Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 07 by Startled by His Furry Shorts Page A

the playground towardthe school gates. No sign of the Luuurve God. Just in case he was hidden from view I was doing my hip hip, flick flick thing. As I got to the gate Mr. Attwood leapt out from the herbaceous border in full madman outfit. Overalls and a cap and his fire extinguisher. What is the matter with him?
    He said, “What are you doing out here, young lady? You should be in the main hall. If I am not informed of where all personnel are, there might be casualties unaccounted for in the event of major conflagration.”
    Has the human race come to this?
    back in the tarts’ wardrobe for
a final makeup check
ten minutes later
    God, I can hardly move my eyes, I’ve got so much mascara on. I’m so on the edge of having a complete tizz and to-do. On top of everything else I feel a bit nervy and excited about seeing Dave the Laugh. As we approached the main hall doors, I said, “Shall we do a quick burst of the Viking disco inferno backstage to let Dave and his mates know that the MacUseless party has begun?”
    Jas said, “I don’t think Dave the Laugh willwant to see anything you have to show him, if you know what I mean.”
    I glared at her in a meaningful way, but she didn’t know what I meant. However, she had said something about Dave the Laugh, so Ellen was off in a ditherspaz.
    â€œDid you say, er, Dave the, er, Laugh wouldn’t want to see anything that…to see anything that Georgia shows him…I mean, what does that mean?”
    Fortunately at that moment we entered the hall and her ditherosity was drowned out by the lads cheering and yelling, “Nunga-nungas!!!”
    Dave the Laugh was at the front of the mob of lads pretending to keep them back and saying to us, “Move along, ladeez, there is nothing to see here. Nothing to see.” Like a policeman at a road accident.
    5:50 p.m.
    After the usual hour and a half of chaos that Miss Wilson calls “rehearsal,” we were set loose from Stalag 14. I nipped off to the tarts’ wardrobe to roll my skirt up and put my black lacy top on. The ace gang were still in MacUseless mode. Rosie was doing her “eye of newt” bit but improvising byadding “yum yum.” She will probably do it on performance night and then we will all be executed.
    But actually that would be a blessing in disguise. I am on the rack of love and feel like going to the piddly diddly department every five seconds. What if he is there? What should I do? Should I display glacial glaciosity or have just a hint of Eastern promise lurking across my face? I made the ace gang walk in front of me so that I could reveal myself to him at my best angle when I saw him.
    As we walked across the playground I could see that Masimo was not outside the school gates to meet me. I felt quite relieved in a way. I don’t know why. At least I didn’t have to put up with all the ogling oglers looking at me making a prat of myself in front of him. Or fainting, which I probably would have done. Or had a sudden poo parlor division episode. Still, he did say he would let me know in a week and the week didn’t start at the school gates, did it? It started at my house. So I needn’t worry until I get to my house. Ish.
    two minutes later
    I wonder if Masimo would think walking home as a gang was a hoot and a half? Or if he would think itwas a bit childish. But we don’t always limp and pretend to be the Hunchbacks of Notre Dame. We only do it when it is appropriate. You know, on boring bits of walking or in lessons. I can be as full of maturiosity as the next person…ish.
    ten minutes later
    Dave and his gang leapt out from behind some bushes and nearly gave us a heart attack. Ellen’s head was so red, I thought it would explode. I felt funny, sort of pleased that he was with us. Even though it’s literally been about ten minutes since I last saw him.
    two minutes later
    Dave was doing a really bad backward moon walk