Running on Empty by Sandra Balzo Page A
Authors: Sandra Balzo
Tags: Fiction, General, Mystery & Detective, Crime, series, Crime Fiction, female sleuth, amateur sleuth, mystery series, north carolina, debut, Cozy Series, Main Street Mysteries, Hill Country, Sandra Balzo
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target-shooting.
A shrug. 'It was dark.'
Night-time drunken target-shooting? Doubly lovely. 'And Rance just toppled into the
lake?'
'Seems so. Joe's not absolutely clear on the sequence of events.'
Poor, pathetic Joe Palooka. With friends like Rance...
But speaking of friends, AnnaLise checked her wristwatch. 'Gotta go. I'll catch you
tonight at Sal's.'
'You still wear a watch? I use my cellphone to tell time.'
AnnaLise was standing. 'I use a watch to tell time and a cell to make calls. So sue
me.'
Sheree was tsk-tsking as she followed her to the door. 'And I suppose you still have
a camera, too.'
'With actual film inside, believe it or not.' AnnaLise turned. 'Call me old-fashioned,
but what's wrong with that? Look at Mama's: the clunky cash register, the cushioned
booths, the comfort food. That's why we love it.'
'Maybe that's why you
love it. I love the view.'
'The view?'
'Sure. The lake, the beach and the bodies.' Sheree Pepper held open the door and shrugged.
'You know what they say: "eventually, every body comes home to Mama's."'
Chapter Six
Sheree and her 'Pepperisms'. Though prone to the sweeping overstatement and occasional
outright lie, she'd been accurate this time.
Things did
come home to roost on Main Street. Or, more specifically, on the public beach across
from Mama's, where the constant Lake Sutherton currents deposited everything from
wayward flip-flops to sodden advertising flyers blown off the mailboat.
Bodies, at least the human variety, were still infrequent. In fact, AnnaLise had long
maintained that Sutherton's widespread reputation for bizarre accidents and untimely
deaths was greatly exaggerated.
However, she did concede her having trouble convincing people of that in the future,
given Daisy's recent phlebotomy flub and Rance Smoaks's even more recent actual demise.
Passing the cinched waist of Lake Sutherton's figure-8, AnnaLise slowed her Mitsubishi
Spyder convertible so as not to miss the turn-off for White Tail Island. Especially
since Daisy, in the passenger's seat, was hanging her head out past the windshield,
eyes closed, but otherwise enjoying the breeze like a cooped-up collie.
Good thing the top wasn't down or Mother Griggs would be standing up like a beauty
queen in the homecoming parade. Not that AnnaLise would mind. She'd been both delighted
and relieved when Daisy agreed to make the short trip with her.
Approaching by water, the fifty-acre island dominated Lake Sutherton's smaller northern
loop, but from the road, it never seemed that obvious. AnnaLise needn't have worried
about overshooting her mark, though. Always low-key and increasingly overgrown since
the lodge had closed, entry to the island was now boldly announced by massive brick
pillars, anchoring an overhead wrought-iron banner reading 'Hart's Landing'.
As AnnaLise made the turn, a large 'Phase One' sign appeared, 'Fully Occupied!' slashed
across it. The next placard read, 'Phase Two — Coming Soon!' And the third, 'Pre-construction
Prices — Better Act Now!'
'Burma-Shave,' Daisy piped up, eyes now wide open.
'You know, this little car makes an awful racket for its size.'
'There's a hole in the muffler, which I'll have fixed when I get back to Wisconsin.
But what did you say about Burma?'
'Burma-Shave. The cream became famous because of an advertising campaign that I think
started all the way back in the 1920s and ran into the Sixties. The company used a
series of roadside signs that sort of interconnected. I don't remember everything
clearly, but your Grandma Kuchenbacher would recite them whenever we went on a driving
vacation.'
'Signs? Like billboards, you mean?' AnnaLise glanced over at her mother, who was smiling
nostalgically.
