Myth-Ing Persons by Robert Asprin Page A

current resident in our fair jail is none other than your sidekick Aahz?"
    "To be correct, that's Pervect, not Pervert… but except for that you're right. That's my partner you've got locked up there, and we aim to get him out."
    I was probably talking too much, but being recognized in a dimension I'd never heard of had thrown me off balance. Then again, the Dispatcher didn't seem all that hostile at the discovery. More curious than anything else.
    "Well, well. Skeeve himself. I never expected to meet you in person. Sometime you must tell me what you did to that poor fellow to rate the number-one slot on his hit parade of nightmares."
    "What about Aahz?" I said impatiently.
    "You know he's up for murder, don't you?"
    "Heard it. Don't believe it. He's a lot of things, but a murderer isn't one of them."
    "There's a fair amount of evidence." Vilhelm shrugged. "But tell me. What's with the vampire getup. You're no more a vampire than I'm a Klahd."
    "It's a long story. Let's just say it seemed to be the local uniform."
    "Let's not," the dispatcher grinned. "Pull up a chair… free of charge, of course. I've got time and lots of questions about the other dimensions. Maybe we can trade a little information while you're here."

Chapter Seven
    "I don't see anything thrilling about it!""
    -M. JACKSON
    "I really don't see how you can drink that stuff," I declared, eyeing Vilhelm's goblet of blood.
    "Funny," he smiled in return, "I was about to say the same thing. I mean, you know what W. C. Fields said about water!"
    "No. What?"
    "Now let me get this straight," Guido interrupted before I could get any answer. "You're sayin' you vampire guys don't really drink blood from people?"
    "Oh, a few do," the Dispatcher said with a shrug. "But it's an acquired taste, like steak tartare. Some say it's a gourmet dish, but I could never stand the stuff myself. I'll stick with the inexpensive domestic varieties any night."
    We were all sprawled around the Dispatcher's office at this point, sipping our respective drinks and getting into a pretty good rap session. We had pulled Guido in off door watch and I had dropped our disguises so my energy reserve wasn't being drained.
    The Dispatcher had played with his phones, calling from one to the other. Then he put them all down and announced that he had them on "hold," a curious expression since it was the first time in half an hour he hadn't been holding one.
    Vilhelm himself was turning out to be a priceless source of information, and, as promised, had a seemingly insatiable curiosity about otherworldly things.
    "Then how do you account for all the vampire legends around the other dimensions," Massha said skeptically.
    The Dispatcher made a face.
    "First of all, you've got to realize who you're dealing with. Most of the ones who do extensive touring outside of Limbo are 'old money' types. We're talking about the idle rich… and that usually equates to bored thrill seekers. Working stiffs like me can't afford to take that kind of time away from our jobs. Heck, I can hardly manage to get my two weeks each year. Anyway, there are a lot more of us around the dimensions than you might realize. It's just that the level-headed ones are content to maintain a low profile and blend with the natives. They content themselves with the blood of domestic livestock, much the way we do here at home. It's the others that cause the problems. Like any group of tourists, there's always a few who feel that just because they're in another world or city, the rules don't apply… and that includes common manners and good taste. They're the ones who stir up trouble by getting the locals up in arms about 'bloodsucking monsters.' If it makes you feel any better, you human types have a pretty bad rep yourselves here in Limbo."
    That caught my attention.
    "Could you elaborate on that last point, Vilhelm?
    What problem could the locals have with us?"
    The Dispatcher laughed.
    "The same one you humans have with us vampires. While