of things you don’t know about me son , he thought to himself, but remained quiet. “You’re going to fool around and get into trouble,” Metcalf said sternly.
John Metcalf’s tone and manner reminded Joshua of his granddaddy when he reprimanded him for coming home with whiskey on his breath; he was a junior in high school at the time. It was the first and only time he had disappointed his grandfather.
“I did what I thought was best for the child,” Joshua said defensively.
“I like working with you, Sheriff. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.”
“I like you too, John, but I don’t want to see that little girl grow up to be bought and sold like a piece of meat to some pervert that wants to molest her. To use her for his perverted pleasure and then trash her somewhere when he’s finished with her…”
Joshua’s mind traveled back to the summer of 1962. “You’re young son - you think you’ve seen some bad shit-you haven’t seen bad shit until you’ve seen a baby that’s been raped and murdered and then thrown in a pile of trash!”
Joshua did not mean to explode as he had. Moreover, it was not until he did that he realized what happened in the summer of ‘62 had a lot to do with why he was so dead set on keeping little Anna Leigh safe. He did not want to go there; he had shoved that event far out of his mind for years, but he had gone there. Even as an officer of the law, some things happen that are just so horrible that you push them to the back of your mind and then block them from your memories, so that you don’t have to relive the event or deal with the feelings it caused at the time.
Without a word to anyone, Joshua turned and walked out of the building. He got into his patrol car and drove straight home. It was the first time in years he had driven home in complete silence. There was no song in the world that could sooth his soul, at least not right then…
Ten
Judgment Day
Joshua poured a glass of whiskey, took a long swallow, and then rolled himself a joint. He was glad Roy McGregor had given him the bag of weed the week before. However, he was not certain the combination of the two would be enough to clear his mind of the images that had come to him in his moment of explosive recollection, causing him to off on John Metcalf. He hoped they would at least be enough to put him on an even keel through the process of remembering, dealing with it, and then putting it back where in belonged - a purposely forgotten memory.
As he drank and smoked, he let the images and the memories come. They eased in as he had hoped they would, letting him sort and arrange them in the order he needed them to be to cope with what happened that day.
It was full-blown summer, a beautiful warm day with hardly a cloud in the sky… not too hot or humid, even though it was mid-August. He had been making his rounds checking on things as he always did back then, when he had the urge to pee.
Joshua was up in the northern part of the county near Big Chippewa Lake, which stretched between the towns of Creola and Mount Vernon resulting in several bayous that nearly encircled the small towns. It was a far drive to either town to use the bathroom. However, something, a feeling that he needed to go down a specific dirt road drew him in that direction. The road was a well-known illegal dumping ground for residents who did not want to pay to have their garbage picked up and disposed of properly. They also disposed of old furniture and other miscellaneous items. Once, someone dumped an old Model T Ford there and a resident called the sheriff’s office figuring it was stolen; however, when they ran the VIN number and located the owner, he said that he hauled it in there… Joshua sighed. He had an odd feeling about going down the road. He had had ‘ odd ’ feelings most of his life. At the time, the only thing that truly worried him about driving down into the area was the thought that he might pick up a nail
John Metcalf’s tone and manner reminded Joshua of his granddaddy when he reprimanded him for coming home with whiskey on his breath; he was a junior in high school at the time. It was the first and only time he had disappointed his grandfather.
“I did what I thought was best for the child,” Joshua said defensively.
“I like working with you, Sheriff. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job.”
“I like you too, John, but I don’t want to see that little girl grow up to be bought and sold like a piece of meat to some pervert that wants to molest her. To use her for his perverted pleasure and then trash her somewhere when he’s finished with her…”
Joshua’s mind traveled back to the summer of 1962. “You’re young son - you think you’ve seen some bad shit-you haven’t seen bad shit until you’ve seen a baby that’s been raped and murdered and then thrown in a pile of trash!”
Joshua did not mean to explode as he had. Moreover, it was not until he did that he realized what happened in the summer of ‘62 had a lot to do with why he was so dead set on keeping little Anna Leigh safe. He did not want to go there; he had shoved that event far out of his mind for years, but he had gone there. Even as an officer of the law, some things happen that are just so horrible that you push them to the back of your mind and then block them from your memories, so that you don’t have to relive the event or deal with the feelings it caused at the time.
Without a word to anyone, Joshua turned and walked out of the building. He got into his patrol car and drove straight home. It was the first time in years he had driven home in complete silence. There was no song in the world that could sooth his soul, at least not right then…
Ten
Judgment Day
Joshua poured a glass of whiskey, took a long swallow, and then rolled himself a joint. He was glad Roy McGregor had given him the bag of weed the week before. However, he was not certain the combination of the two would be enough to clear his mind of the images that had come to him in his moment of explosive recollection, causing him to off on John Metcalf. He hoped they would at least be enough to put him on an even keel through the process of remembering, dealing with it, and then putting it back where in belonged - a purposely forgotten memory.
As he drank and smoked, he let the images and the memories come. They eased in as he had hoped they would, letting him sort and arrange them in the order he needed them to be to cope with what happened that day.
It was full-blown summer, a beautiful warm day with hardly a cloud in the sky… not too hot or humid, even though it was mid-August. He had been making his rounds checking on things as he always did back then, when he had the urge to pee.
Joshua was up in the northern part of the county near Big Chippewa Lake, which stretched between the towns of Creola and Mount Vernon resulting in several bayous that nearly encircled the small towns. It was a far drive to either town to use the bathroom. However, something, a feeling that he needed to go down a specific dirt road drew him in that direction. The road was a well-known illegal dumping ground for residents who did not want to pay to have their garbage picked up and disposed of properly. They also disposed of old furniture and other miscellaneous items. Once, someone dumped an old Model T Ford there and a resident called the sheriff’s office figuring it was stolen; however, when they ran the VIN number and located the owner, he said that he hauled it in there… Joshua sighed. He had an odd feeling about going down the road. He had had ‘ odd ’ feelings most of his life. At the time, the only thing that truly worried him about driving down into the area was the thought that he might pick up a nail
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