blame.
Everything had to be someone else’s fault; he found it hard to admit anything he did was wrong. Stupid pride, really, but on the other hand, he didn’t do a lot wrong. His main fault was saying too much. He would have chatted to the police all the time, telling them that Thomas said he hated us, making it bigger than it was.
Making them think that this was some teenage tantrum where Thomas had drunk himself into a stupor and was lying somewhere, scared to come home, with a hangover.
Problem is, if I know Thomas, he would never throw his dinner over a wall. Teenagers do some funny things, but that can was his granddad’s, and he loved his granddad more than anything.
I know it’s a trivial thing, but it’s things like that you cling to. All through the police search for Thomas, I held onto this thought, secretly thinking them stupid to keep telling me that he had just gone off and would soon be back.
Whoever had him had thrown his dinner over that wall. I’d sit there and listen to the almost daily at first, then weekly, police reports and know inside that Thomas would never do that to me, or his granddad. Or, I admitted grudgingly, Colin. They’d never seen us together, as a family. They could never know how close we were.
Eventually, after a few months, Inspector Little stood in my lounge and outlined the case they had put together. Me and Colin were there, and Colin’s mum. A group of neighbours had gathered outside to try to hear what had happened.
‘Right then. We’ve put together a case and here it is. This is what we’ve come up with and this is how we’ll be directing the investigation from now on. We’ve spoken to Thomas’s parents and they’ve told us that there were some arguments and unpleasantness in the weeks before Thomas left.’
He looked over my head, but I looked at his eyes.
‘We’ve also spoken to his friend, Philip, and he told us that Thomas had been planning to get his own place when he’s finished his Service. We’ve found no evidence of an abduction, or of any violence. We’ve found no evidence that Thomas has come to any harm. Therefore, we’ll be focussing our attention on a missing person’s enquiry from now on. The enquiry will be scaled down and I’ll appoint an officer at the local station as a point of contact. Is everybody clear?’
We all nodded, but I couldn’t not speak up.
‘What about the can? He wouldn’t do that.’
Inspector Little sighed. He looked tired, his skin worn and thin.
‘Bessy, I’ve told you before, we don’t always know what our children are thinking. We think we do, but time after time we find that we don’t.’
I nodded.
‘Mmm. But what about that little girl who went missing? Ten, wasn’t she? And that lad off Ashton Market? Have they left home, looking for a place of their own? What’s happened to them?’
Inspector Little shifted from foot to foot.
‘Well, that’s a bit different, isn’t it? They’ve just disappeared. Not the same at all, at that age they don’t know their own mind. But your Thomas is older and we seriously think he’s just gone and set himself up somewhere. And usually, when that happens, they reappear at some point. It’s not the same, Bessy.’
I looked at the floor. I still couldn’t see the difference. Thomas had disappeared just like the other children. He wouldn’t just leave me and throw his can over the wall. I knew that boy inside out, and I knew he had a good heart.
Even if he had gone off, he would have come back by now because somewhere inside he would want his mum. He would care about what I felt—every time we’d rowed he’d apologised. I knew he would be feeling bad inside. Nothing would be right until he made up with me and Colin. He just wouldn’t stay away so long. It’d been months now.
The Bodies
Now I’m up to this bit and it’s not very nice. I know someone will have to read this, so I’m just warning you. It’s not very nice for people to read, and I
Everything had to be someone else’s fault; he found it hard to admit anything he did was wrong. Stupid pride, really, but on the other hand, he didn’t do a lot wrong. His main fault was saying too much. He would have chatted to the police all the time, telling them that Thomas said he hated us, making it bigger than it was.
Making them think that this was some teenage tantrum where Thomas had drunk himself into a stupor and was lying somewhere, scared to come home, with a hangover.
Problem is, if I know Thomas, he would never throw his dinner over a wall. Teenagers do some funny things, but that can was his granddad’s, and he loved his granddad more than anything.
I know it’s a trivial thing, but it’s things like that you cling to. All through the police search for Thomas, I held onto this thought, secretly thinking them stupid to keep telling me that he had just gone off and would soon be back.
Whoever had him had thrown his dinner over that wall. I’d sit there and listen to the almost daily at first, then weekly, police reports and know inside that Thomas would never do that to me, or his granddad. Or, I admitted grudgingly, Colin. They’d never seen us together, as a family. They could never know how close we were.
Eventually, after a few months, Inspector Little stood in my lounge and outlined the case they had put together. Me and Colin were there, and Colin’s mum. A group of neighbours had gathered outside to try to hear what had happened.
‘Right then. We’ve put together a case and here it is. This is what we’ve come up with and this is how we’ll be directing the investigation from now on. We’ve spoken to Thomas’s parents and they’ve told us that there were some arguments and unpleasantness in the weeks before Thomas left.’
He looked over my head, but I looked at his eyes.
‘We’ve also spoken to his friend, Philip, and he told us that Thomas had been planning to get his own place when he’s finished his Service. We’ve found no evidence of an abduction, or of any violence. We’ve found no evidence that Thomas has come to any harm. Therefore, we’ll be focussing our attention on a missing person’s enquiry from now on. The enquiry will be scaled down and I’ll appoint an officer at the local station as a point of contact. Is everybody clear?’
We all nodded, but I couldn’t not speak up.
‘What about the can? He wouldn’t do that.’
Inspector Little sighed. He looked tired, his skin worn and thin.
‘Bessy, I’ve told you before, we don’t always know what our children are thinking. We think we do, but time after time we find that we don’t.’
I nodded.
‘Mmm. But what about that little girl who went missing? Ten, wasn’t she? And that lad off Ashton Market? Have they left home, looking for a place of their own? What’s happened to them?’
Inspector Little shifted from foot to foot.
‘Well, that’s a bit different, isn’t it? They’ve just disappeared. Not the same at all, at that age they don’t know their own mind. But your Thomas is older and we seriously think he’s just gone and set himself up somewhere. And usually, when that happens, they reappear at some point. It’s not the same, Bessy.’
I looked at the floor. I still couldn’t see the difference. Thomas had disappeared just like the other children. He wouldn’t just leave me and throw his can over the wall. I knew that boy inside out, and I knew he had a good heart.
Even if he had gone off, he would have come back by now because somewhere inside he would want his mum. He would care about what I felt—every time we’d rowed he’d apologised. I knew he would be feeling bad inside. Nothing would be right until he made up with me and Colin. He just wouldn’t stay away so long. It’d been months now.
The Bodies
Now I’m up to this bit and it’s not very nice. I know someone will have to read this, so I’m just warning you. It’s not very nice for people to read, and I
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