probably sheâd smile at first, but when I persist in asking the same question to the staff and even the guests, sheâd politely ask me to leave. And when I tell her I wonât budge an inch until Iâve learned where Mary is, reluctant to throw me out by force, sheâd inform the Brazilian embassy. But I wouldnât give up. Iâd keep the people from the embassy busy for hours, asking them, âWhereâs Mary? Whereâs Mary? Where
is
Mary?â
âAnd then what? I suppose, thinking that I must have lost my mind, theyâd send me home on the first available flight with a report in my hand saying I was crazy. At the airport, thereâd be men in white coats waiting to take me by the arm and escort me to the nearest psychiatric hospital.
âWell, thatâd be good news, Mom. Because thatâs the
only
place I can find Mary.â
15
I T WAS AS IF all the tall chestnut-haired girls in Rio had convened in the park and as if theyâd all agreed to look like Diana. As soon as they got nearer, however, the artist was once again left disappointed. For the past two evenings heâd waited for Diana in the same place, but she hadnât shown up.
He scolded himself for not keeping to his schedule all for the sake of a girl whom he knew wasnât right for him, but he just couldnât get himself to leave the park.
For a long time now, ever since heâd lost confidence in the trial and error approach to love affairs, the artist hadnât been involved in a relationship. In time, heâd come to the realization that each new relationship inevitably meant a new separation, so heâd decided to seek refuge in the turbulence-free state of being single.
Previously, heâd regarded every parting as a preparation for the next relationship and hadnât thought that heâd lost anything. But with time heâd come to understand that the ruins of a previous relationship were carried over into the next one.
Heâd also realized that most people thought they were the ones who had been wronged when a relationship ended. They all thought theyâd given much of themselves while their partner hadnât responded in the same way.
This had been the case for both him and his last girlfriend when theyâd parted three years ago. For weeks heâd tried to understand this discrepancy. How could it be that both parties believed they were the ones whoâd been wronged? One day, as he was watching two seagulls flying, he found the answer heâd been looking for.
T HAT DAY HEâD set up his easel on the cliffs, a short distance from where he lived. As he was absorbed in his painting, a seagull distracted him by taking off from a nearby cliff and diving down toward the water. Immediately, another seagull followed, launching itself from the cliff opposite, swooping down seawards toward the same place. Just as both were a hairâs breadth from the water, in danger of colliding, a series of maneuvers took them up into the sky again. As if embracing each other with their wings, they rose in concert to a height far above the level of the cliffs from which theyâd taken off.
As he watched the flight of these two seagulls, the artist thought that perhaps to be attached, first one needed to become unattached.
However, most people entered into new relationships carrying all their old ties with them. Whether what they carried from the past were feelings of mistrust, being misunderstood or a defensive wall, those old ties prevented them from living the new relationship freely. Maybe they were right in thinking they had been wronged in their previous relationships; but what they failed to see was that it wasnât their partner whoâd wronged them but their own past, which they hadnât been able to leave behind.
These two seagulls coming from different cliffs had been able to leave their âpastâ place and descend to sea level, to
is
Mary?â
âAnd then what? I suppose, thinking that I must have lost my mind, theyâd send me home on the first available flight with a report in my hand saying I was crazy. At the airport, thereâd be men in white coats waiting to take me by the arm and escort me to the nearest psychiatric hospital.
âWell, thatâd be good news, Mom. Because thatâs the
only
place I can find Mary.â
15
I T WAS AS IF all the tall chestnut-haired girls in Rio had convened in the park and as if theyâd all agreed to look like Diana. As soon as they got nearer, however, the artist was once again left disappointed. For the past two evenings heâd waited for Diana in the same place, but she hadnât shown up.
He scolded himself for not keeping to his schedule all for the sake of a girl whom he knew wasnât right for him, but he just couldnât get himself to leave the park.
For a long time now, ever since heâd lost confidence in the trial and error approach to love affairs, the artist hadnât been involved in a relationship. In time, heâd come to the realization that each new relationship inevitably meant a new separation, so heâd decided to seek refuge in the turbulence-free state of being single.
Previously, heâd regarded every parting as a preparation for the next relationship and hadnât thought that heâd lost anything. But with time heâd come to understand that the ruins of a previous relationship were carried over into the next one.
Heâd also realized that most people thought they were the ones who had been wronged when a relationship ended. They all thought theyâd given much of themselves while their partner hadnât responded in the same way.
This had been the case for both him and his last girlfriend when theyâd parted three years ago. For weeks heâd tried to understand this discrepancy. How could it be that both parties believed they were the ones whoâd been wronged? One day, as he was watching two seagulls flying, he found the answer heâd been looking for.
T HAT DAY HEâD set up his easel on the cliffs, a short distance from where he lived. As he was absorbed in his painting, a seagull distracted him by taking off from a nearby cliff and diving down toward the water. Immediately, another seagull followed, launching itself from the cliff opposite, swooping down seawards toward the same place. Just as both were a hairâs breadth from the water, in danger of colliding, a series of maneuvers took them up into the sky again. As if embracing each other with their wings, they rose in concert to a height far above the level of the cliffs from which theyâd taken off.
As he watched the flight of these two seagulls, the artist thought that perhaps to be attached, first one needed to become unattached.
However, most people entered into new relationships carrying all their old ties with them. Whether what they carried from the past were feelings of mistrust, being misunderstood or a defensive wall, those old ties prevented them from living the new relationship freely. Maybe they were right in thinking they had been wronged in their previous relationships; but what they failed to see was that it wasnât their partner whoâd wronged them but their own past, which they hadnât been able to leave behind.
These two seagulls coming from different cliffs had been able to leave their âpastâ place and descend to sea level, to
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