had thoughtfully grabbed a schedule. “Let’s see…Welcome, intros, some announcement from the MCB, a couple of keynote speeches…About two hours. Then the luncheon, then the panels start…And you two had damn well better be attending the ones I’m on. The keynote address is at six.”
Earl and I groaned simultaneously. “I’m gonna need a smoke.” Earl got up to sneak out.
“Bring me back a plate of those little sausages and some cheese balls, would you?” I asked.
Regardless of what business you’re in, these sorts of things were always the same. Introduce yourself. Applause. Introduce everybody else. Applause. Tell a lame joke. Applause. Thank everyone and their dog…I mean, come on, the people in this room kill supernatural beings for a living…How could you possibly make that tedious? Yet somehow, they did. The master of ceremonies was long-winded and I was quickly bored. It didn’t help that Milo kept texting me every so often about something else that I was missing. Z! I met Ted Nugent and got his autograph! He was cool. Followed ten minutes later with Found secret killer robot company! Going for a test drive! LOL! If I hadn’t known Milo was such a nice guy I would’ve sworn that he was tormenting me on purpose. Picking up more awesome free samples! 20mm cannon! The number of bodies crammed in made it too warm, and per Julie’s insistence, I’d worn a tie, which made it more stuffy, all of which made me want to take a nap.
When the MC introduced the guests of honor, he mentioned that an invitation had been extended to Raymond Shackleford the Third, owner of Monster Hunter International, but that he’d been unable to attend due to health reasons. Which was partially true, with the other part being that he’d simply thought the whole thing had sounded boring and being a guest of honor was pretentious. When they said the boss’s name, all of the members of MHI, myself included, gave him a standing ovation. I was happy to see that several members from some of the foreign teams stood up out of respect too. They should. He was a living legend.
“Aw, Grandpa would’ve really liked that,” Julie said.
That part was interesting, but then it was back to thanking the generous organizers of this illustrious secret gathering and all that jazz. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, so I think I might have nodded off for a minute or two when Julie elbowed me awake. “Huh? What?” Had I been snoring?
“Did you catch that?”
“What?” And then I noticed that there was a general murmur going through the audience.
“The next speaker is the new director of the Monster Control Bureau, and it isn’t Myers.”
Dwayne Myers had been running the MCB since right after I’d first been mauled by a werewolf, but he had only been the interim director, pending congressional approval. The previous real director had been run out because of some scandal. Myers had been running things for so long that I had always just assumed he would end up officially in charge. Myers was a complete jerk, but he was also a ruthlessly efficient jerk. I perked up. Hunters had no choice but to deal with the MCB, so this announcement could go either way.
“What’s his name?”
“Douglas Stark. Sounds familiar, but I can’t remember from where. Ringing any bells?”
“Never heard of him.” I looked around for Earl, since he knew everybody, but he wasn’t back yet. “A new guy, huh? How bad could he be?”
“Never say that about the MCB,” Julie hissed. “You’ll jinx us!”
The MC got out of the way and a stocky man with bulldog jowls entered from behind the curtains. He walked across the stage with a swagger, took his place at the podium to sporadic and lackluster applause, reached into his suit, took out a piece of paper, cleared his throat, and began to read his speech. “Thank you, Ken. Thank you, everyone, for the warm welcome.” The dozen or so MCB agents that were actually clapping stopped. “I’m Special
Earl and I groaned simultaneously. “I’m gonna need a smoke.” Earl got up to sneak out.
“Bring me back a plate of those little sausages and some cheese balls, would you?” I asked.
Regardless of what business you’re in, these sorts of things were always the same. Introduce yourself. Applause. Introduce everybody else. Applause. Tell a lame joke. Applause. Thank everyone and their dog…I mean, come on, the people in this room kill supernatural beings for a living…How could you possibly make that tedious? Yet somehow, they did. The master of ceremonies was long-winded and I was quickly bored. It didn’t help that Milo kept texting me every so often about something else that I was missing. Z! I met Ted Nugent and got his autograph! He was cool. Followed ten minutes later with Found secret killer robot company! Going for a test drive! LOL! If I hadn’t known Milo was such a nice guy I would’ve sworn that he was tormenting me on purpose. Picking up more awesome free samples! 20mm cannon! The number of bodies crammed in made it too warm, and per Julie’s insistence, I’d worn a tie, which made it more stuffy, all of which made me want to take a nap.
When the MC introduced the guests of honor, he mentioned that an invitation had been extended to Raymond Shackleford the Third, owner of Monster Hunter International, but that he’d been unable to attend due to health reasons. Which was partially true, with the other part being that he’d simply thought the whole thing had sounded boring and being a guest of honor was pretentious. When they said the boss’s name, all of the members of MHI, myself included, gave him a standing ovation. I was happy to see that several members from some of the foreign teams stood up out of respect too. They should. He was a living legend.
“Aw, Grandpa would’ve really liked that,” Julie said.
That part was interesting, but then it was back to thanking the generous organizers of this illustrious secret gathering and all that jazz. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, so I think I might have nodded off for a minute or two when Julie elbowed me awake. “Huh? What?” Had I been snoring?
“Did you catch that?”
“What?” And then I noticed that there was a general murmur going through the audience.
“The next speaker is the new director of the Monster Control Bureau, and it isn’t Myers.”
Dwayne Myers had been running the MCB since right after I’d first been mauled by a werewolf, but he had only been the interim director, pending congressional approval. The previous real director had been run out because of some scandal. Myers had been running things for so long that I had always just assumed he would end up officially in charge. Myers was a complete jerk, but he was also a ruthlessly efficient jerk. I perked up. Hunters had no choice but to deal with the MCB, so this announcement could go either way.
“What’s his name?”
“Douglas Stark. Sounds familiar, but I can’t remember from where. Ringing any bells?”
“Never heard of him.” I looked around for Earl, since he knew everybody, but he wasn’t back yet. “A new guy, huh? How bad could he be?”
“Never say that about the MCB,” Julie hissed. “You’ll jinx us!”
The MC got out of the way and a stocky man with bulldog jowls entered from behind the curtains. He walked across the stage with a swagger, took his place at the podium to sporadic and lackluster applause, reached into his suit, took out a piece of paper, cleared his throat, and began to read his speech. “Thank you, Ken. Thank you, everyone, for the warm welcome.” The dozen or so MCB agents that were actually clapping stopped. “I’m Special
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