unrepentant grin. “People could feed you all kinds of bullshit.”
She takes out a stick of chewing gum and starts unwrapping it. Then she leans forward.
“Hey, Lexi,” she says in a low voice. “Have you really got amnesia or are you just making it up? I won’t tell.”
“
What?
Why would I make it up?”
“I thought there might be something you wanted to get out of. Like a dentist’s appointment.”
“No! This is genuine!”
“Okay. Whatever.” She shrugs and offers me the gum.
“No, thanks.” I wrap my arms around my knees, suddenly daunted. Amy’s right. People could take total advantage of me. I have so much to learn and I don’t even know where to start.
Well, I could start with the obvious.
“So.” I try to sound casual. “What’s my husband like? What does he…look like?”
“Wow.” Amy’s eyes open wide. “Of course! You have no idea what he’s like!”
“Mum said he was nice…” I try to hide my apprehension.
“He is lovely.” She nods seriously. “He has a real sense of humor. And they’re going to operate on his hump.”
“Yeah. Nice try, Amy.” I roll my eyes.
“Lexi! He’d be really hurt if he heard that!” Amy looks taken aback. “This is 2007. We don’t discriminate because of looks. And Eric is such a sweet, loving guy. It’s not
his
fault his back was damaged when he was a baby. And he’s achieved so much. He’s awe-inspiring.”
Now I’m hot with shame. Maybe my husband does have a hump. I shouldn’t be hump-ist. Whatever he looks like, I’m sure I chose him for a very good reason.
“Can he walk?” I ask nervously.
“He walked for the first time at your wedding,” says Amy, her eyes distant with memory. “He got up out of his wheelchair to say his vows. Everyone was in tears…the vicar could hardly speak….” Her mouth is twitching again.
“You little cow!” I exclaim. “He doesn’t bloody well have a hump, does he?”
“I’m sorry.” She starts giggling helplessly. “But this is
such
a good game.”
“It’s not a game!” I clutch at my hair, forgetting my injuries, and wince. “It’s my life. I have no idea who my husband is, or how I met him, or anything….”
“Okay.” She appears to relent. “What happened was, you got talking to this grizzled old tramp on the street. And his name was Eric—”
“Shut up! If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Mum.”
“All right!” She lifts her hands in surrender. “You seriously want to know?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, then. You met him on a TV show.”
“Try again.” I lift my eyes to heaven.
“It’s true! I’m not bullshitting now. You were on that reality show
Ambition
. Where people want to get to the top in business. He was one of the judges and you were a contestant. You didn’t get very far on the show, but you met Eric, and you hit it off.”
There’s silence. I’m waiting for her to crack up laughing and produce some punch line, but she just swigs from the can of diet Coke.
“I was on a reality show?” I say skeptically.
“Yeah. It was really cool. All my friends watched, and we all voted for you. You should have won!”
I eye her closely, but her face is totally serious. Is she telling the truth? Was I really on the
telly
?
“Why on earth did I go on a show like that?”
“To be the boss?” Amy shrugs. “To get ahead. That’s when you had your teeth and hair done, to look good on TV.”
“But I’m not ambitious. I mean, I’m not
that
ambitious…”
“Are you kidding?” Amy opens her eyes wide. “You’re, like, the most ambitious person in the world! As soon as your boss resigned you went for his job. All the bigwigs at your company had seen you on telly and they were really impressed. So they gave it to you.”
My mind flashes back to those business cards in my diary.
Lexi Smart, Director
.
“You’re the youngest director they’ve ever had in the company. It was so cool when you got the job,” Amy adds. “We all went out to
She takes out a stick of chewing gum and starts unwrapping it. Then she leans forward.
“Hey, Lexi,” she says in a low voice. “Have you really got amnesia or are you just making it up? I won’t tell.”
“
What?
Why would I make it up?”
“I thought there might be something you wanted to get out of. Like a dentist’s appointment.”
“No! This is genuine!”
“Okay. Whatever.” She shrugs and offers me the gum.
“No, thanks.” I wrap my arms around my knees, suddenly daunted. Amy’s right. People could take total advantage of me. I have so much to learn and I don’t even know where to start.
Well, I could start with the obvious.
“So.” I try to sound casual. “What’s my husband like? What does he…look like?”
“Wow.” Amy’s eyes open wide. “Of course! You have no idea what he’s like!”
“Mum said he was nice…” I try to hide my apprehension.
“He is lovely.” She nods seriously. “He has a real sense of humor. And they’re going to operate on his hump.”
“Yeah. Nice try, Amy.” I roll my eyes.
“Lexi! He’d be really hurt if he heard that!” Amy looks taken aback. “This is 2007. We don’t discriminate because of looks. And Eric is such a sweet, loving guy. It’s not
his
fault his back was damaged when he was a baby. And he’s achieved so much. He’s awe-inspiring.”
Now I’m hot with shame. Maybe my husband does have a hump. I shouldn’t be hump-ist. Whatever he looks like, I’m sure I chose him for a very good reason.
“Can he walk?” I ask nervously.
“He walked for the first time at your wedding,” says Amy, her eyes distant with memory. “He got up out of his wheelchair to say his vows. Everyone was in tears…the vicar could hardly speak….” Her mouth is twitching again.
“You little cow!” I exclaim. “He doesn’t bloody well have a hump, does he?”
“I’m sorry.” She starts giggling helplessly. “But this is
such
a good game.”
“It’s not a game!” I clutch at my hair, forgetting my injuries, and wince. “It’s my life. I have no idea who my husband is, or how I met him, or anything….”
“Okay.” She appears to relent. “What happened was, you got talking to this grizzled old tramp on the street. And his name was Eric—”
“Shut up! If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Mum.”
“All right!” She lifts her hands in surrender. “You seriously want to know?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, then. You met him on a TV show.”
“Try again.” I lift my eyes to heaven.
“It’s true! I’m not bullshitting now. You were on that reality show
Ambition
. Where people want to get to the top in business. He was one of the judges and you were a contestant. You didn’t get very far on the show, but you met Eric, and you hit it off.”
There’s silence. I’m waiting for her to crack up laughing and produce some punch line, but she just swigs from the can of diet Coke.
“I was on a reality show?” I say skeptically.
“Yeah. It was really cool. All my friends watched, and we all voted for you. You should have won!”
I eye her closely, but her face is totally serious. Is she telling the truth? Was I really on the
telly
?
“Why on earth did I go on a show like that?”
“To be the boss?” Amy shrugs. “To get ahead. That’s when you had your teeth and hair done, to look good on TV.”
“But I’m not ambitious. I mean, I’m not
that
ambitious…”
“Are you kidding?” Amy opens her eyes wide. “You’re, like, the most ambitious person in the world! As soon as your boss resigned you went for his job. All the bigwigs at your company had seen you on telly and they were really impressed. So they gave it to you.”
My mind flashes back to those business cards in my diary.
Lexi Smart, Director
.
“You’re the youngest director they’ve ever had in the company. It was so cool when you got the job,” Amy adds. “We all went out to
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