around him, to the exclusion of all else, except their twins.
Hardest of all was when he left them after breakfast on Friday mornings. He dropped the girls off at school, and usually came back to the house to be with Ashley for a little while longer. More often than not, they made love again, sometimes in haste, before he would go to the office, and then he liked to fly back to San Francisco around lunchtime, so he could spend the last few hours of the day in his office there before the weekend. It was perfectly orchestrated and well organized, but it tore his heart out every time, as the plane took off in L.A. and he knew he wouldn’t see her again for five days, four ifhe could find an excuse to go back to L.A. early, and he felt numb afterward all weekend, which was why he disappeared to the golf course for two days. He had withdrawals from Ashley each time he left her.
By Friday afternoon, every week, Ashley was deeply depressed. She couldn’t even send him a text. She had agreed to his ground rules early on, and lived by them. She had to wait to hear from him, and could not contact him in San Francisco or even at the office in L.A. It made her feel breathless and panicked sometimes after he left, knowing he was out of reach and she had to wait to hear from him. What if something happened to one of them? She knew she could call him then, which somehow made it even worse. She couldn’t just call him to hear his voice. He always called her before he left the office on Friday afternoon, and from the golf course on the weekend. But the only time she had full access to him was when he was in Malibu with her. The rest of the time, he was like a phantom in her life, and the reality of it hit her every week with greater force as time went by. It was hard for her to believe now that she had lived that way for so long. And at thirty, with two children, she wanted more.
She was sitting staring into space in her studio, with a bereft expression, when her friend Bonnie wandered in on Friday afternoon. She had seen Ashley look like that a thousand times, and knew what caused it. Bonnie hated Marshall for what he had done to her friend, worse yet, with Ashley’s full consent. Because of her love for him, and then the twins, she had tacitly agreed to be the hidden woman in his life, and she was no longer the same woman she had been eight years before. She lived for him, and the dream of the future lifeBonnie felt certain he would never share with her. No matter what he said to Ashley, Bonnie no longer believed he would leave Liz.
“Hi,” Ashley said, looking despondent when Bonnie walked in. She was wearing the same shorts and T-shirt she had worn the day before, because they smelled of him and his cologne. Marshall did exactly the opposite, and changed his clothes before he left L.A., so nothing he wore home would smell of her. Marshall had thought of everything to protect his double life for the past eight years, and he had it down to a science. Ashley had no concept of how careful he was.
“I know that look,” Bonnie said with a disapproving glance at Ashley’s face and drooping shoulders when she walked in. Ashley had been sitting in the studio in front of a blank canvas, staring into space.
Bonnie was her oldest friend, they had known each other since childhood. Bonnie was a production assistant on feature films. She worked sporadically and was currently between film assignments. She was always ten or fifteen pounds overweight, and hadn’t had a boyfriend for a year. It gave her lots of time to hang out with Ashley and the girls. And it broke her heart to see her pining for Marshall, still hoping he’d leave his wife, and giving up her life for him. Bonnie thought he was the worst thing that had ever happened to Ashley, in spite of the enchanting twins.
“What are we doing this weekend?” Bonnie asked, helping herself to a Diet Coke from the studio fridge. She was always on a diet, which rarely worked.
“I
Hardest of all was when he left them after breakfast on Friday mornings. He dropped the girls off at school, and usually came back to the house to be with Ashley for a little while longer. More often than not, they made love again, sometimes in haste, before he would go to the office, and then he liked to fly back to San Francisco around lunchtime, so he could spend the last few hours of the day in his office there before the weekend. It was perfectly orchestrated and well organized, but it tore his heart out every time, as the plane took off in L.A. and he knew he wouldn’t see her again for five days, four ifhe could find an excuse to go back to L.A. early, and he felt numb afterward all weekend, which was why he disappeared to the golf course for two days. He had withdrawals from Ashley each time he left her.
By Friday afternoon, every week, Ashley was deeply depressed. She couldn’t even send him a text. She had agreed to his ground rules early on, and lived by them. She had to wait to hear from him, and could not contact him in San Francisco or even at the office in L.A. It made her feel breathless and panicked sometimes after he left, knowing he was out of reach and she had to wait to hear from him. What if something happened to one of them? She knew she could call him then, which somehow made it even worse. She couldn’t just call him to hear his voice. He always called her before he left the office on Friday afternoon, and from the golf course on the weekend. But the only time she had full access to him was when he was in Malibu with her. The rest of the time, he was like a phantom in her life, and the reality of it hit her every week with greater force as time went by. It was hard for her to believe now that she had lived that way for so long. And at thirty, with two children, she wanted more.
She was sitting staring into space in her studio, with a bereft expression, when her friend Bonnie wandered in on Friday afternoon. She had seen Ashley look like that a thousand times, and knew what caused it. Bonnie hated Marshall for what he had done to her friend, worse yet, with Ashley’s full consent. Because of her love for him, and then the twins, she had tacitly agreed to be the hidden woman in his life, and she was no longer the same woman she had been eight years before. She lived for him, and the dream of the future lifeBonnie felt certain he would never share with her. No matter what he said to Ashley, Bonnie no longer believed he would leave Liz.
“Hi,” Ashley said, looking despondent when Bonnie walked in. She was wearing the same shorts and T-shirt she had worn the day before, because they smelled of him and his cologne. Marshall did exactly the opposite, and changed his clothes before he left L.A., so nothing he wore home would smell of her. Marshall had thought of everything to protect his double life for the past eight years, and he had it down to a science. Ashley had no concept of how careful he was.
“I know that look,” Bonnie said with a disapproving glance at Ashley’s face and drooping shoulders when she walked in. Ashley had been sitting in the studio in front of a blank canvas, staring into space.
Bonnie was her oldest friend, they had known each other since childhood. Bonnie was a production assistant on feature films. She worked sporadically and was currently between film assignments. She was always ten or fifteen pounds overweight, and hadn’t had a boyfriend for a year. It gave her lots of time to hang out with Ashley and the girls. And it broke her heart to see her pining for Marshall, still hoping he’d leave his wife, and giving up her life for him. Bonnie thought he was the worst thing that had ever happened to Ashley, in spite of the enchanting twins.
“What are we doing this weekend?” Bonnie asked, helping herself to a Diet Coke from the studio fridge. She was always on a diet, which rarely worked.
“I
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