was everywhere. Whether we were married to other people or not, he was always there.
He would look at me, his eyes dark, powerful—the same look he’d had before, when we were making love. I felt the color drain from my face.
Oh my God.
He was in love with me .
Judy got up. “Go find him. Talk to him.”
I sat there for a moment, waiting for her to leave before I headed through the office to find Andrew Hawkins, and get to the bottom of this.
Rats. Andy’s office was empty.
I looked at his personal stuff. Everything was orderly and nice, just like how he kept his house. No notes cluttered his desk—all were tucked into the little cheap envelope holder at the side of his computer. All the pieces on his desk were mismatched, bought for functionality rather than attractiveness. His office was larger than mine, nicer carpet, but he occasionally met with clients here.
I never met with clients at all. I stayed in my little room and made the magic winning him those clients.
My fingers caressed a bookshelf he’d littered with pictures of his family. His sister Andrea and her husband Jake. Couple of shots of their kids—the little boy and girl, though I couldn’t remember their names. One more picture with Andrea, their mom Darlene, his grandmother Iris, and Andrea’s daughter. The four-generation picture came out well; everyone dressed in bright red shirts, sitting on a bench in the park. Well, it could have been a backdrop, but it looked nice if it was.
God, Christmas at his house. That’s just the immediate family. Hawkins had a butt-load of cousins, his mother being one of five kids, all of which had teenaged or adult children, and some of those had kids.
I’d have to be drinking heavily to get through a day with all that craziness. Maybe a flask under my—
“What are you doing in here?” Hawkins’s voice jerked me out of my thoughts, and I spun around.
He glared at me like I was evil incarnate.
“I was coming over here to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
He brushed past me and headed for his desk. Jerking open the door, he scowled as he got something out—probably his car keys.
“No, you’re going to talk to me. I want to know what the hell I did to screw up.”
He stared at me with an expression empty of any compassion. I’d never actually seen that kind of look from him, and it made me sick.
“I don’t think we need to spend any more time together. I think our relationship has run its course.”
I stared at him, my jaw on the floor. “You can’t be serious.”
“It’s obvious you and I are looking for different things.”
“And what is that?”
“I’ve been very clear about what I want. You do not want the same thing.”
I blinked. “I don’t want to lose you.”
His eyes were cold. “You already have.”
I wasn’t letting go without a fight. “You were the one who was so desperate to get in my bed Saturday night. You were the one who pushed, buddy.”
“And now I realize you don’t consider me anything more than a warm body. If I’m just a bed buddy when you get the urge, I’m not interested. I’m too old for stupid high school shit.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “So what do you want, Andy? Do you want me to profess some undying love for you I’ve kept hidden for the last twenty years? Jump up and down and cry from the rooftops screaming I’m madly in love with you and I can’t live without you?”
“Something like that.”
I shook my head. “Then I guess this relationship is over.”
“Leave now.”
I turned and walked out. It was a good thing too, because I was crying by the time I got to my car.
Chapter Ten
Wednesday, Christmas Eve
As tradition dictated, Andrew was at his mother’s house on Christmas Eve, dressed in his best suit, to go with the family to church. His sister and her husband had shown up earlier in the day for the Christmas holiday, with their children in tow.
And though they were dressed
He would look at me, his eyes dark, powerful—the same look he’d had before, when we were making love. I felt the color drain from my face.
Oh my God.
He was in love with me .
Judy got up. “Go find him. Talk to him.”
I sat there for a moment, waiting for her to leave before I headed through the office to find Andrew Hawkins, and get to the bottom of this.
Rats. Andy’s office was empty.
I looked at his personal stuff. Everything was orderly and nice, just like how he kept his house. No notes cluttered his desk—all were tucked into the little cheap envelope holder at the side of his computer. All the pieces on his desk were mismatched, bought for functionality rather than attractiveness. His office was larger than mine, nicer carpet, but he occasionally met with clients here.
I never met with clients at all. I stayed in my little room and made the magic winning him those clients.
My fingers caressed a bookshelf he’d littered with pictures of his family. His sister Andrea and her husband Jake. Couple of shots of their kids—the little boy and girl, though I couldn’t remember their names. One more picture with Andrea, their mom Darlene, his grandmother Iris, and Andrea’s daughter. The four-generation picture came out well; everyone dressed in bright red shirts, sitting on a bench in the park. Well, it could have been a backdrop, but it looked nice if it was.
God, Christmas at his house. That’s just the immediate family. Hawkins had a butt-load of cousins, his mother being one of five kids, all of which had teenaged or adult children, and some of those had kids.
I’d have to be drinking heavily to get through a day with all that craziness. Maybe a flask under my—
“What are you doing in here?” Hawkins’s voice jerked me out of my thoughts, and I spun around.
He glared at me like I was evil incarnate.
“I was coming over here to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
He brushed past me and headed for his desk. Jerking open the door, he scowled as he got something out—probably his car keys.
“No, you’re going to talk to me. I want to know what the hell I did to screw up.”
He stared at me with an expression empty of any compassion. I’d never actually seen that kind of look from him, and it made me sick.
“I don’t think we need to spend any more time together. I think our relationship has run its course.”
I stared at him, my jaw on the floor. “You can’t be serious.”
“It’s obvious you and I are looking for different things.”
“And what is that?”
“I’ve been very clear about what I want. You do not want the same thing.”
I blinked. “I don’t want to lose you.”
His eyes were cold. “You already have.”
I wasn’t letting go without a fight. “You were the one who was so desperate to get in my bed Saturday night. You were the one who pushed, buddy.”
“And now I realize you don’t consider me anything more than a warm body. If I’m just a bed buddy when you get the urge, I’m not interested. I’m too old for stupid high school shit.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “So what do you want, Andy? Do you want me to profess some undying love for you I’ve kept hidden for the last twenty years? Jump up and down and cry from the rooftops screaming I’m madly in love with you and I can’t live without you?”
“Something like that.”
I shook my head. “Then I guess this relationship is over.”
“Leave now.”
I turned and walked out. It was a good thing too, because I was crying by the time I got to my car.
Chapter Ten
Wednesday, Christmas Eve
As tradition dictated, Andrew was at his mother’s house on Christmas Eve, dressed in his best suit, to go with the family to church. His sister and her husband had shown up earlier in the day for the Christmas holiday, with their children in tow.
And though they were dressed
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