and then he went off again, like this: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (More silent padding.)
And we were still up the tree and we’d been holding our breath for days! So we had to let it out and take a big, deep breath. Phew! We had seen THE BEAST and we had survived. Red Bottom Dog saved the day! Then Hoolie let go of my ears and I fell out of the tree again. CRASH! OW! MORE PAIN!
As I lay on the ground I thought: Actually, come to think of it, Red Bottom Dog wasn’t much use up that tree at all. I’m going to stick with Dazzy DonutDog after all. I think donuts are much better than red bottoms, don’t you?
Hoolie asked if we’d noticed The Beast had two tails.
Cat said its teeth were like daggers.
I said my ears hurt, and gave Hoolie a sharp look, but he just grinned.
We set off and found a road. I was really pleased because, although I hadn’t told anyone, I had a secret plan. I’d been thinking about it for some time. This is how my plan went. We find a van with the back doors open. We get inside. It takes us back to where I came from. Wasn’t that a good idea? I thought it was, and you know what? We saw a van, with the doors open. It was parked outside a house. And another thing — when I looked inside, it was full of pies and sausage rolls! In fact, it was the same van, because I could smell where I’d been sick.
‘I was sick in here!’ I told the others. ‘Jump in!’
‘I’m not sitting where you threw up,’ Catcomplained.
‘Just get in,’ I said.
Hoolie didn’t mind where he sat. He was far too busy admiring himself in the wing mirror he’d just pulled off the side. Then he found the pies and began to eat one.
‘Don’t eat too much, or you’ll be sick like I was,’ I warned.
‘Oh, pishy-poo
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