safety before we left home. My guys aren’t going anywhere near open water unless there’s a guard rail.”
“HURRY! HE CAN’T SWIM!”
“Oh, God, it’s one of mine.” I dodged around market goers and hurdled pools of melted ice cream as I pounded across the cobblestones. “Hold on! I’m coming!”
Clackclackcclackclackclack. “I’ll get this one!” Jackie sped past me on her long legs, hair flying and armspumping. “I owe you. Out of the way!” she yelled in a gruff baritone. “I’m comin’ through!”
Onlookers leaped out of her path as she barreled toward the end of the quay. Kicking off her stilettoes, she made a spectacular running leap into midair and plunged into the harbor with a resounding—
“Wait! My sweater!”
Splat!
“That was actually quite refreshing,” Jackie said as we hoofed it back to the hotel an hour later.
“I’m glad you thought so,” I said tightly.
“I recognize that tone, Emily, so you might as well come right out and say it. You’re still mad.”
“It was my favorite sweater in all the world, Jack! Now look at it.” The sleeves hung below her hands like sock puppets. The bottom drooped to her thighs. “It’s a plus size minidress.”
“Would you rather I’d let George drown?”
“No! But I could have saved him. And here’s the important part: I’m not wearing cashmere!”
“Well, ex c uuu se me. Who packs cashmere to go on vacation anyway?”
“We’re going to be traveling above the Arctic Circle. I even threw in a scarf and mittens because… it’s supposed to get cold! ”
She stopped in her tracks. “Really?”
“Didn’t you look at the map?”
“Nah. I’m not good with maps anymore.” She bobbed her head sheepishly. “You know, the girl thing.”
I sighed with resignation. “All these other issuesaside, Jack, I really appreciate what you did for George. Thanks.”
“No problem. He should think about getting that artificial leg of his replaced with a lighter material, though. It dragged him down so fast, I had to dive twice to find him.”
“It’s not the leg; it’s the steel-toed boots. What he really needs to replace is his footwear.”
I looked up and down the boulevard and across the street to the shaded lawns of Esplanade park, where an outdoor aerobics class was being conducted for stunning blonds with tanned legs and no body fat. “Do you see a shoe store around here?”
“Nope, but I wouldn’t mind browsing in the one behind you.”
The store was called Aarikka, and the shopfront displayed a unique assortment of Finnish-made necklaces that were strung with wooden beads stained in eye-popping colors.
“Ooo,” Jackie cooed. “See the fuschia-and-plum one? That has my name on it. Or maybe the seafoam and teal.”
“Tell me something, Jack, how did you know I was still ticked off about my sweater? If we were still married and I’d said I wasn’t upset, you’d have believed me.”
“That’s because I’ve learned the secret code. ‘No’ means ‘yes.’ ‘Yes’ means ‘no.’ ‘No, I’m not upset,’ means, ‘Of course I’m upset, you moron.’ It all makes so much sense now. No wonder I acted so dense when I was a guy. I didn’t know there was a code.”
“You wanna go inside?”
She studied her soggy reflection in the plate glass. “They’ll never let me in the door dripping seawater. Tell you what, you stay here and shop for a new sweater on my dime, and I’ll change clothes and meet up with you later.” She reached inside her purse and handed me a fistful of currency. “If that’s not enough, I’ll make up the difference back at the room.”
“You don’t have to do this, Jack. I know you meant well.”
“I ruined your sweater, so I need to pay for it.”
“You’re making me feel guilty.”
She flashed a smile with her blindingly white teeth. “I’m gettin’ good at this female stuff, aren’t I?”
“What time do you want to meet up?”
“Let’s just wing it.
“HURRY! HE CAN’T SWIM!”
“Oh, God, it’s one of mine.” I dodged around market goers and hurdled pools of melted ice cream as I pounded across the cobblestones. “Hold on! I’m coming!”
Clackclackcclackclackclack. “I’ll get this one!” Jackie sped past me on her long legs, hair flying and armspumping. “I owe you. Out of the way!” she yelled in a gruff baritone. “I’m comin’ through!”
Onlookers leaped out of her path as she barreled toward the end of the quay. Kicking off her stilettoes, she made a spectacular running leap into midair and plunged into the harbor with a resounding—
“Wait! My sweater!”
Splat!
“That was actually quite refreshing,” Jackie said as we hoofed it back to the hotel an hour later.
“I’m glad you thought so,” I said tightly.
“I recognize that tone, Emily, so you might as well come right out and say it. You’re still mad.”
“It was my favorite sweater in all the world, Jack! Now look at it.” The sleeves hung below her hands like sock puppets. The bottom drooped to her thighs. “It’s a plus size minidress.”
“Would you rather I’d let George drown?”
“No! But I could have saved him. And here’s the important part: I’m not wearing cashmere!”
“Well, ex c uuu se me. Who packs cashmere to go on vacation anyway?”
“We’re going to be traveling above the Arctic Circle. I even threw in a scarf and mittens because… it’s supposed to get cold! ”
She stopped in her tracks. “Really?”
“Didn’t you look at the map?”
“Nah. I’m not good with maps anymore.” She bobbed her head sheepishly. “You know, the girl thing.”
I sighed with resignation. “All these other issuesaside, Jack, I really appreciate what you did for George. Thanks.”
“No problem. He should think about getting that artificial leg of his replaced with a lighter material, though. It dragged him down so fast, I had to dive twice to find him.”
“It’s not the leg; it’s the steel-toed boots. What he really needs to replace is his footwear.”
I looked up and down the boulevard and across the street to the shaded lawns of Esplanade park, where an outdoor aerobics class was being conducted for stunning blonds with tanned legs and no body fat. “Do you see a shoe store around here?”
“Nope, but I wouldn’t mind browsing in the one behind you.”
The store was called Aarikka, and the shopfront displayed a unique assortment of Finnish-made necklaces that were strung with wooden beads stained in eye-popping colors.
“Ooo,” Jackie cooed. “See the fuschia-and-plum one? That has my name on it. Or maybe the seafoam and teal.”
“Tell me something, Jack, how did you know I was still ticked off about my sweater? If we were still married and I’d said I wasn’t upset, you’d have believed me.”
“That’s because I’ve learned the secret code. ‘No’ means ‘yes.’ ‘Yes’ means ‘no.’ ‘No, I’m not upset,’ means, ‘Of course I’m upset, you moron.’ It all makes so much sense now. No wonder I acted so dense when I was a guy. I didn’t know there was a code.”
“You wanna go inside?”
She studied her soggy reflection in the plate glass. “They’ll never let me in the door dripping seawater. Tell you what, you stay here and shop for a new sweater on my dime, and I’ll change clothes and meet up with you later.” She reached inside her purse and handed me a fistful of currency. “If that’s not enough, I’ll make up the difference back at the room.”
“You don’t have to do this, Jack. I know you meant well.”
“I ruined your sweater, so I need to pay for it.”
“You’re making me feel guilty.”
She flashed a smile with her blindingly white teeth. “I’m gettin’ good at this female stuff, aren’t I?”
“What time do you want to meet up?”
“Let’s just wing it.
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