don’t know,” Ashley said, looking vague. It took her two days sometimes to get over his leaving. She never got used to it. And sometimes she didn’t get out of the pit till he returned. Bonnie hopedit wasn’t going to be one of those weeks. “Maybe it’ll rain,” Ashley said with a look of gloom.
“Maybe it won’t, and if it does, we can take the girls to a movie.” She sat watching Ashley for a few minutes, as she tried to gather her thoughts and still couldn’t. She was missing him too much. Seeing her that way was more than Bonnie could stand. “How long are you going to let him do this to you?” Bonnie asked in a strangled voice, full of desperation and concern for her friend. “He’s been doing this for eight years. You know, he’s never going to leave her, as long as he can have you both. And she doesn’t know about you, so if someone is going to take a stand, it will have to be you. He’ll never make a move until you do.” She wanted Ashley to stand up for herself, but she never did. She was too afraid to lose him.
“I can’t,” Ashley said miserably. “What if he chooses her?”
“He already has,” Bonnie reminded her, “by not leaving her till now. He chose a double life. And it’s killing you,” Bonnie said, looking angry. She was furious at both of them, at Marshall for what he was doing, and Ashley for letting him. She was participating in her own destruction. It was an old story, and drove her insane to watch.
“What if he gives me up?” Ashley looked panicked as she said it.
“Painful as that would be, you might finally find a decent guy, who’s actually willing to share his whole life with you, not just two days a week,” Bonnie said with a sour look. She always told Ashley what she thought, as a friend.
“His daughter is going to college in a year. I think that’s what he’s been waiting for. He didn’t want to upset her. She’s a very difficult child,” she said, parroting his excuses. Bonnie had heard it all before, and so had Ashley.
“She’s not a child, Ash. As I recall, she’s sixteen. And he alwayshas some excuse. The boys, his wife, his career. Do you realize that he hasn’t made a single move in eight years? How long are you going to let him dick you around?” Bonnie looked at her in despair. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know. You’re better looking than most of the movie stars I work with, but you’re thirty years old. I’ve been watching you go through this since you were twenty-two. One of these days, you’re going to wake up and be forty, or fifty, and you’ll have wasted your whole life with a guy who sees you two days a week, is still with his wife, and keeps you in the closet. Ash, you deserve so much better than that.”
Ashley nodded, trying to believe what her friend was saying, about deserving more. But being with him was like playing the slot machines in Vegas. She kept thinking that if she put in a little more time, another month, another year, he’d come around in the end. And instead, even she was beginning to suspect that he was comfortable the way things were. It was easier for him to have them both. And what he really didn’t want was to cause a scandal that would jeopardize his career. That was the most important factor of all to him, more than hurting her or his wife.
“I keep hoping some fabulous guy will come along who will sweep you off your feet. But you’re never going to meet anyone, holed up here, waiting for Marshall to show up.” They both knew that Ashley was emotionally unavailable. She was totally in love with Marshall, even more than she had been eight years before. She had still had her own life then. Now she no longer did. She was soldered to him. She felt completely married to him, and he was married to Liz. Bonnie didn’t want to say it, but her worst fear was that to Marshall, all Ashley was was a gorgeous piece of ass. Bonnie didn’t trust him farther than she could throw him.
“Why
“Maybe it won’t, and if it does, we can take the girls to a movie.” She sat watching Ashley for a few minutes, as she tried to gather her thoughts and still couldn’t. She was missing him too much. Seeing her that way was more than Bonnie could stand. “How long are you going to let him do this to you?” Bonnie asked in a strangled voice, full of desperation and concern for her friend. “He’s been doing this for eight years. You know, he’s never going to leave her, as long as he can have you both. And she doesn’t know about you, so if someone is going to take a stand, it will have to be you. He’ll never make a move until you do.” She wanted Ashley to stand up for herself, but she never did. She was too afraid to lose him.
“I can’t,” Ashley said miserably. “What if he chooses her?”
“He already has,” Bonnie reminded her, “by not leaving her till now. He chose a double life. And it’s killing you,” Bonnie said, looking angry. She was furious at both of them, at Marshall for what he was doing, and Ashley for letting him. She was participating in her own destruction. It was an old story, and drove her insane to watch.
“What if he gives me up?” Ashley looked panicked as she said it.
“Painful as that would be, you might finally find a decent guy, who’s actually willing to share his whole life with you, not just two days a week,” Bonnie said with a sour look. She always told Ashley what she thought, as a friend.
“His daughter is going to college in a year. I think that’s what he’s been waiting for. He didn’t want to upset her. She’s a very difficult child,” she said, parroting his excuses. Bonnie had heard it all before, and so had Ashley.
“She’s not a child, Ash. As I recall, she’s sixteen. And he alwayshas some excuse. The boys, his wife, his career. Do you realize that he hasn’t made a single move in eight years? How long are you going to let him dick you around?” Bonnie looked at her in despair. “You’re the most beautiful woman I know. You’re better looking than most of the movie stars I work with, but you’re thirty years old. I’ve been watching you go through this since you were twenty-two. One of these days, you’re going to wake up and be forty, or fifty, and you’ll have wasted your whole life with a guy who sees you two days a week, is still with his wife, and keeps you in the closet. Ash, you deserve so much better than that.”
Ashley nodded, trying to believe what her friend was saying, about deserving more. But being with him was like playing the slot machines in Vegas. She kept thinking that if she put in a little more time, another month, another year, he’d come around in the end. And instead, even she was beginning to suspect that he was comfortable the way things were. It was easier for him to have them both. And what he really didn’t want was to cause a scandal that would jeopardize his career. That was the most important factor of all to him, more than hurting her or his wife.
“I keep hoping some fabulous guy will come along who will sweep you off your feet. But you’re never going to meet anyone, holed up here, waiting for Marshall to show up.” They both knew that Ashley was emotionally unavailable. She was totally in love with Marshall, even more than she had been eight years before. She had still had her own life then. Now she no longer did. She was soldered to him. She felt completely married to him, and he was married to Liz. Bonnie didn’t want to say it, but her worst fear was that to Marshall, all Ashley was was a gorgeous piece of ass. Bonnie didn’t trust him farther than she could throw him.
“Why
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