My Forever by Jolene Perry Page B

that. I want to tell him I know it’s my fault. He doesn’t have to worry. He shouldn’t feel guilty. But I don’t.
     
    I’m walking home from school. It’s spring but early spring which means that the snow on the sidewalk has turned to ice and someone, in their wonderful wisdom has put a bunch of dirt on it which really just makes muddy ice. I turn on my street and almost run into Zack. Wow, it’s been a long time. A way long time. How did that happen?
     
    “Are you avoiding me?” He zips his black hoodie up a little tighter. It’s the one with Calvin and Hobbes on the front and usually I tickle Hobbes, just as an excuse to touch him in places I normally wouldn’t. Today I don’t even feel the urge.
     
    “No.” I pause. “I don’t know.” Probably I am. I usually call him and initiate us getting together , and I haven’t. Now it’s just one more thing adding weight to my chest. One more place I’m really screwing up.
     
    “Did I do something?” h e asks. His hoodie is pulled tightly around his pale face so I can barely see him .
     
    “We’re not dating Zack. We’re just friends.” Okay, I know this is the lamest thing ever to say , and part of me cringes as it comes out.
     
    “We’re not really friends if we never see each other.” He kicks some ice-dirt around under his feet.
     
    He also makes a good point.
     
    “I got myself in some trouble, that’s all. I knew you’d be mad so I’m avoiding.” Is honesty the best thing here? Wouldn’t it be better if he didn’t know?
     
    “Oh.”
     
    “Sorry Zack.” I really am lame, like the worst person ever.
     
    “So we’re not friends?” he asks.
     
    “I’m pregnant, ” I tell him.
     
    His face falls , and I feel a small pang in my chest for him , and for me . “I’m sorry.”
     
    Without a word, he turns back toward his house, and I continue on to mine. The pain in my chest spreads , and I want to cry for like the millionth time since the pregnancy test. Today officially sucks.
     
    ~ ~ ~
     
    “Hey Dani ?” I stop in the dark kitchen at the sound of my dad’s voice. I can see my parents in the living room, but don’t know where everyone else is. “Why don’t you come in here a minute. W e haven’t talked in a while.”
     
    It’s my dad who wants to be doing some sort of ‘catch-up’ with his daughter. This is it. He knows, or I’m going to end up telling him. I know it. I can feel it , and I have no idea what I’m going to say or how it’s going to happen
,
but it’s all about to come out.
     
    “Hey, Mom. H ey , Dad.” I try to sound casual as I walk in and sit down. I do pretty well considering that it feels like my body is about to shake apart.
     
    “How’s the play going?” he asks. There’s more than curiosity in his voice. He’s fishing.
     
    “Okay.” I’m avoiding.
     
    “I’m a little concerned because it seems like you’re gone from here for a lot more afternoons than you’re helping there , and I wanted to know what you were doing with that time away from home?” He looks at me expectantly. Mom is next to him, allowing him to handle the ‘situation.’
     
    “I’m pregnant.” It just comes out. It actually seems safer to tell my dad that I’m pregnant than hanging out with the Mormon kids at their church. How’s that for crazy?
     
    “What!” My mom stands up behind him. She’s not mad. She’s pissed. Dad’s face is turning several colors of purply red and my mom’s body trembles with anger.
     
    D ad waves his hand back for her to sit down. She does it. Just one little wave of his hand and she sits. Every part of her still shows anger and disbelief. Her face, her shoulders, her hands in fists.
     
    My dad clears his throat. “Who’s the father?” He means to be answered.
     
    “It’s not important
,
D
ad,” I answer quietly. I’m not going to tell him. I can’t do that to Lucas.
     
    He growls out a chuckle. It’s not a good sound. “Oh, no. It is definitely