Miss Me When the Sun Goes Down by Lisa Olsen

ask for your love now.  I merely mean to lay the cards out on the table, as they say.  I would have your love in your own time under your own terms.  I wish to start anew with you, but I seek to hide nothing.  That is why I showed you the flawed history of that ring.  That is why I freely admit my mistakes, if only to show how much I’ve changed for you.”
    “For me… you should change for yourself,” I murmured, taking in the heady words.  If he was to be believed, that gave me a lot of power over him.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.  I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of it.  “If you’re so big on not compelling me to feel anything one way or the other, what about the ring then?  Why do I feel so uncomfortable every time I even think about taking it off?  And why didn’t I remember anything about you when I first woke up in the morgue?”
    “Ah, those things you must forgive me .”  His head hung again, but I could tell from the smile that lurked around his eyes that he wasn’t truly sorry for them.  “I didn’t say I’d never compelled you in any way, only that I haven’t compelled you to love me.”
    “Okay,” I waved him on, “let’s have it then.  What did you do to mess with my head?”  Depending on his answer, I was so out of there…
    “The ring was selfish I suppose. I wanted you to keep something of mine with you, always.  It’s nothing more sinister than that.”
    “And the second?”
    “The second compulsion was for your protection as well as mine.  I couldn’t openly claim you, it seemed safer to keep any knowledge of your Sire hidden until I could come for you myself.”
    Safer?  His definition of the word clearly didn’t mesh with mine.  It all smacked of half truths, but I didn’t know where to apply pressure to get him to fold (if such a thing was even possible).  “Why did you leave me that night?  The night you turned me.”
    A breath filled his lungs for an impossibly long time before he let it out in a slow exhalation.  “I hadn ’t meant to.  I made my preparations in an out of the way place, the better to keep from drawing any undue attention.” 
    “I remember it,” I murmured, thinking back to the runes carved into the floor and the handmade mattress soaked with my blood.  More than that, I remembered Bishop taking me through the abandoned house, teaching me to extend my newly heightened senses – something my Sire should have done himself.  “What made you leave me there for the paramedics to find?”
    “Bad luck,” he replied, and there was no guile in the shrug of his sh oulders.  “Almost as soon as I finished the ritual there were shots fired in the area, and a police search began.  I was weakened by the giving of my blood.”  Interesting.   “The police came in, and I chose to leave and trust in your instincts to protect you rather than risk detection, it’s as simple as that.  I’d planned to retrieve you from the hospital with none the wiser, but I learned the Order was involved by then, and it seemed prudent to stay away.”
    I’d just about been swayed by the logic of his explanation when the last bit caught my attention.  “Wait, then you knew the Order was involved and you still didn’t come forward?” I balked.  “I almost ended up in vampire jail or worse.  You know I didn’t have the proper license.  What if they’d killed me on sight?”
    Jakob’s chuckle prickled my already irritated temper, but he seemed not to notice.  “Clearly you survived quite well on your own, petal.  You’re more resourceful than you give yourself credit for, but I was prepared to step in if needed.” 
    Okay, s o I wasn’t in mortal danger that whole time.  Cool beans.  I couldn’t help thinking that might’ve been nice to know at the time.  There didn’t seem to be much point in scolding him over it though, considering it was one of the least awful things he’d done.  “Will you tell me why you’re