and misbegetting—he’s gone into hiding, and they’re hunting for Tom.”
“I don’t follow the news from the Realm,” Iris said coldly. “I live as a law-abiding mortal these days. I haven’t practiced magic for years.”
“What about that Camilla kid just now?”
“She’s very shy.”
“Knickers!” said Lorna. “Either she’s drugged up to her eyeballs, or she’s under a spell.”
Iris scowled. “I told you, I don’t have anything to do with magic. I run a highly successful mortal school and I’m a thoroughly decent citizen.” She shot another toxicglance at Tom. “I’m sure I’d like to help, but there’s not much I can do.”
Tom was very disappointed, and Lorna was angry. “This is your godson!”
“Well, I’m sorry.” Iris did not sound sorry. “I don’t dabble in spells anymore. The best I can offer this demisprite is a sex change and a free place at the school.”
“A sex change!” Tom gasped. “I don’t want a sex change!”
“Iris, listen,” Lorna said. “I don’t like bothering you, but I didn’t know where else to turn!”
There was a knock at the door.
“Ah, that’s the Year Nine nature ramble coming back.” Iris Moth was suddenly brisk and businesslike. “Come in!”
Three girls came into the room. Two of them were lugging plastic bags. They had the same vacant, dreamy look as Camilla. Lorna was right, Tom thought; they had to be under a spell.
Taking no notice of Tom and Lorna, the girls stood in a silent row in front of the headmistress’s desk.
“Hello, my dears,” Iris said, with a sideways glance at Lorna. “I do hope you had a lovely ramble. Let’s see what you’ve brought back for the nature table.”
The first bag contained an elaborate gold clock, several sparkling necklaces and a large vase. “Eighteenth century—what a super specimen. Well done, Hester.”
“Thank you, Ms. Moth.”
“And Catriona, what about you?” Iris eagerly pulled the other bag towards her. “More Rolex watches! You do have such a talent for finding them lying about. Well done, dear.”
“Thank you, Ms. Moth.”
“And Leonora—surely you haven’t come back empty-handed?”
The third girl droned, “No, Ms. Moth.” She took something from the pocket of her navy cardigan. It was a wedge of banknotes the size of a brick.
“Crikey!” Lorna squeaked.
Iris glared at her, then smiled at the girl. “Well done—this lovely lot of … er … specimens will win you a house point, dear.”
“It came from the Abbey National,” said Leonora.
“Fascinating! Off you go, girls.”
The three girls trooped silently out of the room.
The moment the door had shut behind them Lorna burst out, “You steaming old HYPOCRITE! You haven’t given up magic at all—far from it! You’re using it to turn your girls into zombies who go out stealing for you—and you must need a heck of a lot of magic to keep off the mortal police!”
Iris shrugged crossly. “So what? A fairy has to make a living.”
“I manage to make an HONEST one,” Lorna said.
“I need the extra cash to give my school the edge—the top of the league.”
“So you do know enough magic to help my dad,” said Tom.
Iris looked at him, her stubby nose wrinkling with disgust. “No amount of magic can undo his crime.”
“Come off it, Iris!” cried Lorna. “Jonas hasn’t committed any crime!”
“According to the laws of the Realm, he has,” Iris hissed. “Why should I help this creature? His father broke Milly Falconer’s heart!”
“POOH!” yelled Lorna. “What do you care?”
“She was my dearest friend!”
“You were just sucking up to her because she was a Falconer and you’re a SNOB!”
Iris Moth’s lips were so thin they were almost invisible. “I was NOT sucking up! She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids! And then Jonas refused to marry her.”
“He didn’t refuse,” Tom said.
“What did you say?” Iris turned to gape at him in outraged astonishment,
“I don’t follow the news from the Realm,” Iris said coldly. “I live as a law-abiding mortal these days. I haven’t practiced magic for years.”
“What about that Camilla kid just now?”
“She’s very shy.”
“Knickers!” said Lorna. “Either she’s drugged up to her eyeballs, or she’s under a spell.”
Iris scowled. “I told you, I don’t have anything to do with magic. I run a highly successful mortal school and I’m a thoroughly decent citizen.” She shot another toxicglance at Tom. “I’m sure I’d like to help, but there’s not much I can do.”
Tom was very disappointed, and Lorna was angry. “This is your godson!”
“Well, I’m sorry.” Iris did not sound sorry. “I don’t dabble in spells anymore. The best I can offer this demisprite is a sex change and a free place at the school.”
“A sex change!” Tom gasped. “I don’t want a sex change!”
“Iris, listen,” Lorna said. “I don’t like bothering you, but I didn’t know where else to turn!”
There was a knock at the door.
“Ah, that’s the Year Nine nature ramble coming back.” Iris Moth was suddenly brisk and businesslike. “Come in!”
Three girls came into the room. Two of them were lugging plastic bags. They had the same vacant, dreamy look as Camilla. Lorna was right, Tom thought; they had to be under a spell.
Taking no notice of Tom and Lorna, the girls stood in a silent row in front of the headmistress’s desk.
“Hello, my dears,” Iris said, with a sideways glance at Lorna. “I do hope you had a lovely ramble. Let’s see what you’ve brought back for the nature table.”
The first bag contained an elaborate gold clock, several sparkling necklaces and a large vase. “Eighteenth century—what a super specimen. Well done, Hester.”
“Thank you, Ms. Moth.”
“And Catriona, what about you?” Iris eagerly pulled the other bag towards her. “More Rolex watches! You do have such a talent for finding them lying about. Well done, dear.”
“Thank you, Ms. Moth.”
“And Leonora—surely you haven’t come back empty-handed?”
The third girl droned, “No, Ms. Moth.” She took something from the pocket of her navy cardigan. It was a wedge of banknotes the size of a brick.
“Crikey!” Lorna squeaked.
Iris glared at her, then smiled at the girl. “Well done—this lovely lot of … er … specimens will win you a house point, dear.”
“It came from the Abbey National,” said Leonora.
“Fascinating! Off you go, girls.”
The three girls trooped silently out of the room.
The moment the door had shut behind them Lorna burst out, “You steaming old HYPOCRITE! You haven’t given up magic at all—far from it! You’re using it to turn your girls into zombies who go out stealing for you—and you must need a heck of a lot of magic to keep off the mortal police!”
Iris shrugged crossly. “So what? A fairy has to make a living.”
“I manage to make an HONEST one,” Lorna said.
“I need the extra cash to give my school the edge—the top of the league.”
“So you do know enough magic to help my dad,” said Tom.
Iris looked at him, her stubby nose wrinkling with disgust. “No amount of magic can undo his crime.”
“Come off it, Iris!” cried Lorna. “Jonas hasn’t committed any crime!”
“According to the laws of the Realm, he has,” Iris hissed. “Why should I help this creature? His father broke Milly Falconer’s heart!”
“POOH!” yelled Lorna. “What do you care?”
“She was my dearest friend!”
“You were just sucking up to her because she was a Falconer and you’re a SNOB!”
Iris Moth’s lips were so thin they were almost invisible. “I was NOT sucking up! She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids! And then Jonas refused to marry her.”
“He didn’t refuse,” Tom said.
“What did you say?” Iris turned to gape at him in outraged astonishment,
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