said taken aback by his answer.
“’Cause, man. You were right. We needed to fall back from each other. And I mean, I miss you and everything, but I don’t think we ready to just jump back into being wit’ each other.”
“ That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it,” McKinley cried out. “I love you and you love me.”
“ I never said that I didn’t love you. Love just don’t go away overnight,” Jamil confessed.
“ So that’s it? You just don’t wanna be wit’ me no more.” McKinley stopped crying.
“ I ain’t tryin’ to be rude or nothin’, but can I call you back?”
McKinley held the phone stunned.
“ Hello?” Jamil said.
“ Yeah,” she replied, feeling like if she let him get off the phone she’d never hear from him again.
“ Can I call you right back?”
“ Whatever, Jamil.” McKinley rolled her eyes and hung up the phone.
“ What the hell am I sittin’ up here cryin’ over this nigga for?” McKinley said out loud to herself, pissed off.
Fed up, she got out of the bed and turned on the light.
“ The hell with this shit,” she spat. “I’m sittin’ over her feeling like I’m dying and this nigga could care less, he out partying. Fuck this.”
McKinley went into the master bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked a mess. She hadn’t combed her hair in days. Her face looked pale and dry. Dried-up tear stains scarred her cheeks. Tired of looking and feeling disgusted, she turned on the shower and got in. The hot water running over her body made her feel as if she was being hugged.
Once her body was clean and fresh she turned off the water and got out. After drying off, McKinley brushed her teeth and washed her face, then grabbed her Wild Cherry Blossom lotion and walked back into her room. Annoyed with the silence that enveloped her, she popped a mix CD into her Blu Ray player. The first song that began to play was Jazmine Sullivan’s fuck-him-girl anthem “Holding You Down . ”McKinley sat on the edge of her bed and began lathering on lotion while singing along.
It’s a shame that you don’t care enough,
To even give me half the love,
I give to you,
I live for you baby,
I’m ashamed to say that I’m to blame for how you act,
’ Cause I keep comin’ back.
McKinley couldn’t sing a lick, but every lyric from the song resonated deep within her soul. After every inch of her skin was covered with lotion, McKinley went over to her walk-in closet and pulled out the most uncomplicated outfit she could find. Then Barbra Streisand’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade,”from the iconic movie, Funny Girl, came on.
Don’t tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life’s candy and the suns a ball of butter.
She stood up and danced like a Broadway dancer.
Fuck staying in the house sulking. It was time for her to live. She wasn’t going to let Jamil rain on her parade. He was living and going on with his life, so why shouldn’t she make the same moves? Dressed in a Camilla and Marc, print Georgette dress with a scoop neck, cutout shoulders and short flutter sleeves, McKinley placed on a cute pair of gold sandals.
Standing in front of the mirror, she pulled her hair up into a sleek ponytail, dabbed on a little pink lip gloss, grabbed her house keys and headed out the door. But to McKinley’s surprise as soon as she stepped out of the door, Jamil got off the elevator. McKinley stood frozen, wondering could he hear the loud thumping in her chest that sounded like a drum beat.
“ Where you going?” he asked, eying her up and down.
“ Why?” McKinley replied.
She didn’t want to tell him the truth, which was she had no idea where she was going.
“ ‘ Cause I want you to take a walk with me,” Jamil said.
McKinley looked away; hating that Jamil’s presence had such an impact on her. Every time she came near
“’Cause, man. You were right. We needed to fall back from each other. And I mean, I miss you and everything, but I don’t think we ready to just jump back into being wit’ each other.”
“ That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it,” McKinley cried out. “I love you and you love me.”
“ I never said that I didn’t love you. Love just don’t go away overnight,” Jamil confessed.
“ So that’s it? You just don’t wanna be wit’ me no more.” McKinley stopped crying.
“ I ain’t tryin’ to be rude or nothin’, but can I call you back?”
McKinley held the phone stunned.
“ Hello?” Jamil said.
“ Yeah,” she replied, feeling like if she let him get off the phone she’d never hear from him again.
“ Can I call you right back?”
“ Whatever, Jamil.” McKinley rolled her eyes and hung up the phone.
“ What the hell am I sittin’ up here cryin’ over this nigga for?” McKinley said out loud to herself, pissed off.
Fed up, she got out of the bed and turned on the light.
“ The hell with this shit,” she spat. “I’m sittin’ over her feeling like I’m dying and this nigga could care less, he out partying. Fuck this.”
McKinley went into the master bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked a mess. She hadn’t combed her hair in days. Her face looked pale and dry. Dried-up tear stains scarred her cheeks. Tired of looking and feeling disgusted, she turned on the shower and got in. The hot water running over her body made her feel as if she was being hugged.
Once her body was clean and fresh she turned off the water and got out. After drying off, McKinley brushed her teeth and washed her face, then grabbed her Wild Cherry Blossom lotion and walked back into her room. Annoyed with the silence that enveloped her, she popped a mix CD into her Blu Ray player. The first song that began to play was Jazmine Sullivan’s fuck-him-girl anthem “Holding You Down . ”McKinley sat on the edge of her bed and began lathering on lotion while singing along.
It’s a shame that you don’t care enough,
To even give me half the love,
I give to you,
I live for you baby,
I’m ashamed to say that I’m to blame for how you act,
’ Cause I keep comin’ back.
McKinley couldn’t sing a lick, but every lyric from the song resonated deep within her soul. After every inch of her skin was covered with lotion, McKinley went over to her walk-in closet and pulled out the most uncomplicated outfit she could find. Then Barbra Streisand’s “Don’t Rain on My Parade,”from the iconic movie, Funny Girl, came on.
Don’t tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life’s candy and the suns a ball of butter.
She stood up and danced like a Broadway dancer.
Fuck staying in the house sulking. It was time for her to live. She wasn’t going to let Jamil rain on her parade. He was living and going on with his life, so why shouldn’t she make the same moves? Dressed in a Camilla and Marc, print Georgette dress with a scoop neck, cutout shoulders and short flutter sleeves, McKinley placed on a cute pair of gold sandals.
Standing in front of the mirror, she pulled her hair up into a sleek ponytail, dabbed on a little pink lip gloss, grabbed her house keys and headed out the door. But to McKinley’s surprise as soon as she stepped out of the door, Jamil got off the elevator. McKinley stood frozen, wondering could he hear the loud thumping in her chest that sounded like a drum beat.
“ Where you going?” he asked, eying her up and down.
“ Why?” McKinley replied.
She didn’t want to tell him the truth, which was she had no idea where she was going.
“ ‘ Cause I want you to take a walk with me,” Jamil said.
McKinley looked away; hating that Jamil’s presence had such an impact on her. Every time she came near
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