at him now, she noted with concern the blue shadows under his eyes, the grimness of an expression held in check to hide everything going on inside.
She pressed her palm to the sick place at the top of her stomach. âJake, Iâm sorry for buttinâ into your life, but you canât expect me to sit back and watch you waste away into nothing.â
His hands tightened around the steering wheel, but he stared straight ahead. âIâm fine, Mama.â
âFine, my foot! When was the last time you ate a real meal? When was the last time you slept all night? Can you even remember the last time you enjoyed yourself at anything?â
âAs a matter of fact, I had a great meal at Lanceâs reception, and I really enjoyed myself, too. Does that make you feel better?â
âThat was almost a week ago!â she protested, thinking of the food.
Jake gave her a half smile. âMama, this may come as a great surprise to you, but a good many single men and women donât eat full-course meals three times a day.â
âJust because they donât, doesnât mean itâs healthy.â
He gave an exasperated sigh. âWhat do you want, Mama? You want me to be back in the army? You want me married and goo-goo-eyed like Lance? You want me to cut my hair and wear clean shirts like old Harry? What? Just tell me.â
âI just want my Jake back,â she said quietly. âI want to see that spark in your eye again. I want to see you really living instead of just drifting like this.â
He pulled up in front of her house and put the car in Neutral, but didnât turn off the ignition. He stared at the house with a singular lack of expression. âThe old Jake is gone, Mama. Iâm sorry, but heâs not coming back.â
Louise opened her mouth to protest, then thought of Ramonaâs warning. Jake had to be ready. âAll right, son. Iâll try to accept that.â She opened the car door. âYouâre welcome to come eat anytime. You know I canât stop cooking.â
He caught her arm. âRamona gave me a prescription for sleeping pills. Iâll try them, all right?â He kissed her cheek quickly. âJust mind your own your business, will ya?â
âIâll try.â She patted his cheek and winked. âIâll try real hard.â
Â
And in fact, it was nearly miraculous what those pills did for him. Jake didnât know if he was simply just too exhausted to think or even ache anymore, but the pills put him to sleep in minutes. For the next few weeks, he didnât exactly sleep blissfully through the night and wake up refreshedâhis nightmares were a little too energetic for that kind of restâbut he at least got enough rest that he could function again. He went back to work and started experimenting with a low-fat sauce for artichoke hearts. When his cook broke both legs and a wrist in a climbing accident, Jake cheerfully took his place, playing rock and roll on the radio as he juggled orders.
Because of his pinch-hitting, he was late going to see Harry one Saturday evening. Heâd called to leave a message, but it still bothered himâHarry counted on Jake. It was almost dark when he got to the hospital, but Jake found Harry in his usual place, looking out the windows toward Mount Gordon.
âHey, Harry,â Jake said, âsorry Iâm late. Did you get my message?â
Harry nodded. âI did. You know you donât have to wait on me, son. I got by without you before you came home. Iâd get by without you again. You got something to do, you go on and do it. Donât put anything on hold for me, you hear?â
Jake chuckled and grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. âYou want a sweater or anything? Itâs cool tonight.â
âI guess I do. Thereâs a jacket in my room if you want to go and fetch it for me.â
âWill do. Donât go anywhere.â
Harry
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