look so troubled, brother,” I said, again taking care to keep my tone light. “Have I not always said that I wished I could go upon an adventure? I cannot think of a greater adventure than becoming the Hierarch’s wife.”
----
O f course the word spread through the palace like wildfire through a summer-parched meadow. I believe my brother did have time to speak with the ambassadors in private before they learned of my decision through less than official channels, but even so it was a close call. Ashara came to me within the hour, eyes wide and disbelieving.
“After everything you said just the other day, you have thrown off Lord Sorthannic to accept the Hierarch after all?” she demanded, after unceremoniously shooing all of her ladies-in-waiting out into the hallway, where they would be forced to be precisely that in deed as well as in name.
“Yes,” I said wearily. My head had begun to ache, and I wished I could hide in my chambers until it was time to depart for Keshiaar. That day, though, was still some time off, as I knew my brother would not permit me to undertake the sea passage until calmer waters prevailed, most likely sometime in early Averil.
“But… why? ”
“Because I realized I do not love Lord Sorthannic the same way you love my brother. I wish with all my heart that things were different, but as they are not, would it not be false of me to cling to the Duke of Marric’s Rest, merely as a way of avoiding a political marriage?”
Quietly she sat and appeared to digest that statement. After a pause, she said, “But you seemed happy enough with him — ”
“I was. Or rather, I thought I was. He is a good man. I cannot dispute that. And because he is a good and worthy man, he should have a wife who is as besotted with him as he is with her. Don’t you see?” I added, and sank down on the divan next to Ashara, holding her gaze, hoping that she would see the truth in my eyes. “It is because of how I see you look at my brother, and the way he looks at you, that I know something of what two people can share. And now that I have such knowledge, I cannot ignore it. I know I do not feel that way toward Lord Sorthannic.”
“And you — you think you will feel this way about the Hierarch?” Her tone was dubious, even as she turned from me slightly so she could retrieve his portrait from where I had left it sitting on one of the tables flanking the divan where we sat.
“No, I am not that foolish. But at least he seems to share some of my interests, as he is a man of learning. It is more of a basis than many such matches have.”
She nodded absently, staring down at the portrait. Then her fingers tightened around the little jeweled frame. “But it is so very far away,” she said quietly, and I thought I heard the quiver of tears behind that near-murmur.
“It is,” I agreed, feeling a certain tightness in my own throat. For I had always wished for a sister, and now had one, and soon I would lose her, along with everything — everyone — I knew and loved. It would have been one thing for the wife of the Duke of Marric’s Rest to come visit her relations in the capital, and quite another for the consort of the Hierarch of Keshiaar to make such a journey. A thousand miles and more. Once I had made the journey to that faraway land, I did not believe I would ever come back.
“But I think I understand,” she said at last, and now her tone was firmer, that hint of tears gone. Yes, she was my dear sister-in-law, but she was also the Empress of Sirlende. She had learned quite a few things these past few months. “You do not wish to be false to the Duke, but in breaking the engagement, you have also removed the one impediment to your marriage with the Hierarch. So it would not be truthful of you to continue to deny the match.”
“That is precisely it,” I replied, relieved that she understood so clearly. “And perhaps you can pass on that insight to my brother, as I fear he believes I
----
O f course the word spread through the palace like wildfire through a summer-parched meadow. I believe my brother did have time to speak with the ambassadors in private before they learned of my decision through less than official channels, but even so it was a close call. Ashara came to me within the hour, eyes wide and disbelieving.
“After everything you said just the other day, you have thrown off Lord Sorthannic to accept the Hierarch after all?” she demanded, after unceremoniously shooing all of her ladies-in-waiting out into the hallway, where they would be forced to be precisely that in deed as well as in name.
“Yes,” I said wearily. My head had begun to ache, and I wished I could hide in my chambers until it was time to depart for Keshiaar. That day, though, was still some time off, as I knew my brother would not permit me to undertake the sea passage until calmer waters prevailed, most likely sometime in early Averil.
“But… why? ”
“Because I realized I do not love Lord Sorthannic the same way you love my brother. I wish with all my heart that things were different, but as they are not, would it not be false of me to cling to the Duke of Marric’s Rest, merely as a way of avoiding a political marriage?”
Quietly she sat and appeared to digest that statement. After a pause, she said, “But you seemed happy enough with him — ”
“I was. Or rather, I thought I was. He is a good man. I cannot dispute that. And because he is a good and worthy man, he should have a wife who is as besotted with him as he is with her. Don’t you see?” I added, and sank down on the divan next to Ashara, holding her gaze, hoping that she would see the truth in my eyes. “It is because of how I see you look at my brother, and the way he looks at you, that I know something of what two people can share. And now that I have such knowledge, I cannot ignore it. I know I do not feel that way toward Lord Sorthannic.”
“And you — you think you will feel this way about the Hierarch?” Her tone was dubious, even as she turned from me slightly so she could retrieve his portrait from where I had left it sitting on one of the tables flanking the divan where we sat.
“No, I am not that foolish. But at least he seems to share some of my interests, as he is a man of learning. It is more of a basis than many such matches have.”
She nodded absently, staring down at the portrait. Then her fingers tightened around the little jeweled frame. “But it is so very far away,” she said quietly, and I thought I heard the quiver of tears behind that near-murmur.
“It is,” I agreed, feeling a certain tightness in my own throat. For I had always wished for a sister, and now had one, and soon I would lose her, along with everything — everyone — I knew and loved. It would have been one thing for the wife of the Duke of Marric’s Rest to come visit her relations in the capital, and quite another for the consort of the Hierarch of Keshiaar to make such a journey. A thousand miles and more. Once I had made the journey to that faraway land, I did not believe I would ever come back.
“But I think I understand,” she said at last, and now her tone was firmer, that hint of tears gone. Yes, she was my dear sister-in-law, but she was also the Empress of Sirlende. She had learned quite a few things these past few months. “You do not wish to be false to the Duke, but in breaking the engagement, you have also removed the one impediment to your marriage with the Hierarch. So it would not be truthful of you to continue to deny the match.”
“That is precisely it,” I replied, relieved that she understood so clearly. “And perhaps you can pass on that insight to my brother, as I fear he believes I
Similar Books
