UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3) by Gigi Aceves

I want, I’m listening to nothing but past hurts and failed attempts. My silence . . . our silence becomes deafening and undeniable.
    As if enlightened after lashing out at me, he whispers his next words, “Are you leaving me?”
    I laugh while my tears betray me. “No, I’m not leaving you, Brian. How can I leave someone who has already left me? Or worse, someone I never had to begin with.”
    “What are you talking about? I never left you! I.will.never.leave.you.” Blowing a frustrated breath, he softly says, “That’s why I never wanted to talk about this. It’ll only fuck with your mind more than it’s fucked with mine.”
    “I . . . I don’t want to talk anymore.”
    Walking toward the door ready to flee, he stops me as he wraps his arms around me, anchoring me against his chest. I don’t move. I don’t breath. I don’t feel. I’m doing a whole lot of nothing, but feeling a whole lot of everything.
    “I love you, angel. Please.”
    He begs for what? Forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, I can’t give him any of that at the moment. I’m all tapped out since regret, hurt, jealousy, fear, and apprehension are flooding my brain. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. I’m jealous for myself, wanting him to be excited I’m pregnant as he was when Lorraine was pregnant. I’m jealous for my unborn child. I want Brian to be just as joyful as the first time . . . if not more. However, wishes and wants aren’t in great abundance right now.
    “I know you do. Apparently, you don’t love me enough to trust that we can do this. That maybe, just maybe, this time will be different for you . . . for us. . . . for our child. But, it’s not worth it for you, is it?”
    “You’re not strong enough to handle the loss. I . . . I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle another.”
    Shaking my head, I forge on, “Why are you thinking it’s going to happen again? Why?”
    He buries his face into my neck as he explains, “Because somehow, I know. The feeling is so strong I can almost sense it. You have to know, I would love to have a child with you. I would Tami, but part of me is scared. It’s the same fears and doubts I’ve lived with all my life. I can’t handle it, T; losing another life would kill me.” He falls, kneeling behind me, holding my waist, clasping me tightly as he says, “I’m afraid for our baby, for you . . . I.Am.Just.Scared. I don’t want to go into the dark again. I don’t want to lose another one of my own . . . I won’t survive it, please.”
    I fall right next to him as the weight of his fears overcomes my own. I turn to face him, opening my arms to receive him, allowing myself to love him while trying to understand the fears he’s talking about. His fears for me and my fears for him mix together with our combined fears for our child. Does it make it less daunting? No. In fact, it’s breathtakingly devastating.
    “I don’t know what you’re asking of me. I know a lot could go wrong during pregnancy, but I can be strong for the both of us, Brian, if only you’ll let me. When I say. . . . every time I say . . . I love you forever, that’s exactly what I mean. It’s forever without a ‘but,’ or ‘only if’ attached to it. Are you willing to walk this path with me?”
    I’m met with silence. Whoever said silence is golden should be bitch slapped, because silence hurts. Getting the message loud and clear, I shrug him off me but his hold intensifies. His other hand lands on my belly, and I fight myself from crying. No. No more tears, but they keep coming. While my eyes shed tears, my heart steels simply because it has to. I’m not going to beg him to be happy with me or to want this, but I’m not going to push him away either. He needs to make the decision on his own, because I’ve already made mine.
    “I’m not as strong as Jake and Cody. Give me time, please,” he says as he weeps like a baby, but his hold on me is pure man.
    With every tightly clamped