Prima Donna by Keisha Ervin

this shit. I came over here to talk to you. Not be accused of a bunch of foul shit.”
     
    McKinley gazed into his eyes. A world of pain hid behind his irises. She wondered how long it had been lying there. She’d never seen Jamil look so sad before. She felt like shit. Maybe she had overreacted? Maybe the boy who answered his phone had been his cousin?
     
    “ Will you calm down? I just don’t understand what’s going on.”
     
    “ Okay, but instead of jumpin’ to conclusions, how about you listen to me sometimes.”
     
    “ I’m sorry.” McKinley shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.
     
    “ I’m for real, McKinley. Don’t come to me on no shit like this again. You gotta learn how to trust me. I got enough on my plate as it is.” Jamil turned his face and looked away, mad.
     
    McKinley stuck her face in front of his. “I understand. I was just worried about you.”
     
    “ I don’t even wanna talk about that no more. Just come lay down wit’ me. I’m tired and I wanna lie down,” he said, going up the stairs.
     
    McKinley followed Jamil to her bedroom. Once there, she climbed into bed while he took off his sneakers. Once his shoes were off, Jamil got into bed and lay behind her. His strong arms enveloped her waist. Jamil placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck.
     
    “ I love you,” he whispered.
     
    “ I love you, too,” McKinley said reluctantly.
     
    Sure, this was the side of Jamil she loved; it was just sad he couldn’t be this way all the time. McKinley just couldn’t allow herself to fall back into the same routine just ’cause the touch of his hand on her skin made her feel alive. This shit had to stop. She was tired of feeling like she was the only one dying. No way could he disappear for four days and this be it.
     
    “ Uh ah.” She shot up.
     
    There was no way she could just lay down and pretend that the last four days hadn’t happened.
     
    “ I can’t do this.”
“Do what?” Jamil mumbled.
     
    “ I can’t do this anymore.” McKinley stressed the word this.
     
    “ What’s wrong wit’ you now, McKinley?” Jamil huffed, opening his eyes.
     
    “ I’ll tell you exactly what’s wrong with me. I’m tired of you doing whatever the fuck you wanna do, then when I step to you about it you flip out on me and make it seem like I’m crazy. I know what happened. It’s not okay that you do this kind of stuff and I just sit here and fuckin’ take it.”
     
    “ C’mon, babe. I’m tired, just lay down. We’ll talk about this in the morning.’’ Jamil tried to get her to lie back down.
     
    “ No, I don’t wanna lay down, and we gon’ talk about this right now,” she hissed, pushing him away.
     
    “ I want you to explain to me how you can propose to me and disappear on me all in the same damn day. What kind of shit is that and who does shit like that? You claim to love me so much, but every chance you get you’re hurtin’ me. And I don’t understand why you do me like this.” McKinley began to cry. “Oh, I know why. You do it ’cause you can.”
     
     
     
    “ Stop.” Jamil sat up and tried to hold her, but McKinley wasn’t willing to let her defenses down.
     
     
     
    “ No! If we’re gonna get married I need for you to change. I’m tired of yo’ mouth making promises, but your actions showing me something different. I’m tired of one minute we’re good and then within a blink of an eye it’s some bullshit all over again. This shit is driving me insane.”
“I told you I was gonna change. But change takes time, McKinley. You gotta give me a chance to do it,” Jamil reasoned.
     
     
     
    “ I’ve given you three years to change. If it ain’t happened by now then it ain’t gon’ happen,” McKinley shrieked.
     
     
     
    “ So what you sayin’?”
     
     
     
    McKinley sat quietly and collected herself.
     
     
     
    “ I think we need to take a break,” she finally said.
     
     
     
    “ A break?” Jamil looked at her