would take one date at a time.
Maybe this is just a friendship.
That I can do.
Hell, I need that type of friendship right now.
I look up at him. “I would love that Dane. Next week I pick?”
He salutes me and winks. “You’re on, see you next week.”
As I enter my house I can hear his footsteps slowly drifting away.
For the first time in ages, I feel calm. I don’t feel hollow. I talked about Saul. I felt like I had someone looking out for me, in the way Saul and Con used too.
As I walk up the stairs to bed I realise for the first time in ages I feel peace.
After flipping the channel on the television over for the hundredth time I throw the remote onto the sofa. I realise I get annoyed with inanimate objects a lot. I huff as though someone is there to hear me and ask me what’s wrong. I can feel the tightness across my eyebrows indicating I’m frowning. I’m frowning because I know that there is nobody here. It’s been two weeks now since Con left.
He hasn’t called!
He hasn’t texted!
He hasn’t emailed!
Con hasn’t even passed on a message to Soph for me.
Dane has called and we’ve decided to do something this week. He’s checking his schedule and getting back to me. It’s supposed to be my choice, but I seem to have lost my imagination because I can’t think of a single thing.
My doorbell signals a visitor and seeing as my already intimate circle of friends is now in a skeletal status, I know it can only be Soph. When I answer to door she looks at me and smiles a sad smile pulling me in for a hug.
“What’s that for?” I ask.
“No reason. You just look sad, Pea. I mean you’ve looked sad for years, but now you look kind of lost.”
I step back to let her in and wonder when everyone started reading me so well. We go into the lounge room and sit at opposite ends of my corner sofa and turn to face each other ready for a nag.
“Have you heard from Con?” I cut to the chase. If she knows what I’m thinking then she won’t be surprised.
“Yeah, he called last night. Late, last night. He said he was enjoying the work he’s been assigned. He said the pace of life over there is something else entirely. It sounds like he’s happy.” She eyes me, checking to see if I’m ready to break.
I laugh. “Good! I want happiness for him, above all else. I just wish he would talk to me. Two weeks without chatting isn’t something I’m used to. The last time that happened was…” I stop realising I’m the one to blame this time.
“You know, when all that shit happened before, Saul was the one to make me come out to you.”
I look at Soph. “What? You didn’t want to come out to see me?” I realise I’m a little hurt.
Soph winces. “It’s not that I didn’t want to come. I just thought that you needed space. I thought you’d tell me when you needed me. I’ve since learned that you need a kick up the backside to do anything. Let alone sort your head out.”
“I needed you. I needed you all. More than I ever had before. I was afraid to tell you. To ask for help. I was afraid that if I asked for help it meant it was real and that I’d done something wrong.”
Soph frowns and tilts her head slightly. “We are just talking about what happened with you and Con aren’t we?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, that and other stuff.” I grab a pillow and pick imaginary lint off of it.
“Pea?” I can hear so much more than just my name in what she’s asking. I remember that sad tone in Saul’s voice, and another flicks into my mind...
“Pea?” I heard along with a soft knock on my hotel door. I took a deep breath and let it out counting down from ten.
“Pea?” a little louder accompanied by a second knock.
I shuffled to the door and opened it widely letting Saul know non-verbally to come in.
He made his way inside and sat on my bed. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Straight to the point, Saul, you didn’t want to ease into it?” I asked with a
Maybe this is just a friendship.
That I can do.
Hell, I need that type of friendship right now.
I look up at him. “I would love that Dane. Next week I pick?”
He salutes me and winks. “You’re on, see you next week.”
As I enter my house I can hear his footsteps slowly drifting away.
For the first time in ages, I feel calm. I don’t feel hollow. I talked about Saul. I felt like I had someone looking out for me, in the way Saul and Con used too.
As I walk up the stairs to bed I realise for the first time in ages I feel peace.
After flipping the channel on the television over for the hundredth time I throw the remote onto the sofa. I realise I get annoyed with inanimate objects a lot. I huff as though someone is there to hear me and ask me what’s wrong. I can feel the tightness across my eyebrows indicating I’m frowning. I’m frowning because I know that there is nobody here. It’s been two weeks now since Con left.
He hasn’t called!
He hasn’t texted!
He hasn’t emailed!
Con hasn’t even passed on a message to Soph for me.
Dane has called and we’ve decided to do something this week. He’s checking his schedule and getting back to me. It’s supposed to be my choice, but I seem to have lost my imagination because I can’t think of a single thing.
My doorbell signals a visitor and seeing as my already intimate circle of friends is now in a skeletal status, I know it can only be Soph. When I answer to door she looks at me and smiles a sad smile pulling me in for a hug.
“What’s that for?” I ask.
“No reason. You just look sad, Pea. I mean you’ve looked sad for years, but now you look kind of lost.”
I step back to let her in and wonder when everyone started reading me so well. We go into the lounge room and sit at opposite ends of my corner sofa and turn to face each other ready for a nag.
“Have you heard from Con?” I cut to the chase. If she knows what I’m thinking then she won’t be surprised.
“Yeah, he called last night. Late, last night. He said he was enjoying the work he’s been assigned. He said the pace of life over there is something else entirely. It sounds like he’s happy.” She eyes me, checking to see if I’m ready to break.
I laugh. “Good! I want happiness for him, above all else. I just wish he would talk to me. Two weeks without chatting isn’t something I’m used to. The last time that happened was…” I stop realising I’m the one to blame this time.
“You know, when all that shit happened before, Saul was the one to make me come out to you.”
I look at Soph. “What? You didn’t want to come out to see me?” I realise I’m a little hurt.
Soph winces. “It’s not that I didn’t want to come. I just thought that you needed space. I thought you’d tell me when you needed me. I’ve since learned that you need a kick up the backside to do anything. Let alone sort your head out.”
“I needed you. I needed you all. More than I ever had before. I was afraid to tell you. To ask for help. I was afraid that if I asked for help it meant it was real and that I’d done something wrong.”
Soph frowns and tilts her head slightly. “We are just talking about what happened with you and Con aren’t we?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, that and other stuff.” I grab a pillow and pick imaginary lint off of it.
“Pea?” I can hear so much more than just my name in what she’s asking. I remember that sad tone in Saul’s voice, and another flicks into my mind...
“Pea?” I heard along with a soft knock on my hotel door. I took a deep breath and let it out counting down from ten.
“Pea?” a little louder accompanied by a second knock.
I shuffled to the door and opened it widely letting Saul know non-verbally to come in.
He made his way inside and sat on my bed. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“Straight to the point, Saul, you didn’t want to ease into it?” I asked with a
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