had been coming for a long time. How
could it be real? He’d hurt me, more than the accident had, worse than I ever thought
anyone could.
Suddenly,
I was thinking back to high school. Things had been so much simpler then.
Falling in love with Hale had been easy. It started with sweet, little things like flirty compliments about my smile or thoughtful gifts without
occasion. The gentle way he brushed my hair out of my eyes and behind my ear or
seemed beside himself with joy whenever I was around. He was surprising back
then, and romantic. He always wanted to spend time with me. Everyone thought we
belonged together. So did I.
But
he’d changed. It was so slow at first that I hardly noticed it. In the
beginning, I chalked it up as the typical bickering that all couples must
endure. As things got worse, I was willing to see past the things he did…for
us. At least, that’s what I convinced myself I was doing. The truth was, I was
blinded by more than just all the good things he’d been back then – I was
afraid of being alone.
By
the time the tears were gone, my room was empty again.
Six
I
rummaged through my things, hoping to find the old locket my grandmother had
given me when something suddenly reconnected in my brain and I remembered that
I had given it to Shane.
In
truth, even though I could still see his face after he pulled me out of the
burning wreckage, my memory of the accident had taken a serious jolt and
everything from then was coming back slowly. I’d told him something…and felt
him lifting my head…the rest was mostly a blur for a while. Eventually, most of
it came back to me.
Recalling
in full was both a blessing and a curse.
It
was Shane I thought about while watching the news reports that evening. The man
from the news said the bus swerved to avoid some sort of obstacle in the road,
probably an animal or debris blown about in the high wind. The driver lost
control and ran up onto the shoulder, overcorrected, and then the bus hydroplaned
nearly two hundred feet before the back wheels caught traction on the shoulder
and the whole thing flipped. He said it was a tragic disaster , which was
really nothing more than words on a teleprompter to the newsman giving telling
the story.
At
first the reports only gave the numbers. I had no way of knowing if Shane had
lived or not. For all I knew, he was already gravely injured when he managed to
pull me out. After the news cycled again in the morning, they began to release
the names of those who perished.
“Angela
Ashton, twenty eight. George Ashton, thirty. Ray Engel, forty four…” the
reporter droned out the names somberly in alphabetical order. A photograph was
shown of the person that died to accompany each one. Some of the faces looked
familiar, passing glances I recalled from that day. Others I was sure I’d never
seen before.
“Five
passengers survived the accident, one of the worst on record for Jones County.
Three of them are still in critical condition.” Once the reporter concluded, I
switched off the television and sat in stunned silence.
To
my relief, Shane was not on the list of those killed. Twenty-two people in all,
including the driver, had perished. I shuddered to think how close I’d come to being
one of them. Most were from the large group we’d picked up in Raleigh. I continued
to listen each day, hoping to hear Shane’s name or see his face on the screen.
In that time, neither came, and I was eventually discharged. The locket, and
the man that saved my life, seemed lost to me.
I
wasn’t going to give up hope. He was still out there. Alive . Maybe he
would find me. Once I was better and I could leave mother for a while, if he
still hadn’t…well, I’d go looking for him myself. I wanted to thank him for
what he did, and maybe even take him up on his offer for a night out on the
town.
At
the end of the third day, after getting fed up with the bland food and the
infernal beeping of the machines all night long,
could it be real? He’d hurt me, more than the accident had, worse than I ever thought
anyone could.
Suddenly,
I was thinking back to high school. Things had been so much simpler then.
Falling in love with Hale had been easy. It started with sweet, little things like flirty compliments about my smile or thoughtful gifts without
occasion. The gentle way he brushed my hair out of my eyes and behind my ear or
seemed beside himself with joy whenever I was around. He was surprising back
then, and romantic. He always wanted to spend time with me. Everyone thought we
belonged together. So did I.
But
he’d changed. It was so slow at first that I hardly noticed it. In the
beginning, I chalked it up as the typical bickering that all couples must
endure. As things got worse, I was willing to see past the things he did…for
us. At least, that’s what I convinced myself I was doing. The truth was, I was
blinded by more than just all the good things he’d been back then – I was
afraid of being alone.
By
the time the tears were gone, my room was empty again.
Six
I
rummaged through my things, hoping to find the old locket my grandmother had
given me when something suddenly reconnected in my brain and I remembered that
I had given it to Shane.
In
truth, even though I could still see his face after he pulled me out of the
burning wreckage, my memory of the accident had taken a serious jolt and
everything from then was coming back slowly. I’d told him something…and felt
him lifting my head…the rest was mostly a blur for a while. Eventually, most of
it came back to me.
Recalling
in full was both a blessing and a curse.
It
was Shane I thought about while watching the news reports that evening. The man
from the news said the bus swerved to avoid some sort of obstacle in the road,
probably an animal or debris blown about in the high wind. The driver lost
control and ran up onto the shoulder, overcorrected, and then the bus hydroplaned
nearly two hundred feet before the back wheels caught traction on the shoulder
and the whole thing flipped. He said it was a tragic disaster , which was
really nothing more than words on a teleprompter to the newsman giving telling
the story.
At
first the reports only gave the numbers. I had no way of knowing if Shane had
lived or not. For all I knew, he was already gravely injured when he managed to
pull me out. After the news cycled again in the morning, they began to release
the names of those who perished.
“Angela
Ashton, twenty eight. George Ashton, thirty. Ray Engel, forty four…” the
reporter droned out the names somberly in alphabetical order. A photograph was
shown of the person that died to accompany each one. Some of the faces looked
familiar, passing glances I recalled from that day. Others I was sure I’d never
seen before.
“Five
passengers survived the accident, one of the worst on record for Jones County.
Three of them are still in critical condition.” Once the reporter concluded, I
switched off the television and sat in stunned silence.
To
my relief, Shane was not on the list of those killed. Twenty-two people in all,
including the driver, had perished. I shuddered to think how close I’d come to being
one of them. Most were from the large group we’d picked up in Raleigh. I continued
to listen each day, hoping to hear Shane’s name or see his face on the screen.
In that time, neither came, and I was eventually discharged. The locket, and
the man that saved my life, seemed lost to me.
I
wasn’t going to give up hope. He was still out there. Alive . Maybe he
would find me. Once I was better and I could leave mother for a while, if he
still hadn’t…well, I’d go looking for him myself. I wanted to thank him for
what he did, and maybe even take him up on his offer for a night out on the
town.
At
the end of the third day, after getting fed up with the bland food and the
infernal beeping of the machines all night long,
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