sideways. “What the fuck you mean, ‘a break’? We ain’t takin’ no fuckin’ break? If we ain’t gon’ be together, we ain’t gon’ be together. Ain’t no in-between.”
“ Then I guess we ain’t gon’ be together then,” McKinley replied calmly.
“ Word? So that’s it?” Jamil stared at her surprised.
“ Yeah.”
“ A’ight.” Jamil got out of the bed and put on his shoes.
McKinley willed herself to breathe. With each second that passed, it seemed like she was going to faint. Her stomach was in knots as she watched Jamil grab his keys. If she wanted him now was the time to stop him, but the further he got down the hall the firmer she stood on her decision. This would be good for the both of them. McKinley just prayed that her walking away wouldn’t be the biggest mistake of her life.
“ The problem is that you know where my heart stands. You use it against me.”
Dawn Richards
“ Broken Record”
When she’d made it up in her mind that leaving Jamil alone was the right move to make, McKinley never considered the fact that being without him would cause more than a broken heart. Being without Jamil made her feel like she’d died one hundred times. Everyday was like Groundhog’s Day. Every morning she relived the fact that he was gone and never coming back. She would never hear the sound of his footsteps coming up the steps.
She wouldn’t feel him lying next to her in the middle of the night. She wouldn’t get to smell the sweet scent of his skin. The sound of his laughter wouldn’t fill the house up anymore. Every moment of the day she spent alone. When the phone rang everything in her hoped that it would be him on the other end, begging for her forgiveness. She’d called him and left him messages, begging him to call her, but Jamil hadn’t called once.
It had been two weeks since she heard his voice or saw his face. It was like he’d fallen off the face of the earth. Curled up in bed, McKinley gazed at the wall. Tears slid out of the corners of her eyes at a rapid speed. She’d hardly eaten in days. When she closed her eyes at night the only thing she dreamed of was him. No matter what she did, thoughts of Jamil haunted her brain.
Her friends said that in time the pain would get better, but McKinley didn’t believe it. To be without Jamil was worse than being with him. The inconsistencies of their relationship she could handle, but the constant pang in her heart was torture. She wanted her baby back. Everyone around her would call her dumb, but she didn’t care. They weren’t the ones suffering.
McKinley didn’t know what to do. Begging him to take her back made her feel like a complete and utter fool, but every second she breathed air knowing he wasn’t hers anymore killed her. Fuck pride, McKinley had to get her man back. Using her cell phone, she called him. Each ring felt like death. It hurt her even more when he didn’t pick up.
McKinley hung up the phone and burst into tears. How can he just ignore me like this, she wondered when her phone rang. McKinley looked at the screen. It was Jamil. A sense of relief flooded over her body.
“ Hello?” Her voice quivered.
“ What’s up? You called?” he asked nonchalantly.
McKinley could hear music and people talking in the background. It sounded as if he was at club or a bar.
“ Yeah, you know I did,” she answered with a slight attitude.
“ Look, I ain’t call you to argue.”
“ I didn’t call you to argue either,” McKinley explained.
“ Well, what’s up then?” Jamil asked dryly.
“ Will you please come home? I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I thought that breaking up wit’ you was the best thing to do, but it was not. I miss you,” she cried. “And I just want you to come home.”
“ I don’t know if I can do that,” Jamil said regrettably.
“ Why?” McKinley
“ Then I guess we ain’t gon’ be together then,” McKinley replied calmly.
“ Word? So that’s it?” Jamil stared at her surprised.
“ Yeah.”
“ A’ight.” Jamil got out of the bed and put on his shoes.
McKinley willed herself to breathe. With each second that passed, it seemed like she was going to faint. Her stomach was in knots as she watched Jamil grab his keys. If she wanted him now was the time to stop him, but the further he got down the hall the firmer she stood on her decision. This would be good for the both of them. McKinley just prayed that her walking away wouldn’t be the biggest mistake of her life.
“ The problem is that you know where my heart stands. You use it against me.”
Dawn Richards
“ Broken Record”
When she’d made it up in her mind that leaving Jamil alone was the right move to make, McKinley never considered the fact that being without him would cause more than a broken heart. Being without Jamil made her feel like she’d died one hundred times. Everyday was like Groundhog’s Day. Every morning she relived the fact that he was gone and never coming back. She would never hear the sound of his footsteps coming up the steps.
She wouldn’t feel him lying next to her in the middle of the night. She wouldn’t get to smell the sweet scent of his skin. The sound of his laughter wouldn’t fill the house up anymore. Every moment of the day she spent alone. When the phone rang everything in her hoped that it would be him on the other end, begging for her forgiveness. She’d called him and left him messages, begging him to call her, but Jamil hadn’t called once.
It had been two weeks since she heard his voice or saw his face. It was like he’d fallen off the face of the earth. Curled up in bed, McKinley gazed at the wall. Tears slid out of the corners of her eyes at a rapid speed. She’d hardly eaten in days. When she closed her eyes at night the only thing she dreamed of was him. No matter what she did, thoughts of Jamil haunted her brain.
Her friends said that in time the pain would get better, but McKinley didn’t believe it. To be without Jamil was worse than being with him. The inconsistencies of their relationship she could handle, but the constant pang in her heart was torture. She wanted her baby back. Everyone around her would call her dumb, but she didn’t care. They weren’t the ones suffering.
McKinley didn’t know what to do. Begging him to take her back made her feel like a complete and utter fool, but every second she breathed air knowing he wasn’t hers anymore killed her. Fuck pride, McKinley had to get her man back. Using her cell phone, she called him. Each ring felt like death. It hurt her even more when he didn’t pick up.
McKinley hung up the phone and burst into tears. How can he just ignore me like this, she wondered when her phone rang. McKinley looked at the screen. It was Jamil. A sense of relief flooded over her body.
“ Hello?” Her voice quivered.
“ What’s up? You called?” he asked nonchalantly.
McKinley could hear music and people talking in the background. It sounded as if he was at club or a bar.
“ Yeah, you know I did,” she answered with a slight attitude.
“ Look, I ain’t call you to argue.”
“ I didn’t call you to argue either,” McKinley explained.
“ Well, what’s up then?” Jamil asked dryly.
“ Will you please come home? I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I thought that breaking up wit’ you was the best thing to do, but it was not. I miss you,” she cried. “And I just want you to come home.”
“ I don’t know if I can do that,” Jamil said regrettably.
“ Why?” McKinley
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