Sailing Alone Around the Room

Sailing Alone Around the Room by Billy Collins

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Authors: Billy Collins
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softness that he feels.
    By now I am on to dicing an onion
    which might account for the wet stinging
    in my own eyes, though Freddie Hubbard’s
    mournful trumpet on “Blue Moon,”
    which happens to be the next cut,
    cannot be said to be making matters any better.

Afternoon with Irish Cows
    There were a few dozen who occupied the field
    across the road from where we lived,
    stepping all day from tuft to tuft,
    their big heads down in the soft grass,
    though I would sometimes pass a window
    and look out to see the field suddenly empty
    as if they had taken wing, flown off to another country.
    Then later, I would open the blue front door,
    and again the field would be full of their munching,
    or they would be lying down
    on the black-and-white maps of their sides,
    facing in all directions, waiting for rain.
    How mysterious, how patient and dumbfounded
    they appeared in the long quiet of the afternoons.
    But every once in a while, one of them
    would let out a sound so phenomenal
    that I would put down the paper
    or the knife I was cutting an apple with
    and walk across the road to the stone wall
    to see which one of them was being torched
    or pierced through the side with a long spear.
    Yes, it sounded like pain until I could see
    the noisy one, anchored there on all fours,
    her neck outstretched, her bellowing head
    laboring upward as she gave voice
    to the rising, full-bodied cry
    that began in the darkness of her belly
    and echoed up through her bowed ribs into her gaping mouth.
    Then I knew that she was only announcing
    the large, unadulterated cowness of herself,
    pouring out the ancient apologia of her kind
    to all the green fields and the gray clouds,
    to the limestone hills and the inlet of the blue bay,
    while she regarded my head and shoulders
    above the wall with one wild, shocking eye.

Marginalia
    Sometimes the notes are ferocious,
    skirmishes against the author
    raging along the borders of every page
    in tiny black script.
    If I could just get my hands on you,
    Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O’Brien,
    they seem to say,
    I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head.
    Other comments are more offhand, dismissive—
    “Nonsense.” “Please!” “HA!!”—
    that kind of thing.
    I remember once looking up from my reading,
    my thumb as a bookmark,
    trying to imagine what the person must look like
    who wrote “Don’t be a ninny”
    alongside a paragraph in
The Life of Emily Dickinson
.
    Students are more modest
    needing to leave only their splayed footprints
    along the shore of the page.
    One scrawls “Metaphor” next to a stanza of Eliot’s.
    Another notes the presence of “Irony”
    fifty times outside the paragraphs of
A Modest Proposal
.
    Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers,
    hands cupped around their mouths.
    “Absolutely,” they shout
    to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin.
    “Yes.” “Bull’s-eye.” “My man!”
    Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points
    rain down along the sidelines.
    And if you have managed to graduate from college
    without ever having written “Man vs. Nature”
    in a margin, perhaps now
    is the time to take one step forward.
    We have all seized the white perimeter as our own
    and reached for a pen if only to show
    we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages;
    we pressed a thought into the wayside,
    planted an impression along the verge.
    Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria
    jotted along the borders of the Gospels
    brief asides about the pains of copying,
    a bird singing near their window,
    or the sunlight that illuminated their page—
    anonymous men catching a ride into the future
    on a vessel more lasting than themselves.
    And you have not read Joshua Reynolds,
    they say, until you have read him
    enwreathed with Blake’s furious scribbling.
    Yet the one I think of most often,
    the one that dangles from me like a locket,
    was written in the copy of
Catcher in the Rye
    I borrowed from the local library
    one slow, hot summer.
    I was

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