Risking It All for Love (A Christmas in Snow Valley Romance) by Kimberley Montpetit

companionable silence for a few minutes while silly
Christmas jingles from the radio bruised our ears.
    “Man, this is soooo good,” Sam said, gulping the last of the onion
rings and wiping his mouth with a napkin. “But now I’m feeling bad about eating
so much. Mom home cooking Sunday dinner and all.”
    “You are a big old bear, you know that?”
    He leaned back in his seat and gazed at me. “You’re kind of hard
on her.”
    “She’s hard on me, too,” I protested, not wanting him to take her
side.
    “I’m on both your sides,” Sam said, as if reading my mind. “But
even when Mom drives me insane I know she means well.”
    I sighed. There were no words right now. My stomach was full, and
I was sleepy from all the fabulous, greasy food.
    “You’re wound so tight, Jess,” he went on tentatively. As if
feeling his way and hoping I wouldn’t bite his head off.
    A lump came into my throat as I stared back at him. “What am I
supposed to do, Sam? I’m stuck in this weird place. I can’t even describe it.
Michael was—my whole life.”
    My younger brother glanced down, then around the café, and then back
at me. “You sure about that? Or is that a guilt trip?”
    “When did you get to be a shrink?”
    “I used to watch you guys all the time. Michael was like a hero, a
big brother to me.”
    “He was supposed to be. Your future brother-in-law.”
    Sam shrugged, chewing on his lips just like I chewed on mine. “But
watching you guys. For a while you were all kissy and romantic. And then, about
a year before the accident, you guys stopped. You seemed more like cousins or
something, best buddies—just like you were when we were all kids.”
    “How would you know? You were only fifteen.”
    “I got eyes. And I’m not stupid.”
    This conversation was very disconcerting.
    “We were going to get married.”
    Sam shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not really. And I think you
feel like you’re to blame.”
    “Of course I do! I—I didn’t stop him from driving that night!”
    “No. No. I mean—I mean you feel bad, but mostly because you
didn’t love Michael enough. You were thinking about breaking up with him.”
    “No, I wasn’t! What kind of fantasy are you spinning about us?”
    “Okay, I don’t think you were actually thinking about
breaking up, but you were starting to watch other guys. Talking about leaving
home for college. Or audition for a dance group—or company—or
whatever you call it. And that’s kind of the same thing, isn’t it?”
    I couldn’t answer him. He was hitting a nerve.
    “I see it happening with my friends now that we’re seniors. We’ve
been together since elementary school and now our lives are kind of like
splitting. We’re all going to do different things after graduation.”
    I nodded slowly. The accident had changed everything, even
though I’d still left home. Michael and I were going to wait for each other and
get married after college. I tried to remember the last time Michael and I had
actually discussed those plans. I think it was back during our sophomore year.
Not after that at all . . .
    “You do realize, Samuel Mason, that you’re the only person I’d
allow to talk to me like this.”
    He lifted his eyebrows. “Yeah.”
    “Let’s talk about something else. Like your girlfriend.”
    “Who says I have a girlfriend?”
    “I think Mom let it slip on the phone a couple weeks ago before I
came home for the holidays.”
    He rolled his eyes.
    “So? What’s her name?”
    “Lydia.”
    “And?”
    “She’s pretty amazing. She might be the one. Know what I mean?”
    I was stunned to hear that come out of his mouth. “You’re way too
young, Sam! You’ve hardly dated any girls. How could you possibly know you want
to spend your whole life with her already?”
    “Wow, you sound like Mom now.”
    I covered my mouth with my hand. “Sorry, I did.”
    “Besides, you didn’t date anybody but Michael since you were a kid.”
    Was I letting my