‘inner circle,’ and partly as a defence mechanism because of the kind of person I am. I keep my history very private too. I don’t like people talking about me with others and Soph knows that. Although she doesn’t have a filter so that probably doesn’t help.”
He stares at me with an unreadable expression on his face and I have no idea why I’m telling him this shit.
“I’ve known Soph for a few years now. She’s someone I think of as a good friend. We talk a fair amount and she has mentioned you before. I was curious, so I asked. I think she told me things, probably assuming that I’d never meet you. I’m not sure what secrets you might have Pea, but I’m sure she hasn’t told me them as I don’t know anything big.”
“So for years you’ve been talking about me, and yet I’ve never met you until a week ago? That’s not creepy much!” I’m annoyed now.
“Pea, it’s not how it seems. There are reasons behind everything. I just don’t want to lay my life story out right now.” He’s desperate, I can hear it in his tone.
I sigh. “Look Dane, I know I tend to overreact. A lot. But this is something I find difficult to deal with. I’m not an easy person to take… to have in your life. I’m high maintenance, and not because I want to be wined and dined, but emotionally. I take my toll on people. I know this so I keep a distance. I don’t like to whine. At the same time, I’m aware I can be a moaney bitch.” I stand up to leave and he grabs my arm.
“Pea, I’m sorry, but please don’t go. There’s so much I want to talk to you about, but I want to get to know you a bit first.”
I look between his hand on my arm and his face. He lets his hand slide from my arm with a hint of resignation. I can see disappointment on his face and something runs through me. I’m sick of people feeling disappointed in me. Somehow it’s even worse when it’s someone I don’t know all that well, yet I’ve already managed to upset them.
I slide back into my seat and his eyes light up.
“Dane, I’m my own brand of crazy. What makes it worse is that I feel so comfortable with you.” Maybe that’s too much honesty, but I’m on a roll. “I don’t even open up much to my friends. I mean I cut myself and my feelings off to everyone, as much as I can anyway, you seem to break down that barrier without even trying. It scares me. I find I’m telling you stuff, like right now, that I wouldn’t dream of telling others.” I take a deep breath and he must sense that I’m not finished because he keeps quiet whilst watching me intently. “Is this some sort of game to you? Chase around the sad case who normally sits at home alone and depressed? You know what, don’t answer that,” I whisper.
He stares into my eyes with what I would assume was love if I knew him better, but as I don’t it’s hard to place. “Pea, you can trust me. I’ll always have your best interests in my thoughts, before anything else when it comes to you” He looks down and fiddles with his jacket which he never even got a chance to put on the back of his chair. “It’s not a game,” he states firmly.
I glance around the restaurant, mainly to keep from looking at him. I notice, probably for the first time that there isn’t anyone else dining tonight, and that the wait staff haven’t been back to take our order and they all seem to be out the back.
“Where is everyone?” I question.
“I hired the restaurant out. I figured it might be a nice way to get to know each other a little better. No pressure.” He chuckles at the last part and I’m glad the evening seems to have moved on some.
I know my eyes widen at his confession.
“Blimey! The whole restaurant? That must’ve cost a bomb!” I stupidly state.
He just raises his eyebrows and smirks.
“So, do you think you could get the waiter so we can order? I’m starved.” I wink at him and continue, “First thing you need to know about me… I like my food.
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