pounded. Even her bones felt like they were screaming.
Would she pass out from her broken heart? God, she hoped so. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with this pain, at least for a few minutes.
But then she felt a movement beside her, and she remembered. God hadn’t taken everything after all. She wasn’t alone, nor was she the only one who suffered right now. Someone else had lost far more than she had tonight.
“Come on, Maya. Let’s have a seat.”
She took her niece’s tiny, soft hand and led her to the sofa, praying for strength with each step she took. She could do this. She would do this. She had to. For Carolyn. She would not cry, and she would not shout at God. There was plenty of time for falling apart later. Right now, she had to break her three-and-a-half-year-old niece’s heart and tell her that both of her parents were dead.
And yet...how could she?
Maya looked so tiny. So vulnerable and forlorn in her puffy pink jacket with dangling purple mittens. In her other hand she clutched a floppy stuffed animal. A dog, maybe. Thank goodness the poor child had one small bit of comfort to hold on to.
They got settled, whereupon Angela’s guilt took over, shoving her grief aside.
When had she last seen Maya? When was the last time she’d spent more than three minutes talking to Maya when she did see her? She stretched her memory as far back as it could go, and still no answers were in sight. Carolyn had been right earlier, hadn’t she? Angela had spent her life being busy with work and figuring there was plenty of time for getting together with her family next weekend, or the weekend after that.
What a joke.
Focus, Angela.
She tried to think.
Did Maya know about death? Did she believe in heaven? How much should Angela tell her?
Maya stared at her, waiting patiently, her huge brown eyes wise and wide in the little chipmunk face that looked so much like Carolyn’s.
A single ray of sunshine dawned in Angela’s heart. No, God hadn’t taken everything, after all. She still had Maya.
She really was adorable. Carolyn had braided her long, wavy black hair in two ponytails on each side of her head, with colorful, beaded rubber bands at the top and bottom of each braid. So cute.
But then another wave of sorrow washed over Angela.
Carolyn was gone forever and tomorrow Angela would have to braid all that hair.
Angela felt her lips begin to quiver again. Pressing them tightly together, she tried to smile. “You’ve had a rough night, haven’t you?”
Tears shone in Maya’s eyes. “That deer ran into the car. It hit Mommy and Daddy.”
Nodding, Angela dipped her head and swiped a tear. “I know.”
Miracles did happen, didn’t they? How else could Maya have survived, unscathed, in the back seat of Carolyn and V.J.’s minivan, when a ten-point buck had mangled the vehicle’s front end beyond recognition?
Maya’s pouty little mouth twisted and her brow furrowed as she tried to understand the incomprehensible. She raised her dog and, hugging him, pressed him to her lips, clearly struggling not to cry.
“Are they in heaven?”
Angela’s neck and chest tightened to the point of agony, choking the word off in her throat. God, she didn’t want to be the one to tell this child her parents were dead. She’d give anything if the earth would just open up and swallow her whole so she didn’t have to deliver this news. Buying time, she cupped the side of Maya’s face, rubbing her thumb over a satiny, chubby cheek. Then she caught one her long braids and smoothed it.
“Yes,” she finally said.
Maya whimpered softly and tears ran down her face behind the dog. She lifted him and used his furry brown head to wipe her eyes. “Are they with Grandma and Grandpa?”
The question was Angela’s undoing.
She took a fresh tissue out of her pocket and, covering her mouth with it, wept quietly.
She should have known Carolyn would tell Maya about her grandparents, even though they’d died long before she
Would she pass out from her broken heart? God, she hoped so. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with this pain, at least for a few minutes.
But then she felt a movement beside her, and she remembered. God hadn’t taken everything after all. She wasn’t alone, nor was she the only one who suffered right now. Someone else had lost far more than she had tonight.
“Come on, Maya. Let’s have a seat.”
She took her niece’s tiny, soft hand and led her to the sofa, praying for strength with each step she took. She could do this. She would do this. She had to. For Carolyn. She would not cry, and she would not shout at God. There was plenty of time for falling apart later. Right now, she had to break her three-and-a-half-year-old niece’s heart and tell her that both of her parents were dead.
And yet...how could she?
Maya looked so tiny. So vulnerable and forlorn in her puffy pink jacket with dangling purple mittens. In her other hand she clutched a floppy stuffed animal. A dog, maybe. Thank goodness the poor child had one small bit of comfort to hold on to.
They got settled, whereupon Angela’s guilt took over, shoving her grief aside.
When had she last seen Maya? When was the last time she’d spent more than three minutes talking to Maya when she did see her? She stretched her memory as far back as it could go, and still no answers were in sight. Carolyn had been right earlier, hadn’t she? Angela had spent her life being busy with work and figuring there was plenty of time for getting together with her family next weekend, or the weekend after that.
What a joke.
Focus, Angela.
She tried to think.
Did Maya know about death? Did she believe in heaven? How much should Angela tell her?
Maya stared at her, waiting patiently, her huge brown eyes wise and wide in the little chipmunk face that looked so much like Carolyn’s.
A single ray of sunshine dawned in Angela’s heart. No, God hadn’t taken everything, after all. She still had Maya.
She really was adorable. Carolyn had braided her long, wavy black hair in two ponytails on each side of her head, with colorful, beaded rubber bands at the top and bottom of each braid. So cute.
But then another wave of sorrow washed over Angela.
Carolyn was gone forever and tomorrow Angela would have to braid all that hair.
Angela felt her lips begin to quiver again. Pressing them tightly together, she tried to smile. “You’ve had a rough night, haven’t you?”
Tears shone in Maya’s eyes. “That deer ran into the car. It hit Mommy and Daddy.”
Nodding, Angela dipped her head and swiped a tear. “I know.”
Miracles did happen, didn’t they? How else could Maya have survived, unscathed, in the back seat of Carolyn and V.J.’s minivan, when a ten-point buck had mangled the vehicle’s front end beyond recognition?
Maya’s pouty little mouth twisted and her brow furrowed as she tried to understand the incomprehensible. She raised her dog and, hugging him, pressed him to her lips, clearly struggling not to cry.
“Are they in heaven?”
Angela’s neck and chest tightened to the point of agony, choking the word off in her throat. God, she didn’t want to be the one to tell this child her parents were dead. She’d give anything if the earth would just open up and swallow her whole so she didn’t have to deliver this news. Buying time, she cupped the side of Maya’s face, rubbing her thumb over a satiny, chubby cheek. Then she caught one her long braids and smoothed it.
“Yes,” she finally said.
Maya whimpered softly and tears ran down her face behind the dog. She lifted him and used his furry brown head to wipe her eyes. “Are they with Grandma and Grandpa?”
The question was Angela’s undoing.
She took a fresh tissue out of her pocket and, covering her mouth with it, wept quietly.
She should have known Carolyn would tell Maya about her grandparents, even though they’d died long before she
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