'No, smaller. Only a couple of words on each sign and then the last one would always
read 'Burma-Shave'. Grandma's favorite chant was "
Does your husband Misbehave? Grunt and grumble Rant and rave?
A shrug. 'It was dark.'
Night-time drunken target-shooting? Doubly lovely. 'And Rance just toppled into the
lake?'
'Seems so. Joe's not absolutely clear on the sequence of events.'
Poor, pathetic Joe Palooka. With friends like Rance...
But speaking of friends, AnnaLise checked her wristwatch. 'Gotta go. I'll catch you
tonight at Sal's.'
'You still wear a watch? I use my cellphone to tell time.'
AnnaLise was standing. 'I use a watch to tell time and a cell to make calls. So sue
me.'
Sheree was tsk-tsking as she followed her to the door. 'And I suppose you still have
a camera, too.'
'With actual film inside, believe it or not.' AnnaLise turned. 'Call me old-fashioned,
but what's wrong with that? Look at Mama's: the clunky cash register, the cushioned
booths, the comfort food. That's why we love it.'
'Maybe that's why you
love it. I love the view.'
'The view?'
'Sure. The lake, the beach and the bodies.' Sheree Pepper held open the door and shrugged.
'You know what they say: "eventually, every body comes home to Mama's."'
Chapter Six
Sheree and her 'Pepperisms'. Though prone to the sweeping overstatement and occasional
outright lie, she'd been accurate this time.
Things did
come home to roost on Main Street. Or, more specifically, on the public beach across
from Mama's, where the constant Lake Sutherton currents deposited everything from
wayward flip-flops to sodden advertising flyers blown off the mailboat.
Bodies, at least the human variety, were still infrequent. In fact, AnnaLise had long
maintained that Sutherton's widespread reputation for bizarre accidents and untimely
deaths was greatly exaggerated.
However, she did concede her having trouble convincing people of that in the future,
given Daisy's recent phlebotomy flub and Rance Smoaks's even more recent actual demise.
Passing the cinched waist of Lake Sutherton's figure-8, AnnaLise slowed her Mitsubishi
Spyder convertible so as not to miss the turn-off for White Tail Island. Especially
since Daisy, in the passenger's seat, was hanging her head out past the windshield,
eyes closed, but otherwise enjoying the breeze like a cooped-up collie.
Good thing the top wasn't down or Mother Griggs would be standing up like a beauty
queen in the homecoming parade. Not that AnnaLise would mind. She'd been both delighted
and relieved when Daisy agreed to make the short trip with her.
Approaching by water, the fifty-acre island dominated Lake Sutherton's smaller northern
loop, but from the road, it never seemed that obvious. AnnaLise needn't have worried
about overshooting her mark, though. Always low-key and increasingly overgrown since
the lodge had closed, entry to the island was now boldly announced by massive brick
pillars, anchoring an overhead wrought-iron banner reading 'Hart's Landing'.
As AnnaLise made the turn, a large 'Phase One' sign appeared, 'Fully Occupied!' slashed
across it. The next placard read, 'Phase Two — Coming Soon!' And the third, 'Pre-construction
Prices — Better Act Now!'
'Burma-Shave,' Daisy piped up, eyes now wide open.
'You know, this little car makes an awful racket for its size.'
'There's a hole in the muffler, which I'll have fixed when I get back to Wisconsin.
But what did you say about Burma?'
'Burma-Shave. The cream became famous because of an advertising campaign that I think
started all the way back in the 1920s and ran into the Sixties. The company used a
series of roadside signs that sort of interconnected. I don't remember everything
clearly, but your Grandma Kuchenbacher would recite them whenever we went on a driving
vacation.'
'Signs? Like billboards, you mean?' AnnaLise glanced over at her mother, who was smiling
nostalgically.
'No, smaller. Only a couple of words on each sign and then the last one would always
read 'Burma-Shave'. Grandma's favorite chant was "
Does your husband Misbehave? Grunt and grumble Rant and rave?
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