Now, this is a school that has been DOGGED BY CONTROVERSY for a long time
and it had seemed recently as though there had been some VAGUE IMPROVEMENTS, but now it’s more of the same: weapons, gangs,
violence, drug-dealing, and antisocial behavior! What a sad example of the youth of today this school is! I mean, to set the
scene, this was the school that was once called the WORST SCHOOL IN BRITAIN providing some of the lowest standards in education
in the country. In turn it gained a nickname in media circles as “Superchav Academy”—chav being a term for the very underclass,
FERAL, out of control children we see all too often in Britain today. Well the nickname CERTAINLY FITS TODAY, Julia, because
here I am on the scene of what is looking to be a drive-by-shooting incident! More news as we get it, this is me, Max Blackford,
reporting for BBC news, now back to the studio
…”
This made me really really mad. Max Blackford didn’t mention that this maybe weren’t even a shooting. Or if it was it HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH MAYFLOWER KIDS, it was caused by somebody who left years ago. Max didn’t say there were lots of really
good kids at Mayflower. Or mention Tonita’s ice-skating or Manpreet’s
Countdown
prize or the time Year Eight made that Diplodocus out of egg cartons to give to the children’s hospital or the lad in Year
Ten who got scouted for West Ham youth soccer squad last week! Or the fact that loads of kids at Mayflower got proper GCSEs
this year or the fact that we WEREN’T ALL BLOODY CHAVS WHO WERE INTO SHOOTING EACH OTHER, RIGHT????
So when Max bloody Bratford asked me and Carrie if we wanted to go live on the six o’clock broadcast for forty-five seconds
and give an interview about “What Life is Like as a Superchav” I decided I’d wait till the cameras were filming and tell him
exactly what I thought. Go and look on YouTube—the clip is up already. His face is a proper picture.
SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER
9 AM —Ms. Bracket has just sent me a text message saying that Mr. Bamblebury wants to see me in his office at 8:30 AM SHARP on Monday morning to discuss my comments about Mayflower Academy.
Oh my days. Now I’m in SERIOUS BOTHER.
WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER
Clinton Brunton-Fletcher is not dead. IT’S OFFICIAL. But he’s not living at Thundersley Road anymore either. Uma says he’s
“gone away for a bit.” Uma didn’t say where but I reckon Portsmouth as that’s where the bloke he calls his dad lives. It said
on the news tonight that there definitely was a gun fired outside Mayflower, but whoever fired it probably just fired one
shot up into the air then drove off right away. The evening news said police are investigating claims that drugs are being
sold around the school gates, which is “fueling gang tension.”
So I go to my appointment with Mr. Bamblebury on Monday, and sit on a hard chair that hurts my arse amongst his dying potted
plants and he starts quizzing me about Clinton Brunton-Fletcher and saying like, was Clinton really drug dealing, ’cos he’d
heard this from several parents who were all calling up giving him an earache.
So I said, “I don’t know NOTHING!” and I said it loud ’cos the honest to God truth is that I don’t know much and what I do
know for sure is that I’m no bloody grass. I mean WHAT’S IT GOT TO DO WITH ME if a gang of rudes want to roll up the school
acting like big men? What’s it got to do with me if Clinton wants to sell weed? For once in my life I was in the headmaster’s
office for something that had NOTHING to do with me at all! I just wanna read
King Lear.
Mr. Bamblebury said all this
has
got something to do with me, ’cos I can HELP. Mr. Bamblebury said that Mayflower Academy is on the brink of turning a corner
and it’s important that we stay focused and on a positive track.
So I said, “WELL I’M STAYING POSITIVE, didn’t you see me on BBC news?! I was representing big time,
and it had seemed recently as though there had been some VAGUE IMPROVEMENTS, but now it’s more of the same: weapons, gangs,
violence, drug-dealing, and antisocial behavior! What a sad example of the youth of today this school is! I mean, to set the
scene, this was the school that was once called the WORST SCHOOL IN BRITAIN providing some of the lowest standards in education
in the country. In turn it gained a nickname in media circles as “Superchav Academy”—chav being a term for the very underclass,
FERAL, out of control children we see all too often in Britain today. Well the nickname CERTAINLY FITS TODAY, Julia, because
here I am on the scene of what is looking to be a drive-by-shooting incident! More news as we get it, this is me, Max Blackford,
reporting for BBC news, now back to the studio
…”
This made me really really mad. Max Blackford didn’t mention that this maybe weren’t even a shooting. Or if it was it HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH MAYFLOWER KIDS, it was caused by somebody who left years ago. Max didn’t say there were lots of really
good kids at Mayflower. Or mention Tonita’s ice-skating or Manpreet’s
Countdown
prize or the time Year Eight made that Diplodocus out of egg cartons to give to the children’s hospital or the lad in Year
Ten who got scouted for West Ham youth soccer squad last week! Or the fact that loads of kids at Mayflower got proper GCSEs
this year or the fact that we WEREN’T ALL BLOODY CHAVS WHO WERE INTO SHOOTING EACH OTHER, RIGHT????
So when Max bloody Bratford asked me and Carrie if we wanted to go live on the six o’clock broadcast for forty-five seconds
and give an interview about “What Life is Like as a Superchav” I decided I’d wait till the cameras were filming and tell him
exactly what I thought. Go and look on YouTube—the clip is up already. His face is a proper picture.
SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER
9 AM —Ms. Bracket has just sent me a text message saying that Mr. Bamblebury wants to see me in his office at 8:30 AM SHARP on Monday morning to discuss my comments about Mayflower Academy.
Oh my days. Now I’m in SERIOUS BOTHER.
WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER
Clinton Brunton-Fletcher is not dead. IT’S OFFICIAL. But he’s not living at Thundersley Road anymore either. Uma says he’s
“gone away for a bit.” Uma didn’t say where but I reckon Portsmouth as that’s where the bloke he calls his dad lives. It said
on the news tonight that there definitely was a gun fired outside Mayflower, but whoever fired it probably just fired one
shot up into the air then drove off right away. The evening news said police are investigating claims that drugs are being
sold around the school gates, which is “fueling gang tension.”
So I go to my appointment with Mr. Bamblebury on Monday, and sit on a hard chair that hurts my arse amongst his dying potted
plants and he starts quizzing me about Clinton Brunton-Fletcher and saying like, was Clinton really drug dealing, ’cos he’d
heard this from several parents who were all calling up giving him an earache.
So I said, “I don’t know NOTHING!” and I said it loud ’cos the honest to God truth is that I don’t know much and what I do
know for sure is that I’m no bloody grass. I mean WHAT’S IT GOT TO DO WITH ME if a gang of rudes want to roll up the school
acting like big men? What’s it got to do with me if Clinton wants to sell weed? For once in my life I was in the headmaster’s
office for something that had NOTHING to do with me at all! I just wanna read
King Lear.
Mr. Bamblebury said all this
has
got something to do with me, ’cos I can HELP. Mr. Bamblebury said that Mayflower Academy is on the brink of turning a corner
and it’s important that we stay focused and on a positive track.
So I said, “WELL I’M STAYING POSITIVE, didn’t you see me on BBC news?! I was representing big time,
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